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    Stars and Stripes beat Hammer and Sickle! Look it up, commie!
     
    — The RED/BLU Soldier, Team Fortress 2
    God Bless America, land that I love…
     
    — God Bless America
    O say can you see by the dawn's early light.
     
    USA-icon.png USAball, Starting to sing its anthem
    Knock, knock. It's the United States with huge boats with guns (gunboats). Open Tokugawa-icon.png the country. Stop having it be closed.
     
    USA-icon.png USAball, history of japan

    The Stupid USA-icon.png United States of Hamburgers, Flat Earthers, FREEDOM, Democracy, and Oil Americaball (USAball), also known as Americaball, USball, or the Most Famous of All Countryballs 'Muricaball, is obese a countryball primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 stateballs, WashingtonDC-icon.png a federal district, five major unincorporated territoryballs, 326 3-icon.png Indian reservations, and nine minor outlying islands. At nearly 3.8 million square miles (9.8 million square kilometers), it is Earth-icon.png Earthball's fourth-largest countryball by geographic area. USA-icon.png USAball shares land borders with Canada-icon.png Canadaball to the north and Mexico-icon.png Mexicoball to the south; USA-icon.png USAball also has maritime borders with Bahamas-icon.png Bahamasball, Cuba-icon.png Cubaball, and Russia-icon.png Russiaball, among others. With a population of more than 331 million people, it is the third most populous countryball on Earth-icon.png Earthball. The national capital is WashingtonDC-icon.png DCball, and the most populous cityball and financial center is NYC-icon.png New York Cityball.

    3-icon.png Paleo-Indians migrated from Siberia-icon.png Siberiaball to the North American mainland at least 12,000 years ago, and European colonization began in the 16th century. USA-icon.png USAball emerged from ColAmerica-icon.png Thirteen Coloniesball established along the East Coast. Disputes with British Empire-icon.png UKball over taxation and political representation led to the American Revolutionary War (1775–1783), establishing USA-icon.png USAball's independence. In the late 18th century, USA-icon.png USAball began God-icon.png expandingUSA-icon tangle.png across North America, gradually Anschlussing new clay, sometimes through war, frequently displacing 3-icon.png 3balls and admitting new stateballs. By 1848, USA-icon.png USAball spanned the continent from east to west. 8-icon (colony).png Slavery was legal in CSA-icon.png southern USAball until the second half of the 19th century, when the American Civil War led to its abolition. The Spanish-American War and World War I established USA-icon.png USAball as a world power, and the aftermath of World War II left USA-icon.png USAball and Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball as Earth-icon.png Earthball's two superpowers. During the Cold War, both sides fought in the Korean and Vietnam Wars but avoided direct military conflict. They competed in the Space Race, culminating in 1969, when USA-icon.png USAball could onto Moon-icon.png Moonball. Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball's dissolution in 1991 ended the Cold War, leaving USA-icon.png USAball as Earth-icon.png Earthball's sole superpower.

    USA-icon.png USAball is a federal presidential-constitutional republic with three separate branches of government, including a bicameral legislature. It is a founding member of UN-icon.png UNball, World Bank, International Monetary Fund, OAS-icon.png OASball, NATO-icon.png NATOball, and other international organizations. It is a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council. Considered a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities, its population has been profoundly shaped by centuries of immigration. USA-icon.png USAball ranks high in international measures of economic freedom, quality of life, education, and human rights; it has low levels of perceived corruption. However, scholars have criticized it for racial, wealth, and income inequality, capital punishment and mass incarceration, and lack of universal health care.

    USA-icon.png USAball is a highly developed countryball, and its economy accounts for approximately a quarter of global GDP and is Earth-icon.png Earthball's largest by GDP at market exchange rates. By value, USA-icon.png USAball is Earth-icon.png Earthball's largest importer and second-largest exporter of goods. Although its population is only 4.2% of Earth-icon.png Earthball's total, it holds over 30% of the total wealth in Earth-icon.png Earthball, the largest share held by any country. Making up more than a third of global military spending, it is the foremost military power in Earth-icon.png Earthball and a leading political, cultural, and scientific force.

    Personality

    USAball is often portrayed in the Polandball universe as loud and sometimes rude, but a logical and multiculturalist character who is strong and cool. It is sometimes drawn as a blob about the fat American stereotype. It can be kind of belligerent sometimes. However, it is essential to the history of democracy. It usually has an invited presence, as it always mentions its freedom and making peace.

    USAball used to be UK-icon.png UKball's most rebellious child; even today, this is reflected in its independent and individualistic attitude symbolized by its cool shades.

    It is not very bright, showing ignorance of smaller countries. Despite being generally more brawn than brains, it has an enormous and romantic imagination, allowing it to invent plenty of things that helped it compete with other countries. It is often depicted as coveting oil very much, to the point of declaring war just for it. Despite being somewhat selfish and often making fun of it, USAball does care for its friends very much.

    USAball is often competitive and likes challenges, reflecting its support for capitalism; this often prompts aggressive behavior and results in pride in its hard work that most other countryballs see as "dickish". From being prideful, which results in its large ego, it often regrets its past actions. Still, it would also take decades to apologize for any wrongdoing. Despite this, USAball has an outgoing attitude and friendly behavior to other countries that treat it as an ally. From this, it likes to reward other friendly countryballs (and itself) based off on merit; such as returning Japan-icon.png Japanball back Okinawa-icon.png Okinawaball for its good behavior, or rewarding Philippines-icon.png Philippinesball independence for its loyalty and compensation for Japanese occupation. It also loves to prove other countryballs wrong, such as Earth-icon.png Earthball's largest Dam (Hoover Dam), Earth-icon.png Earthball's longest railroad (at the time, Transcontinental Railroad), and reaching Moon-icon.png Moonball. It did all this because, as said before, it likes challenges (not because it was easy, but because it was hard).

    USAball is also adventurous and loved to explore and learn more about the unknown. This was reflected in its movement in western expansion throughout North America and its interests in space. However, on the other hand, underneath its "ego mask," USAball can be pretty insecure, and, as said before, it often regrets its past actions. It can also be very paranoid about things strange to it, such as calling out 3-icon.png 3ball for being demons, its fear of communism (which resulted in McCarthyism), and, since 9/11, its growing paranoia for terrorism and Muslims resulted in heavy surveillance even for what it thought was its friends and family. Its fear for its own life (and way of life) and the stress of responsibility of being one of Earth-icon.png Earthball's leading superpowers could be so bad that it tends to monitor its neighbors for anything suspicious.

    However, it is experiencing something similar to a Midlife Crisis. USAball is slowly becoming more sensitive to outside judgment. Holding the burden of most of Earth-icon.png Earthball's problems for decades has gradually caused USAball to lose confidence in itself and make it effortlessly provocative to act aggressively. However, USAball has been showing signs of growing humbleness in the last few years and desires to try to make things right in ISIS-icon.png the Middle East and in Europe. However, it turned out from the humbleness of 2012, and its conflicted behavior met a new conclusion and a period of uncertainty. From a period of uncertainty, USAball does what it does best. It eventually took the path of rebelling against the establishment from all sides. In the end, it turned a new leaf from the 2016 election. It elected a new, unexpected, radical president. much to the shock from other countryballs around it. From 2016 to 2020, it is clear that USAball has developed some sort of split-personality disorder. It is also quite resentful of Earth-icon.png Earthball around it; however, it plans to change all of that.

    History

    Before the Arrival of the Europeans (11500 BC – 1513)

    About 11,500 years ago, the first Caveballs arrived. After many years of discovering new things, several native tribes of 3-icon.png 3ball and 7-icon.png 7balls lived in the region that now constitutes USAball long before the arrival of the first Europeans. Each of these indigenous nations was composed of several tribes with similar cultures and languages, which were allied or neutral among themselves, and sometimes warred against tribes of other nations and among tribes of the same nation. Among the indigenous peoples of USA-icon.png USAball, the 3-icon.png Na-Dene peoples, Iroquois Confederacy-icon.png Iroquois peoples, the 3-icon.png Algonquins peoples (for example, the 3-icon.png Cree and 3-icon.png Ojibwe), the Lakotah-icon.png Sioux, the 3-icon.png Apaches, the Hawaii-icon.png Hawaiians, NewMexico-icon.png Puebloans, Navajo-icon.png Navajos, Aztec-icon.png Uto-Aztecs, Plano cultures, southwestern part of present-day USAball and the Inuit-icon.png Inuits stand out. These indigenous families were, in turn, divided into several smaller tribes. The total number of indigenous natives living in the present-day USA-icon.png USAball in the years preceding the arrival of the first Europeans is not known for sure. This number is estimated to be between one and fifteen million 3-icon.png 3balls. The Plano and Folsom cultures in the Great Plains were evident around until 4000BC.

    Early Colonial History 7-icon.png (1513 – 1754)

    Before USAball was born and England-icon.png Pilgrims settled in Massachusetts-icon.png Massachusettsball, its clay was home to many tribes of 3-icon.png 3ball and 7-icon.png 7balls (as said above), who lived in peace until 1492, when London-icon.png Genoaball landed in the West Indies. In 1513, Spanish-Empire-icon.png Spainball landed in Florida. The Spanish-Empire-icon.png Spanish founded the first permanent settlement in present-day American territory, St. Augustine, on August 28, 1565. Later, other Europeans also made their settlements: Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball and England-icon.png Englandball established settlements on the East Coast of North America in the later 16th century and the Dutch Republic-icon.png Dutch and Swedish Empire-icon.png Swedes settled in the northeast. One of these settlements has a curious history: England-icon.png Englandball's Roanoke-icon.png Roanoke colony is famous for having disappeared in 1585. There are many theories about what happened.

    By the mid-1600s, North America had been settled by Europeanballs, with a few native american states like Wabanaki Confederacy-icon.png Wabanaki Confederacyball (in New England-icon.png New Englandball) and Iroquois Confederacy-icon.png Iroquois Confederacyball (in New York-icon.png New Yorkball. Viceroyalty of New Spain-icon.png Spainball Jr (now today's Mexico-icon.png Mexicoball's) future clay, taking over a hge chunk of land of today's Western USA (now future clays of the American states of Florida-icon.png Floridaball, Texas-icon.png Texasball, Colorado-icon.png Coloradoball, California-icon.png Californiaball, Nevada-icon.png Nevadaball, NewMexico-icon.png New Mexicoball, and Utah-icon.png Utahball.) At the same time, Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball claimed the lands of French Louisiana-icon.png French Louisianaball and French Canada-icon.png French Canadaball (Louisiana-icon.png Louisianaball and Quebec-icon.png Quebecball's future clay), and UK-icon.png UKball claimed the East coast. During the 1640s, the Dutch Republic-icon.png Dutch expelled the New-Sweden-icon.png Swedes from North America.

    British America-icon.png Virginiaball, (named in honor of Queen Elizabeth I, the Virgin Queen) was the first England-icon.png English colony in the Americas. The English Colony of Virginia was founded in 1607. English colonists hoped to find gold or other precious metals but found nothing. Still, it met 3-icon.png a native named Powhatan-icon.png Pocahontas. Instead, Virginiaball became an agricultural colony, exporting tobacco to England-icon.png Englandball from 1612.

    Other early England-icon.png English colonial provinces were founded by England-icon.png Englandball along the Atlantic Ocean. British America-icon.png New Hampshireball was founded in 1629, British America-icon.png Province of Marylandball (named in honor of Queen Mary, the wife of King Charles I) in 1631, British America-icon.png Connecticutball and British America-icon.png Rhode Islandball in 1636, British America-icon.png Delawareball and British America-icon.png New Jerseyball in 1664, British America-icon.png Pennsylvaniaball (named in honor of Sir William Penn, the parent of the founder of the colony) in 1681 and British America-icon.png Massachusettsball was founded in 1691.

    Way before, however, what would be modern-day New York-icon.png New Yorkball was once conquered by Dutch Republic-icon.png the Dutch in 1664. The Dutch were installed in what is now southern New York-icon.png New York State, in a colony called New Netherland-icon.png New Netherlandsball, whose capital was New Amsterdam, since 1614. New Netherland-icon.png New Netherlandsball was captured in 1664 by the English, and New Amsterdam was renamed "New York."

    In 1663, King Charles II of England ceded the region located between the English colony of Virginia-icon.png Virginiaball and the known Spanish-Empire-icon.png Spanish colony of Spanish Florida-icon.png Spanish Floridaball to eight different owners. This region was then called British America-icon.png Carolina (in honor of King Charles II). In 1712, Carolina was divided into three regions. The northern region became British America-icon.png North Carolinaball, and the central region became British America-icon.png South Carolinaball. The southern region remained sparsely inhabited and did not officially become a UK-icon.png British colony until 1733, under the name British America-icon.png Georgiaball (in honor of King George I of the United Kingdom).

    England-icon.png Englandball 's child, ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial Americaball, was influenced by its parent's Protestantism, which was picked up by it in 1620. It lived through its parent's Commonwealth phase (1649-1660) and eventually fought wars on its behalf with French Canada-icon.png New Franceball (future Quebec-icon.png Quebecball) in the latter part of the 17th century, such as King William's War and Queen Anne's War in Canada-icon.png Canadaball 's future clay. In 1692, ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial USAball held the infamous Salem Witch Trials, but moved on from that nonsense, and by 1735 it was UK-icon.png UKball's richest and most successful colony, through the 8-icon.png slave trade.

    At the time, there was the Triangular trade: Europeans exported textiles and rum to Africa, which in return provided 8-icon.png slaves to the colonies in the Americas, which in turn fed the production of sugar, tobacco, and cotton to Europe. Of course, pirates occasionally attacked ships that took this route.

    In 1753, the population of future USAball was 1.3 million inhabitants. The colonies' economy was based primarily on agriculture and the export of agricultural products to other places. So, the Thirteen Colonies already attracted thousands of immigrants annually, becoming a multicultural society.

    Independence ColAmerica-icon.png (1754 – 1789)

    In 1754, Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball fought UK-icon.png UKball in the Seven Years' War, and ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial Americaball was involved on behalf of its parent.

    Both Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball and UK-icon.png UKball claimed clay stretching from the Appalachians to the Mississippi River. Different 3-icon.png indigenous tribes participated in the war, some on the side of the UK-icon.png British, and some on the side of the Kingdom of France-icon.png French.

    ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial America fought Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball's child New France-icon.png New Franceball again, and when it won in 1763, New France-icon.png New Franceball was forcibly adopted by UK-icon.png UKball, UK-icon.png UKball also annexed all Kingdom of France-icon.png French territories west of the Mississippi River - with the exception of New Orleans. French territories west of the Mississippi River, as well as New Orleans, became Spanish-Empire-icon.png Spanish colonies. This meant Kingdom of France-icon.png France had to hand over French Canada-icon.png French Canadaball to UK-icon.png UKball, and French Louisiana-icon.png French Louisianaball and Spanish Empire-icon.png Spainball.

    The Seven Years War heavily indebted the UK-icon.png UK. Furthermore, UK-icon.png the United Kingdom, by taking control of a much larger clay, was forced to increase costs concerning the defense and maintenance of order in its colonies. As a result, the UK-icon.png British government created or expanded a series of taxes throughout the British Empire-icon.png British Empireball. In addition, it raised the taxes from ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial Americaball to cover its expenses, as well as pay for the Seven Years' War.

    These tax hikes included the 1763 Stamp Act and indirectly the 1766 Quartering Act, which ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial USAball called the "Intolerable Acts," despite both being repealed. Things came to a head in 1770 after the Boston Massacre, and when ColAmerica-icon.png Colonial USAball received a tea tax from UK-icon.png UKball, it rebelled and threw all of UKball's tea into Boston-icon.png Bostonball's harbor in 1773. This resulted in tensions rising between parent and child until it erupted in 1775 at Lexington and Concord.

    In 1776, ColAmerica-icon.png Thirteen Coloniesball declared its independence and renamed itself USA-icon.png USAball, and Kingdom of Morocco-icon.png Moroccoball was the first country to recognize its independence. Initially, the USA-icon.png American rebels had a small armed force, poorly trained, poorly equipped. It also dealt with a pressing lack of leaders and commanders. Furthermore, it lacked weapons, supplies, and monetary funds. Despite this, the cause of independence was more important. The rebels had the advantage of fighting in a huge and well-known territory, which was unknown to the UK-icon.png British troops sent to USA-icon.png USAball to deal with it. Initially, the rebels suffered several defeats. Over time, however, the rebels came to dominate the war. USA-icon.png USAball started to beat UK-icon.png UKball in the Revolutionary War of American Independence.

    It became friends with RussianEmpire-icon.png Russian Empireball through trade. It even visited it and Tsarina Catherine II (even though it indirectly supported USAball for the rest of the revolutionary war). Sadly, it continued struggling in the war for about a year or so. Eventually, UK-icon.png UKball was defeated at Saratoga in 1777, causing Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball to directly start supporting USAball with substantial military and economic aid, along with Dutch Republic-icon.png Netherlandsball and Spanish-Empire-icon.png Spainball, UK-icon.png Britain's historic rivals that saw its participation in the war between the "UK-icon.png Brits and the USA-icon.png Separatists of its Colonies" as a proxy war against the British. It also got help from really Kingdom of Morocco-icon.png cool pirates to a lesser extent.

    In 1781, UK-icon.png UKball was cornered at Yorktown by USAball and Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball, who blocked its fleet and joined a professional army to USA-icon.png USAball's volunteers. Rumor has it that in the Siege of Yorktown, USAball fought head to head with its parent's army, killed it all, and almost killed its parent, forcing it to surrender and give USAball its independence in 1783. UKball was so angry that it refused to sit for the picture of the Treaty of Paris, which gave USAball its independence formally. USA-icon.png USAball received all UK-icon.pngBritish America-icon.png British clay south of the Great Lakes and the St. Lawrence River, east of the Mississippi River, and north of Spanish Florida-icon.png Florida, still a Spanish-Empire-icon.png Spanish colony.

    USAball spent the next few years trying to establish itself as a countryball and became a republic rather than a monarchy, like all UK-icon.png its parent's friends, staying the only republican ball in Earth-icon.png Earthball until the bankrupt and ruined Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball had a sudden mental crisis that led to a change of personality in 1789.

    The Early Years (1789 – 1825)

    The US Constitution (created in 1787) instituted a system of electoral colleges in the country. In 1789, George Washington, who had been the leader of the USA-icon.png American rebels in the American Revolution of 1776, was unanimously chosen by members of the electoral college as the first President of USA-icon.png USAball.

    In the 1790s, USAball was independent but financially and economically crippled, as it tried to establish ties with continental European countryballs. The USA-icon.png USAball at that time suffered from several problems, such as a lack of infrastructure and a vast public debt. The country's economic problems were enormous. The country was also divided into two: a North whose economy was primarily based on domestic trade and the nascent manufacturing industry, and whose population mainly was against 8-icon.png slave labor, and a South whose economy relied heavily on agriculture, whose products - primarily cotton - were sold mainly to other countries, and used 8-icon.png slave labor. Another problem was the start of a new war, between France-icon.png Franceball (which was in the middle of Vivelaspin.gif the French Revolution) and UK-icon.png UKball and Spain-icon.png Spainball.

    Vivelaspin.gif The French Revolutionaries expected military aid from the USA-icon.png Americans (some French revolutionaries, like the Marquis de Lafayette, were veterans of the US War of Independence). However, some Americans were in favor, and others were against it. Finally, George Washington decided on neutrality, causing political and military friction between Revolutionary Franceball and USA-icon.png USAball.

    It started making its coins in 1792. By 1796, it had started exploring and colonizing the land as far as the Ohio territory. In 1800, it started to design its new capital city, WashingtonDC-icon.png DCball, and in 1803, Napoleonic-icon.png Franceball, isolated against a giant European coalition, sold it the Louisiana-icon.png Louisianaball territory for 15 million US dollars, doubling the size of its clay. Napoleonic-icon.png Napoleon saw the territory only as a drain on French coffers and didn't want a war against the UK-icon.png British and British America-icon.png British North Americaball and used the money earned from USA-icon.png USAball to invest in its armed forces to acquire territories in Europe.

    In 1803, Napoleonic-icon.png Napoleon's Franceball and UK-icon.png UKball were again at war. Both countries attacked American merchant ships. USA-icon.png USAball instituted an embargo against the two countries in 1807. However, the embargo caused a major economic recession . in USA-icon.png USAball, which at that time was not the superpower it is today and had little effect either on the attacks or on the strong British and French economies. James Madison became President in 1809, and Napoleonic-icon.png France agreed to stop attacking USA-icon.png American merchant ships. The UK-icon.png UK, however, continued actively with these attacks.

    In 1809 however, after run-ins with the Barbary pirates and UK-icon.png UKball's navy, USAball's diplomatic skills were put to the test, and in 1812, after an attempted invasion of its sibling British America-icon.png British North Americaball (future Canada-icon.png Canadaball), UK-icon.png UKball invaded, and helped burn down USAball's White House in 1814. The War of 1812 ended in 1815 with ties established between parent and child. USAball then wrote the Monroe Doctrine in 1823 to prevent another invasions of the Europeans against the USA-icon.pngFirst Mexican Empire-icon.pngFederal Republic of Central America-icon.pngGran Colombia-icon.pngBrazilian Empire-icon.pngPeru-icon.pngBolivar Republic-icon.pngChile-icon.pngParaguay (1813)-icon.pngUnited Provinces of Rio de la Plata-icon.png free countryballs of the New World, after inventing the steamship in 1817.

    Manifest Destiny and Civil War ColAmerica-icon.pngCSA-icon.png (1825 – 1865)

    After the end of the War of 1812, the defeat of Napoleonic-icon.png Napoleon Bonaparte at the Battle of Waterloo and the Congress of Vienna, all events taking place in 1815, an era of relative stability began in Europe. American leaders paid less attention to European conflicts, as well as trade with Europe. They began to focus more on the country's domestic development. In 1819, Florida-icon.png Florida, then a Spain-icon.png Spanish colony, was bought and annexed by USA-icon.png USAball.

    In the 1830s, USAball started to remove 3-icon.png 3balls from its clay by displacing it westwards, and in 1833 the 3-icon.png 3balls embarked on the famous Trail of Tears. This case ended up in the US Supreme Court, which ruled the possibility of favoring the Natives. Even so, the US President, Andrew Jackson, ignored the Supreme Court's mandate.

    However, USAball felt obligated to Manifest Destiny and set off in a wagon to explore the Midwest in the 1840s. As the population of regions and territories in the central and western USA-icon.png USAball gradually increased, it created new territories and states. In 1846, the UK-icon.png United Kingdom ceded the southern part of the Oregon-icon.png Oregon Territory to it. It won a war against Mexico-icon.png Mexicoball in 1848, adopting its rebellious child Texas-icon.png Texasball and discovered gold in the raped California-icon.png Californiaball's clay in 1848-49 (California-icon.png California was also adopted after the war against Mexico). This led to the California Gold Rush, and in 1853 it purchased some land from Mexicoball with that gold. The same year it opened up Tokugawa-icon.png Japanball to trade. In 1840, it held set Liberia-icon.png Liberiaball free, after sending some of its 8-icon.png 8ball slaves there in 1822, as well as having secured its northeastern border with UKball via the 1842 Webster-Abshruton Treaty.

    In the 1850s, USA-icon.png USAball was already a tremendous regional, economic and military power. Thousands of immigrants from European countries settled annually in USA-icon.png USAball. However, the political, social, and economic differences between the North and South of USA-icon.png USAball had grown dramatically since the country gained independence in 1783. The population of the North had increased significantly and was nearly triple the population of the South. Most immigrants settled in the North, whose economy was heavily industrialized and whose population was against the use of 8-icon.png slave labor. The South, in turn, remained dependent on cotton exports to European countries.

    USAball, now touching every body of water near it, started to fill out, as, at this point, USAball was still pretty lean and made itself at home on its new clay. It had some growing pains as it was filling out. Some of its stateballs started to fight over its self-sovereignty, as USAball was a pretty chill parent. The main argument of self-sovereignty that the stateballs had was over slavery, which USAball left alone because it did not have a strong opinion of 8-icon.png 8balls or any slaves at the time because it just grew up with slavery as a norm. So holding to its neutrality, it let the new states allow or disallow slaves when it joined, but once it did, it was pretty much left that way to keep a balance. This led to the Mason-Dixon agreement and the Missouri Compromise. An equal number of slave-owning stateballs and free stateballs would maintain a delicate balance. However, when Kansas-icon.png Kansasball was formally adopted by the Union, it chose to become a free stateball, upsetting the balance and causing a crisis in 1856-1857. Missouri-icon.png Missouriball and the other slave-owning stateballs soon protested to USAball.

    In 1861, the free stateballs and slave-owning stateballs had finally had enough, and the slave-owning Southern stateballs seceded from USAball's clay, forming CSA-icon.png CSAball. The first shots were exchanged at Fort Sumter in mid-1861, and CSA-icon.png CSAball initially gained the upper hand against the divided USAball, who eventually struck back at the Battles of Antietam and Shiloh the following year. UK-icon.png UKball and France-icon.png Franceball considered helping CSA-icon.png CSAball briefly, but decided against it. In 1863, USAball proclaimed the 8-icon.png 8balls in CSA-icon.png CSAball's clay to be free, after the Battle of Gettysburg. This galvanized the northern stateballs and led to a massive offensive. US Georgia-icon.png Georgiaball was forced to bear the weight of the free-stateballs' advance as it marched to the sea through Atlanta in mid-late 1864, and finally, CSA-icon.png CSAball was forced to surrender in 1865, ending the Civil War. USAball introduced Reconstruction to those stateballs who had rebelled and re-incorporated it into the Union by 1870. It allowed it to create the Jim Crow laws as a way to appease the racial tension. Those discriminatory laws against 8-icon.png African Americans USA-icon.png would continue openly across the country for the next century (not being completely repealed until 1964).

    The Gilded Age USA-icon.png (1865 – 1917)

    After the Civil War, USAball focused on civilizing the Wild West, such as building a transcontinental railroad, completed in 1871, and removing the 3-icon.png 3balls. However, this sometimes resulted in USAball's loss, such as at Little Big Horn in 1876. To make room for cities and farms, the USA-icon.png USAball forced the 3-icon.png Natives to move to Indian reservations. These initially resisted, attacking American farms and cities this is where those scenes of natives attacking caravans in western movies came about. Still, the majority of the violent resistance movements on the part of the 3-icon.png Natives ended in 1900.

    USAball also expanded its clay by purchasing Alaska-icon.png Alaskaball (at that time Russian America-icon.png Russian Americaball) from Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball for US$7.2 million in 1867. By the 1880s, USAball had vastly improved its economy and status in Earth-icon.png Earthball. France-icon.png Franceball gave it a Statue of Liberty in 1886. In 1892, USAball held a World's Exposition in Chicago-icon.png Chicagoball, the first of many. In 1896, the Klondike gold Rush sent USAball to Yukon for gold.

    Meanwhile, USAball started doing some imperialism of its own. After giving Liberia-icon.png Liberiaball its de facto independence, it annexed Hawaii-icon.png Hawaiiball in 1895, and defeated Spain-icon.png Spainball in the 1898 Spanish-American War, taking Guam-icon.png Guamball, PuertoRico-icon.png Puerto Ricoball, United States Cuba-icon.png Cubaball and United States Philippines-icon.png Philippinesball. However, the last one gave it some trouble by becoming independent, and USAball fought it until 1902. It became a loyal child afterward. USAball was also involved in Qing-icon.png China at the Boxer Rebellion in 1900, and helped build a railroad through Qing-icon.png Qingball's clay. USAball also acquired the Guano Islands and American Samoa-icon.png American Samoaball.

    Before the war, Spain-icon.png Spainball was no longer considered a global power, but a rich and weak countryball, and was considered a secondary countryball among the European powers, which meant that the Spanish defeat did not draw much European attention concerning the military capacity of USA-icon.png USAball. USA-icon.png USAball was already the most significant economic power in Earth-icon.png Earthball, but with little military importance.

    In 1903 USAball invented the plane, then started mass-producing cars in the 1900s and 1910s. The Rust Belt across its clay was a surge of income. It purchased Danish-West-Indies-icon.png Danish West Indiesball in 1916 and renamed it VirginIslands-icon.png United States Virgin Islandsball. It tried to stay neutral and isolated in world politics. Still, in 1906 it helped orchestrate the Treaty of Portsmouth to end the Russo-Japanese War. It also dated a UK-icon.png British woman for a couple of years until it died in an airstrike while visiting London during WW1. Despite the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania, it refrained from fighting with Reichtangle-icon.png Reichtangle until the Zimmermann Telegram was discovered in 1917. Around this time, USAball was having trouble with Mexico-icon.png Mexicoball's rebels (Mexicoball was in the middle of the Mexican Revolution), and also started building a Panama Canal Zone-icon.png canal through Panama-icon.png Panamaball's clay. It also had occupied Haiti-icon.pngDominican-icon.png Hispanola in WW1.

    On the battlefields of Europe, American divisions play an essential role in the victory, consolidating the country's military prestige for the first time.

    The Roaring 20s, the Depression, and another war (1917 – 1949)

    After USAball helped the Allies win World War I in 1918 at the Meuse-Argonne offensive, it helped write the Treaty of Versailles in 1919 at the Paris Peace Conference, imposing heavy reparations on Germany-icon.png Germanyball. It also gave it loans, such as the Dawes Plan in 1924 and the Young Plan a few years later. In 1920, USAball banned alcohol from its clay but continued to consume it secretly.

    The war devastated Europe and created a staggering unemployment rate due to the complete lack of structure on the continent due to the prolonged battles, which generated a financial crisis fueled by exorbitant expenses of a military nature. With the European decline, USA-icon.png USAball emerged as a world power taking a prominent position in Earth-icon.png Earthball political and military scenario. Throughout the 1920s, USAball had a boom era. It became a creditor countryball and invented things, such as flappers and the Charleston. It even flew solo across the Atlantic in 1927.

    In 1929, however, its stocks dropped sharply in the Wall Street Crash. The Great Depression began around Earth-icon.png Earthball as it called back all its debts immediately. USAball's banks and gold standard failed by 1932. In 1933, however, it started to embark on the New Deal. Its economy steadily began to improve, as it stopped Prohibition and moved its children Oklahoma-icon.png Oklahomaball and Nebraska-icon.png Nebraskaball away from the Dust Bowl. USAball developed a policy of isolationism in the later 1930s to fascism in Europe and East Asia. It embargoed Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball after it raped Taiwan-icon.png Chinaball in 1937 and gave aid to UK-icon.png UKball and Free France-icon.png Franceball in 1940 to fight Nazi-icon.png Nazi Germanyball; that was it until Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball attacked Pearl Harbor in December 1941, and USAball entered the war.

    In 1942-43, USAball supplied aid to Soviet-icon.png USSRball, and landed in French North Africa-icon.png French North Africaball in Operation Torch. It fought Japanese-Empire-icon.png Japanball at Saipan, Guam, and Guadalcanal. It then liberated Philippinesball in 1945, after Japanese-Empire-icon.png Empire of Japanball captured Iwo Jima and Okinawa. It then helped land at Normandy in D-Day and Operation Dragoon in southern Vichy France-icon.png Vichy Franceball's clay, and crushed Italian-Empire-icon.png Italyball with the Allies. Nazi-icon.png Nazi Germanyball retreated with the disintegration of its best troops in Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball's clay and the prodigious resurrection of Free France-icon.png Franceball, who took its clay back and brought an enormous army to help the Allies invade it. By April 1945, USAball and Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball were in Berlin and divided Nazi Germanyball's clay up after it committed suicide. They each adopted one of its children, with USAball adopting Germany-icon.png West Germanyball in 1948 and supplying it by air. Meanwhile, USAball used its atomic bombs on Japanese-Empire-icon.png Empire of Japanball's cities, forcing it to surrender and ending World War II. USAball then offered the Marshall Plan to all Western European countryballs affected by the war. However, a new Cold War was looming between itself and the communist Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball. Commonwealth of the Philippines-icon.png Philippinesball became independent, by the way.

    USA-icon.png USAball and Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball became the only world superpowers at the end of World War II; they occupied the vacuum left by the former European powers, which, at the time, was destroyed by the war.

    Cold War, Arms Race, Space Race, and Civil Rights Soviet-icon.pngUSA-icon.png (1949 – 2000)

    In 1950, USAball became involved in Korea, supporting South Korea-icon.png South Koreaball against its North Korea-icon.png communist sibling, who had the help of newly communist China-icon.png Chinaball, and USAball brought in NATO-icon.png NATOball members, and UN-icon.png UNball, born in 1945 to help it. USAball also had to give its 8-icon.png 8ball's rights in the 1950s and 1960s. The civil rights movement of the 8-icon.png 8balls inspired the 3-icon.png 3balls to also claim its rights, with USAball giving to it rights at the end of 1960s. In 1962, its traitorous child Cuba-icon.png Cubaball held Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball's nuclear weapons, which led to the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, narrowly averting World War III. In 1964, after the Gulf of Tonkin incident, USAball became involved in Vietnam, against Vietnam-icon.png North Vietnamball. It was accused of committing war crimes, such as the 1968 My Lai massacre. It was ultimately forced to pull out of Vietnam in 1973, leading to South Vietnam-icon.png South Vietnamball's eventual collapse in 1975. USAball also had a space race between itself and Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball, who took off running but was beaten when USAball orbited around Earth-icon.png Earthball in 1962, then landed on Moon-icon.png Moonball in 1969. WMDs (Weapon of mass destruction) were of concern in the 1960s, and USAball protested against it in its Summer of Love hippy movement.

    USA-icon.png USAball, despite claiming to be a supporter of the "free world and democracy," helped establish right-wing dictatorships in Latin American countries in the 1960s and 1970s, during the Cold War. This is one of the reasons why the country is still today called a hypocrite in international relations by other countries (especially by the Russians, when the Americans argue with it about its having placed communist dictatorships in Eastern Europe in the same epoch). However, the Latin American and Eastern European dictatorships were only overthrown in the 1980s by the people of these countries.

    USAball with the Vietnam War and counterculture of 1960s syndrome.

    In the 1970s, détente reigned with the 1972 SALT I agreements being signed to limit the production of WMDs, which had destroyed Bikini Atoll in 1946. In 1974, meanwhile, USAball had some scandal around Watergate, then but in 1979, Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball invaded DR Afghan-icon.png Afghanistanball's clay and USAball led a boycott of its 1980 Moscow Olympics in response, so Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball led a 1984 boycott of USAball's Los Angeles Olympics and accidentally shot down a jetliner in 1983. The same year, USAball almost got into a nuclear war with Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball twice! USAball, UK-icon.png UKball, frenemy China-icon.png Chinaball, and distant friend (yeah, right.) Pakistan-icon.png Pakistanball supported the Mujahideen in DR Afghan-icon.png Afghanistanball against Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball. In 1987, its economy crashed on Black Monday. However, in 1988, Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball effectively lost the Cold War when the Iron Curtain began to disintegrate, and Soviet-icon.pngBulgaria-icon.pngRomania-icon.pngEast Germany-icon.pngHungary-icon.pngCzechia-icon.pngAlbania-icon.png the Eastern Bloc was dissolved in 1989. USAball said things like, "Ich bin ein Berliner," "Evil Empire," and "Tear Down this Wall!". However, it was then caught up in the Middle East against Iraq-icon.png Iraqball in the Gulf Wars of 1991 and 2003. The 90s was also the decade USAball was attacked both directly and indirectly attacked by Al-Qaeda-icon.png Al-Qaedaball: First in 1993 during the World Trade Center bombing, second in the 1996 Khobar Towers attack in Saudi Arabia-icon.png Saudi Arabiaball, and the bombing of USAball's embassies in Kenya-icon.png Kenyaball and Tanzania-icon.png Tanzaniaball in 1998. USAball tried to kill Al-Qaedaball with cruise missiles in response to the embassy bombing but failed to do so. In 1999, it helped avoid the Y2K bug, returned the Panama Canal Zone-icon.png Panama Canal to Panama-icon.png Panamaball, and celebrated the arrival of the New Millennium in 2001.

    New Millennium ISIS-icon.pngAl-Qaeda-icon.pngNATO-icon.pngCoronavirus-icon.pngRussia-icon.png (2001 – present)

    Earth-icon.png Earthball celebrated the arrival of the New Millennium as all countryballs look forward to a prosperous and hopeful future. Nope, no one made no flying cars nor instantly predicted weather, but it didn't matter. However, the hope for having a peaceful decade would not last for long.

    On September 11, 2001, Al-Qaeda-icon.png Al-Qaedaball destroyed the World Trade Center's twin towers in NYC-icon.png New York Cityball and attacked the Pentagon near WashingtonDC-icon.png DCball. France-icon.png Franceball tried to mobilize oriental balls against terrorist groups based on its clay and put its veto on USAball's project to invade Ba'athist Iraq-icon.png Ba'athist Iraqball, interpreting it with insight as a desire for oil orgy. As a vendetta, USAball began a moral bashing game against France-icon.png Franceball and declared a War on Terror, going into the Middle East and invading and puppeting Islamic Republic of Afghanistan-icon.png Afghanistanball and Iraq-icon.png Iraqball. In 2005, USAball got hit by Hurricane Katrina, making it the deadliest hurricane to hit USAball ever. USAball has also been busy hunting kebab terrorists such as ISIS-icon.png ISISball and Al-Qaeda-icon.png Al-Qaedaball, who was killed in 2011 while hiding in Pakistan-icon.png Pakistanball's clay. The same year, USAball and its NATO-icon.png NATOball allies intervened in Gaddafi Libya-icon.png Libyaball's multiple personality disorder. USAball has now given LGBT-icon.png same-sex couples rights and tried to hide its corruption. In 2014, USAball and Cuba-icon.png Cubaball reconciled for the first time in almost 50 years. In 2016, USAball's conflicted behavior met a new conclusion and a period of uncertainty. In that year's election, Donald Trump-icon.png an unexpected winner had shocked Earth-icon.png Earthball around it. Things began to change on the global stage.

    In 2017, USAball and NATO-icon.png NATOball are currently engaging ISIS-icon.png ISISball, Boko Haram-icon.png Boko Haramball, remnants of the followers of Al-Qaeda-icon.png Al-Qaedaball and Taliban-icon.png Talibanball in the Middle East. It has also indirectly teamed up with long time rivals like Russia-icon.png Russiaball in fighting the Türkiye-icon.png kebabs. However, it has been said that many of the problems today are USAball's fault.

    On August 17, 2017, a white supremacist rally took place in Charlottesville as White Nationalist groups attacked counter-protesters (even at first, it was a protest against taking down a Robert E. Lee statue). And a car rammed into anti-racist protesters, killing one person and injuring 19 people.

    On August 23, 2017, Hurricane Harvey hit southern Texas-icon.png Texasball that flooded Houston-icon.png Houstonball and other cities with more than yearly average rainfall at more than 50 inches. In addition, three hurricanes hit Floridaball, Puerto Ricoball, and United States Virgin Islandsball, which were Irma, Jose, and Maria.

    On October 1, 2017, a shooting occurred in Las Vegas-icon.png Las Vegasball as 58 people were killed and 489 injured. This was the deadliest shooting in USAball by a lone person.

    On December 14, 2017, the FCC voted to repeal net neutrality. It intended on repealing it even more to do profit. However, little does the FCC know that this could/will mess up the economy.

    In December 2019, USAball caught Donald Trump-icon.png Donald Trump in a major scandal with Ukraine-icon.png Ukraineball. The House of Representatives impeached him, but the Senate acquitted him.

    A new decade emerged, but it was off to a terrible start: World War III almost occurred due to Iran-icon.png Iranball and Donald Trump-icon.png Trump.

    On January 20, 2020, a mysterious new virus called Coronavirus-icon.png SARS-CoV-2 spread to USAball. Trump's reaction to it was poor, and it spread exceptionally quickly in successive waves. Finally, after WHOball declared a pandemic on March 11, 2020, almost all schools shut down in USA-icon.png USAball and Earth-icon.png Earthball.

    On May 26, 2020, George Floyd, an 8-icon.png 8ball, was killed during an encounter with police in Minneapolis-icon.png Minneapolisball. Many protests broke out all over the country. Portland-icon.png Portlandball suffered exceptionally brutally from the protests.

    As the 2020 election neared, many Americans took sides. Joe Biden-icon.png Joseph Biden was confirmed the winner by many sources. However, President Trump called the election rigged and began a campaign to overturn the results. Eventually, after a rally led by Trump, its supporters marched on the Capitol and broke inside in a final attempt to confirm a victory for Trump; however, it failed, and that only caused more Republicans to support Biden. In fact, Donald Trump-icon.png it was impeached again, making him the first and only US President to be impeached twice. But, like the first time, the Senate acquitted him.

    President Joseph Biden was inaugurated on January 20, 2021, having lots of damage to fix. Slowly, Biden made vaccines available to every one of at least five years of age. Unfortunately, US weather also became very crazy, including powerful hurricanes, snow in Las Vegasball, fires in Californiaball and Oregonball, and record-high summer temperatures in much of USAball's clay.

    Sometime later, USA-icon.png USAball and Russia-icon.png Russiaball did a deal on nukes, making it the newest WMD Agreement ever.

    In the first half of 2021, the delta variant of Coronavirus-icon.png COVID-19 from India-icon.png Indiaball wreaked havoc on USAball. In August, it started to weaken as more people got vaccinated. Unfortunately, a new variant—Omicron—emerged from South Africa-icon.png South Africaball. It became so extreme that some schools in its clay shut down.

    On August 15, 2021, Taliban forces marched into Kabul-icon.png Kabulball's clay and took it, ending the 20-year conflict in US defeat.

    On December 25, 2021, USAball launched the James Webb Space Telescope to succeed the Hubble Space Telescope. The James Webb Space Telescope is a significant improvement to Hubble, and USAball plans to get it in action very soon.

    In January 2022, omicron began to weaken. Unfortunately, Joe Biden's popularity decreased rapidly, partially due to inflation and removing troops from Afghanistan-icon.png Afghanistanball's clay. As if one war wasn't enough, Russia-icon.png Russiaball looked liked it would invade Ukraine-icon.png Ukraineball, so USA-icon.png USAball called up NATO-icon.png NATOball to counter this.

    Unfortunately, USA-icon.png USAball's worst dreams came true when Russia-icon.png Russiaball invaded Ukraine-icon.png Ukraineball on February 24, 2022. USA-icon.png USAball joined EU-icon.png EUball and others in sanctioning Russia-icon.png Russiaball. Joe Biden-icon.png Joe Biden then delivered a State of the Union address as USA-icon.png USAball ramped its sanctions on Russia-icon.png Russiaball. Meanwhile, the James Webb Space Telescope has been getting ready for use. Its first images are already out!

    When USA-icon.png USAball sanctioned Russia-icon.png Russiaball, its oil prices skyrocketed to record-high levels. They're decreasing, though.

    In May 2022, a Supreme Court paper was leaked; the paper revealed the Supreme Court's plan to overturn Roe v. Wade. Roe v. Wade was a Supreme Court decision to protect abortion. This was met with outrage.

    Flag colors

    Main colors

    Color Name RGB CMYK HEX
    Eastbay 60, 59, 110 C87-M74-Y20-K21 #3C3B6E
    Mexican Red 178, 34, 52 C21-M95-Y83-K9 #B22234
    White 255, 255, 255 N/A #FFFFFF

    How to draw

    1. Draw a ball (or a blob).
    2. Draw 13 red stripes on the ball.
    3. Add a blue canton on the top left.
    4. Draw 50 stars (or dots) on the blue canton. You can also replace all the stars with text that says "50 ☆" if you do not want to draw all the stars.
    5. Draw the sunglasses or eyes, and then you are finished.

    Relationships

    Allies

    Everyone. If you are a democratic country, you are an ally to USA-icon.png USAball, so don't even try to deny it.
    But the more important ones:

    • Canada-icon.png Milk in a bag - My little sibling. We grew up together. We fight together (and each other). Also, my best friend that joined me in my wars, although it loves those filthy commies a little bit too much. It helped me out big time during 9/11 by taking in stranded airline passengers when I was forced to close my airspace. It also invented modern smartphones! But really, quit influencing my states to be part of you. Don't even think Alaska-icon.png Alaskaball is interested since it is my clay.
    • France-icon.png Franceball - Canadaball's parent and my biological parent that never got the chance to raise me because it got defeated by UKball. It is also my first ally along with Morocco, despite being a dumb sack of coward cheese who doesn't want to bash kebabs and terrorists with me. Thanks for discovering explosive artillery and aviation; I love to play with it! Thanks for saving the revolution by fighting and money (be discreet about it, please! And also thanks for the Statue of Liberty. Just a pity for me that my national symbol is a French one.)
    • UK-icon.png Parent - My parent! I hated those taxes, causing the revolution. But today, they consider me to be its PROUDEST, STRONGEST, AND COOLEST achievement ever. It even gave me the actors for Game of Thrones and Star Wars. It thinks I should use the "correct way" of speaking in English and use the goddamn liberal commie metric system! Sorry parent, but I'm not interested because I'm more into Merican' English and the Imperial system! FREEDOM!
    • Ireland-icon.png Irelandball - Potatoes. We both like to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day and drink beer. Many of my presidents have Irish ancestry too! Our current president Biden is descended from it. I also have a lot of Irish immigrants in the cities of Boston and Chicago!
    • Denmark-icon.png Viking - Aren't you that ball that gives me those Lego bricks? I don’t like steppin' on it, though. Ouchie!
    • Sweden-icon.png Other Viking - Gives Minecraft And HOI4. Many of my people play both of its game, and I would like to thank you for making them!
    • Finland-icon.png Nokia - Another guy that also hates Soviet-icon.png Commie and even fought it.
    • Norway-icon.png Oil - Nordic guy who has a butt ton of OIL, SWEET SWEET f***IN' OIL. GIMME!
    • Czechia-icon.png 5x Invaded Country You are probably have been invaded like 5 times, don't worry, I won't let anyone else invade you, since you're in NATO-icon.png Nato and EU-icon.png EU.
    • Italy-icon.png Favorite chef - Pizza is good. Also, I liked its rock band Maneskin. and I also like Ferrari and its fashion brands.
    • Romania-icon.png Vampire - It's my uncle, but I don't think I know you. Wait. Holy s***, you are a vampire! I will defend myself with garlic, holy water, a cross, and a colt. I saw in Supernatural how to kill a vampire! Don't you dare come any closer!
      • Romania-icon.png: I'M NOT A VAMPIRE!
    • Spain-icon.png Paella - Parent of Mexicoball, and techinally me. A cool person. Thanks for giving me Florida-icon.png weird stateball we created from our incest Floridaball.
    • Germany-icon.png Sausages - It gives sausages. We used to be enemies in both World War I and World War II, but at least it learned its lesson from us. Our former president Trump and most of my citizens are descended from it, especially Minnesota's peeps. (Also supplies me with cool guns!)
    • Gibraltar-icon.png UK's base in Spain - UK's military base in the Mediterranean. It lets my subs dock there sometimes. Sorry Spainball, you have to respect it if it wants to remain British.
    • Belgium-icon.png Half French-Dutch guy - Waffles and maybe fries. Its capital Brussels is also home to NATOball and also supplies me with plenty of guns!
    • Philippines-icon.png Child - My former colony, but now my favorite child. However, it started to hate me a bit ever since Duterte-icon.png Duterte took office. Still, we improved relations since it just hated Obama-icon.png Obama for some apparent reason.
    • Poland-icon.png Plumber that works for my parent - The plumber who works for the UK. It's a former commie who's okay now. Also, pretty good friends because we helped tear down that wall. (And it broke the Enigma code for us). I got a lot of its people in some of my states. Good ol' Indonesia.
    • Albania-icon.png Bird Guy - Who are you again? Are you Kosovo-icon.png Kosovoball's sibling or something?
      • Albania-icon.png: I'm Shqipëria, Amërica...
    • Japan-icon.png Asia's Finland - I helped it rebuild itself after WW2, I regret banging it so hard and turned it from an isolationist empire into a 1st world democratic countryball and also a powerful ally against the filthy Commies. They also give me video games like Mario, Legend of Zelda, Sonic, and more. I like its anime too. Recently, they invented and gave me a Nintendo Switch. Same as Estonia, also give pianoes too. It calls me "Unova," though. I don't know what that means.
    • South Korea-icon.png K-POP - We're cool. Like many big countries, we helped rebuild it during WWII. We both help each other all the time, usually against its evil sibling called North Korea. We also have ROK-US joint military training. We also helped it during the Korean War. They gave me Samsung and LG. Also, they give us K-Pop too.
    • Colombia-icon.png Colombiaball - It used to hate us once; now it likes us, and we kill drug lords together. I love its coffee and the Shakira songs!
    • Panama-icon.png Panamaball - We share money, and cut it in half built a canal for it. We removed Manuel Noriega for you! I would love to visit that volcano that shows both the Pacific and the Atlantic.
    • Hong Kong-icon.png Hong Kongball - We barely met, but it's the only Chinese city that loves us, and we helped it in the 1940s. Go Umbrella Revolution! COLONIZATION DEMOCRACY TO CHINA!
    • Netherlands-icon.png Guy who smokes crack - Crazy Uncle Netherlands! We wouldn't exist without it! Although it doesn't get why. It has a weird stash of weed too, but we don't ask about that.
    • Israel-icon.png Holy Land - Muh best friend, yup! Never left our side. It is the master of Kebab Removal. It's the land of the Prophets of the Bible and Jesus Christ. I think it's probably attempting to become self-sufficient. I will always protect you because it is what my pastors and priests say to me do! Oh, and it also doesn't like it when I order a cheeseburger at one of its restaurants though I'm not quite sure why?
    • Taiwan-icon.png Republic of Chinaball - I known it more as Taiwanball. We're allies with it and sell weapons and gear; I don't recognize you, but I won't just stand there if China tries anything funny to you.
    • Australia-icon.png Upside down clay - Sibling! Oi, chuck a shrimp on the barbie, mate! it's my 2nd best friend after Canadaball, and of course, I would like to go hunting with you. Sorry if I get your accent wrong, I just want to sound cool.
    • New Zealand-icon.png Australia's Ireland - Don't call it little Australia! They don’t like to be called that way. BUT they are very similar to its twin sibling.
    • Dominican-icon.png Guy from the Caribbean - Who is this guy! Ah, now I remember who you are. I helped it assassinate its evil dictator in 1961. I also allowed it to win its civil war against the commies. So, are you gonna get along with Haiti-icon.png Haitiball now?
    • Kenya-icon.png OBAMA WAS HERE! Kenyaball - I once helped this guy to fight Islamic terrorists. Also, our former president Obama-icon.png Obama F*** YEAH descended from it!
    • Djibouti-icon.png DJ Booty - It let us use its clay to fight the pirates! However, Franceball, Japanball, and Chinaball have placed their militaries in its clay (Back-off pals, it's mine!). But my child hates you for flag identity? I have a bad memory for remembering names; I'm better at remembering faces. but it's going to be hard to forget this little guy's name. HAHAHA!
    • Malaysia-icon.png Muslim version of me Malaysiaball - Southeastern version of me and the best Islamic sibling ever. It has an identical flag to mine (even though mine is older.) ALSO REAL NICE, MAKING TWIN TOWERS TO REMIND ME OF 9/11. However, we have a lot in common though.
    • Thailand-icon.png Thailandball - Former ally of Japanese-Empire-icon.png Evil Weaboo but we're fine now. I met them on my trip to Vietnam. We fought North Vietnam together. Now, it's our major non-NATO ally who recently suffered a multiple personality disorder. Better get it to the hospital. We'll take a river taxi since it isn't many cars there.
    • Singapore-icon.png Tringapore - Rich and smart sibling. Also most developed in Southeast Asia. Quite a few business opportunities there.
    • Bahamas-icon.png East Hawaii - Awesome cruise ship destination. Many of us Americans had liked this place when Cuba-icon (Castro).png Castro banned us from its clay. Still no agreement on our maritime border, though.
    • British Virgin Islands-icon.png British Virgin Islandsball - USVI's cousin who is also sterile
    • Cayman Islands-icon.png Cayman Islandball - A good place for a vacation to get away from stress. It's a tax haven that is good for the soul. I store my money and wealth here.. Hm. where are all the gay men caymans? I thought that these islands were full of alligators and crocodiles or something.
    • Turks and Caicos-icon.png Turks and Caicosball - Caribbean sibling near Florida.
    • Liberia-icon.png Liberiaball - So, this one time, I had a colony. It has as much FREEDOM f*** YEAH as me because it is my independent child. I may have taught it how to enslave 8-icon.png 8balls through, oops! Bring freedom to your commie neighbors, kiddo!
    • Bulgaria-icon.png A guy from Europe - It's probably one of the many guys that I allied with after the Cold War.
    • Morocco-icon.png Moroccoball - Historic alliance. It was the first country to recognize us formally! Thanks for recognizing my freedom, buddy. Also, I don't recognize this Western Sahara-icon.png "country" for you, and don't let these separatist commies try to divide you!
    • Greece-icon.png Greeceball - This little guy invented DEMOCRACY AND KEBAB REMOVAL! I gave to it fascism in return! (Sorry about that.) Other than that, we get along well nowadays. It pleases me for sanctioning Türkiyeball.
    • Cyprus-icon.png Tiny Island in the Mediterranean - Hey, this island is a friend of Greece. Well, half a friend. I don't even know it that well.
    • Indonesia-icon.png Bali Indonesiaball - Chill friend. Nice beaches and we're cool. Our former president, Obama-icon.png Barack Obama f*** YEAH, was here. Good ol' Bali Poland. Your people are supporting Russia sadly, but thx for inviting Ukraine-icon.png Ukraineball on your summit G20!
    • Estonia-icon.png That One European Countryball - What? Isn't that, like, part of Russia-icon.png Russiaball, or something? Wait, you're telling me it's friends with Finnistan? Give more pianos then!
    • Hungary-icon.png Hungry guy - I don't know much about it but its name sounds like the word hungry. But why do you make these cubes so hard?
    • Bosnia-icon.png That guy in the Balkans - Little Muslim guy that we saved from that Serbia-icon.png Serbia. It wants into NATO-icon.png NATOball as well.
    • Saudi Arabia-icon.png OIL! - Even though it's a very controversial Muslim Guy, it sells us oil. It helps us fight Iraq during the Gulf War. We both have a Iran-icon.png a common enemy.
    • Jordan-icon.png Michael Jordanball - Basketball Muslim friend of ours. We made it and Egypt-icon.png Egyptball friends with Israel-icon.png Israelcube in 1979! We fight ISIS-icon.png ISISball, the filthy terrorist, together!
    • Bahrain-icon.png An Arabian countryball - Oil and major non-NATO ally! I get it on my trip to the Persian Gulf in the 90s.
    • Kuwait-icon.png Another Arabian countryball - Oil and significant non-NATO ally! We liberated it from Iraq!
    • Tunisia-icon.png Tunisiaball - Recently became my major non-NATO ally! (2015) Recently suffered an attack by ISIS. Don't worry, little buddy; I’ll give those terrorist scum FREEDOM! Wait, you're the grandson of Carthage. I remembered now that we shot the Star Wars desert scenes in its clay. Thank you for permitting us!
    • Brazil-icon.png Brazilball - My best friend during World War II. And we removed these damned Nazis. I hope you take care of Venezuela-icon.png Venezuelaball. And it's a child of Portugal-icon.png Portugalball, But it is friends with Russia, though.
      • Brazil-icon.png: WHAT?! I hate Russia now!
    • South Vietnam-icon.png South Vietnamball - Historical and long time friend. Fought against those commie northerners! (And unfortunately, it lost and is dead now)
    • Palau-icon.png Blue Japan - The most adorable adopted child of mine who became independent in 1994, as the last Trust Territory of the Pacific Islandsball. It didn't join Micronesia and is smaller than the others. Papa loves you, my cute little boy! Remember not to get into trouble!
    • Marshall Islands-icon.png Marshall Islandsball and Micronesia-icon.png Micronesiaball - Palau's Trust Territory siblings and its adopted children. It became independent in the 80s. Come home, guys; papa misses you so much.
    • Chile-icon.png Chileball - I backed it up in a military coup in 1973. Look, I'm sorry for what happened after that (military dictatorship), but it was other times. Its flag reminds me of my proudest child Texas-icon.png Texasball or NorthCarolina-icon.png North Carolinaball. Hope it takes care of Venezuela-icon.png Venezuelaball.
    • Argentina-icon.png Argentinaball - Major non-NATO ally of mine in South America. We have a weird friendship because it is still mad at me for supporting my parent during some war over some islands closer to Antarcticaball in 1982. I wasn't even sure what the hell was going on near Antarctica; at the time, I was more focused on the Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball. Those islands are my parent's problem, not mine. Also, it has a weird friendship with Venezuelaball. Also, thanks for the help in the Gulf.
    • Guyana-icon.png Guyanaball - Good sibling, we helped it get rid of drugs. (Sorry about the Kool-Aid.)
    • Peru-icon.png Peruball - Another Latino country that sucks at soccer, but we're cool. It also has gold and silver and llamas. I don't know them very much, but I know that it's a sibling of Argentina and Mexico.
    • Nigeria-icon.png Scammers - Great African ally, I'm its largest trading and diplomatic partner and give it a lot of investments, too many investments, but it is really good at scamming so I will let it pass. You want us to buy your oil? Sure thing, buddy! And we'll send that money to your poor dethroned prince. (What do you mean, you're a republic?! D'oh! Because no one warned me)
    • Islamic Republic of Afghanistan-icon.png Islamic Republic of Afghanistanball - I gave it stinger missiles to fight that commie. Was merely taken over by Taliban-icon.png the taliban once before I gave freedom to it and successfully got rid of the Taliban in 2001 Ignore the fact it got taken over again by it. It's been a decade; it's time for you to graduate and fight the remaining Taliban, child. And yes, you've heard me right. I'm giving you Black Hawks to replace your Soviet-era junk. These birds should do you well. Sadly it got taken over by this Taliban-icon.png s***hole again, BUT SOON, I WILL COME BACK! COUNT ON IT!
    • Sweden-Finland-icon.png Sweden-Finlandball (Alternative History Movies) - This Country fused Sweden-icon.png Sweden and Finland-icon.png Finland when Soviet-icon.png Soviet Union threatened Finland but when WW2 was over, this country split back up and Sweden and Finland resumed their normal lives.
    • Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball - You gave me Alaska, so thanks. Also, we helped each other in some wars. But you were the first victim of the Soviet Union-icon.png commies.
    • Nepal-icon.png NepalRawr - Ohio-icon.png OhioRawr's best buddy, cuz' they're both monsters. Despite it looking scary and s***, it's a harmless little buddy unless you piss it off. Then it'll turn into a Gurkha and massacre you single-handedly. I respect it for that, for it's one of the most badass soldiers in Earth-icon.png Earthball! I just recently gave it aid when that earthquake of April 2015 knocked it out.
    • Mongolia-icon.png Genghis Khan - Sided with me during the Iraq War. In the past, it was a Great Conqueror, but unfortunately, it is pretty irrelevant now. But even so, it was an honor to have had its help. Used to rule the commies a long time ago; Mister Mongolia, you have my respect!
    • Costa Rica-icon.png Costa Ricaball - it's the most developed country in Central-America! We also filmed Jurassic Park with it. Thanks for the permission, friend!
    • Bermuda-icon.png Bermudatriangle - One of my parent's territories near me. Also a best friend of Puerto Rico and Florida. It forms the actual Bermuda Triangle.
    • Greenland-icon.png Greenlandball - My suicidal Friend. It has the most suicide deaths ever. Other than that, I have an airbase on Thuleball so that I can bomb the s*** out of the Commies! Though I support you as much as Denmark does. Please don't kill yourself. Try to be like Iceland. BTW Canada, Stay out of its clay! Why is its name GREENLAND? This place is full of ice and snow! I'm freezing here!
    • Vatican-icon.png The religious guy - Pope Francis visited us in September 2015! A lot of us are Catholics, including president Joe Biden-icon.png Joe Biden, former President John F. Kennedy, former first lady Melania Trump and Lady Gaga.
    • Kosovo-icon.png That guy - We freed you. I hope you will join the UN one day!
    • Libya-icon.png Libyaball - I remember that I said that I wanted to remove Gaddafi, but after several years it was killed by its people in a revolution that happened in Libya. But for some reason, its people hate me.
    • Kurdistan-icon.png Iraqi Kurdistanball - Thanks for helping us out in the Iraq War, we're good friends, I guess.
    • Trinidad-icon.png Trinidad and Tobagoball - Good friend. I'll keep it in watch Venezuela-icon.png Venezuelaball though. In return, I gave it some vaccines. However, Nicki Minaj comes from here.
    • 8-icon.png Blacks - Look I'm, sorry for what I did during the slave years, that was old me. The new me back in the 1880's wanted slavery to end but racism to still exist in the south. But in the 1950's I came to my senses and come to see that was messed up, so I removed the racist system. Also that controversy with that one guy who was killed. Yeah. I hope we can improve relations (again). Why are you running undercover KGB operations with the help of Jamaica-icon.png Jamaicaball? We need explanations for this.
    • Russian Rebel-icon.png Russian Rebels - You still don't Like Russia? I wondered why you removed the red off the flag, you ARE anti-war rebels, and for that, I support you!
    • Ukraine-icon.png Ukraineball - What Russia is doing to you is *Begins to cry* It's Just so freaking Heartbreaking to see what Russia has done to you. I tried to sanction him, but it's not gonna save you, I think I need to get you to a hospital and try to get you to feel better, and try to get you more weapons and stuff, I would try to impose a no fly zone over you but * Cries a little more* If I try to do that, that would mean an all out world war. and I don't want that. please try to get thru this, I beg you, I believe in you! Try to win the war! The Russian Rebel-icon.png Russian Rebels also believes in you and does not want a war against you. NATO-icon.png Nato and EU-icon.png EU Also believes in you and has tried to supply you, but please, Try to win! *Cries Dramatically*

    Complicated/Neutral

    • Mexico-icon.png WALL JUMPER - We are neutral because while we are good friends, I'm just tired of it always jumping my border (GET OFF. THE F* CKING. FENCE.) Another neighbor of mine, I get it when we were kids (Thirteen Coloniesball and New Spainball), it is a good friend. Still, sometimes we argue since we have different points of view about some things. Unlike Canada, it constantly criticizes some of my brilliant ideas (like the Iraq War). We have known each other for a long time, but our relationship seems to be somewhat complicated. Anyways, it helped me in some situations (like providing aid to me in the chaotic aftermath of Hurricane Katrina). It, Canada, and I make the "NAFTA Trio." Although I hate it wall-jumping, then again, who else is going to serve me my McDonald's? Your tacos are better
    • Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball - Neutral (ish), again in 1990. It helped me to beat German Empire-icon.pngNazi-icon.png Germany during World War I and World War II. Opponent during Cold War. Somewhat became my frenemy when it turned on its Gorbachev mode since it allowed me to invest McDonald's on its clay. (See enemies list)
    • India-icon.png Curry sibling - It maybe my great trading partner, It doesn't like China, but that's not the problem, IT'S FRIENDS WITH RUSSIA! It actually sent aid to it. keep it up and you will wind up on my enemies list!
    • South Africa-icon.png South Africaball - It's my homie ever since it kicked racism of its life. BUT IT'S FRIENDS WITH RUSSIA! If you also keep it up, you will end up on my enemies list!
    • Iceland-icon.png Robbie Rotten - You're that small island I keep leaving out for some reason. Why do you like Russia-icon.png Russiaball?
    • Haiti-icon.png Haitiball - Recently, I and some other guys gave aid to it after an earthquake destroyed its clay; but Navassa Island-icon.png Navassa Islandball is still mine. They kind of still hate me, though. And holy s*** how did you kidnap some Christianity-icon.png Christians! A Haitian actually founded Chicago-icon.png Chicagoball though, so that's pretty swag.
    • China-icon.png Chinaball - Trading partner. Our leaders met each other, and we became good friends shortly after. But it IS a damn commie, however. ALSO, STOP BULLYING Philippines-icon.png MY child! And I invented the fortune cookies! Not you! But your coronavirus is infecting me. Probably should've worn a mask. and Also, I'm on your side for one thing, The Evergrande Crisis, You'll defunct if Evegrande Collapses, So, I'll try to keep the problem far away from you as possible, Just in case it goes into debt again.
    • Armenia-icon.png Armeniaball - The land of Kardashians! I gave it a nice amount of money to preserve its old churches. A nice number of Armenians live in Glendale. Still, we side on opposite sides in these conflicts so I have to keep my eye on it sometimes. Also, recently, my president, Joe Biden-icon.png Joe Biden recognized this guy's genocide this year.
    • Cuba-icon.png Cubaball - Yeah, no need to explain. It's rather complicated. It hates Trump, though, which is good.
    • Türkiye-icon.png Türkiyeball - We like it in general. We're in NATO-icon.png NATOball. For some reason, the "Accordion Guy" hates it. It does seem to be becoming more pro-Islamic, though. It might need some DEMOCRACY! Recently suffered a coup. Oh, and by the way, can you please stop bombing the Kurds and help me with ISIS-icon.png ISISball? I heard that you're improving relations with EU-icon.png EU and the west which is good. Also you stopped liking Russia? that is also good. Why did the peace talks not work though? It's because Russia IS TOO STUPID! But still, I'm glad you getting to be more of my friend than friends with Russia. It also hates when I call him "Turkey".
    • Cambodia-icon.png Cambodiaball - I met it on my trip to Vietnam. Odd Dude, who suffered several multiple personality disorders. It can into buddies with Chinaball. It is also bitter about the Khmer Rouge thingy.
    • Laos-icon.png Laosball - Southeast Asian Commie and ally of China-icon.png Chinaball! But it likes Geography Now tho so we're good. Maybe you can teach me a little bit of geography? I'm not so good at that stuff
    • Egypt-icon.png Egyptball - It is very famous because of history, pyramids, and mummies. Formerly it's one of our best African buddies but recently went quite insane. We worry about it sometimes, but it is starting to be unreliable as it is becoming buddies with Russiaball. Also, it is supporting Syriaball, which is suspicious.
    • Iraq-icon.png Iraqball - Good job! You removed ISIS, and you are no longer banned from visiting me. But 1991 is unforgivable, and stop being a pussy sometimes.
    • Ethiopia-icon.png Ethiopiaball - They started to hate the sanctions lately. Otherwise, we are pretty good friends nowadays, even though you were a commie. I liked your monarchy, and Soviet-icon.png this guy ruined it.
    • Myanmar-icon.png Myanmarball - Murderous countryball, I thought you would get better when I helped remove the military dictatorship. Still, now you are not, and you are allied with China-icon.png Chinaball and Russia-icon.png Russiaball. I do, however, support you because you are growing to be more democratic. Unfortunately, we both don't adopt the metric system.
    • Vietnam-icon.png Traumatizing rice field - Although it is a commie, we are okay now because Bill Clinton lifted sanction, sorry for Agent Orange as well, BUT DAMMIT! IS SUPPORTS RUSSIA! KEEP IT UP AND YOU WILL END UP ON MY ENEMIES LIST!
    • Serbia-icon.png Accordion Guy - We used to be enemies with this bit of guy due to a guy called Slobodan and was very crazy, but we are good. Its technician had flown its monarchy self's flag on the White House, which was its dream come true, and received help from the Entente and Allies' Help. However, it influences the commie, which I don't appreciate, and that guy is not yours. It stays independent, end of story, Bye Bye, See you later!
    • West Kurdistan-icon.png Rojavaball - I don't know about you, we've helped each other in the past, but it doesn't like me now.
    • Taliban-icon.png Pakistani Talibanball - This is Afghanistan-icon.png Afghanistan but in Pakistan-icon.png Pakistan, I heard that it's trying to take over one of Russia-icon.png Russia's allies, It's not listening to Afghanistan, But It's still a terrorist, It might not be half as bad as Afghan Taliban, and HEY! Two things: 1, At least Pakistanball should had saw it coming. and 2, at least it doesn't like Russiaball either. If you take over Pakistan, can we try to make peace at least?
    • Siberia-icon.png Siberiaball (Not in real life) - This Country (IT NEEDS TO BE A COUNTRY AND NOT A PROVINCE!) Needs some help, It's been stuck inside Russia-icon.png Russia for too long and when it does become an actual country, I might invest in their clay. I hope I can save you, you can be able to be a country someday! I'm might be on your side if you declare independence. then you can get an economic rise, Just like China did in 1978! hopefully the population won't go over 500,000,000 or you will be in big trouble. Maybe the Russian Rebel-icon.png Russian Rebels can help you get independence. I hope we can make peace once you become independent!
    • Amazon Company-icon.png Amazon Company - I'm still mad at it for defuncting my other companies, but I'm happy that it still does not like Russia, It has Suspended Prime Video in Russia, and now it has a donate button to where anyone can donate to help Ukraine. But Still, Why are you and Walmart Enemies? shouldn't you two be setting aside the business rivalry and help Ukraine? It did send millions of dollars to Ukraine which is good. our Relations are complicated since 2015 when Walmart kept closing it's stores and in 2018 Toys "R" Us went bankrupt because of Amazon. But still, Keep helping Ukraine and you might end up on my "friends" list.

    Enemies/Frequent Opponents

    • Russia-icon.png FREAKING MORON - OH, NO OH, HELL NO, NOT AGAIN! YOU ARE STILL TRYING TO INVADE UKRAINE! GODDAMMIT! JUST STOP ATTACKING AND MAKE PEACE WITH UKRAINE! AND NOW, SOME OTHER COUNTRIES ARE NOW SUPPORTING YOU, THEY NEED TO DEFUNCT UNLESS THEY SWITCH SIDES! YOU ARE STILL WORSE THAN AMAZON COMPANY AND NOW YOU ARE WORSE THAN EVERGRANDE, I'M GLAD AMAZON COMPANY STOPPED BUSINESS IN YOUR AREA! AND NOW YOU WANT ALL OF EUROPE! YOU THINK YOU'RE "DENAZIFYING" COUNTRIES THAT ARE DEMOCRATIC WHEN THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN DENAZIFYED, IDIOT AND HYPOCRITE! GODDAMMIT! YOU ARE WORSE THAN THE F***ING CSA-icon.png CSA! YOU'RE AS BAD AS Nazi-icon.png NAZI GERMANY! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I WOULD EVEN THINK YOUR PARENT Soviet Union-icon.png SOVIET UNION WOULD BE BETTER THAN YOU! ALL OF MY COMPANIES INCLUDING AMAZON COMPANY SUSPENDED BUSINESS IN YOUR AREA, I HOPE SANCTIONS TOWARDS YOU DO WORK! AND I ALSO HOPE YOUR ALLIES THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR ARE DOING! COMPLETELY REMOVE VODKA!!
    Russia-icon.png : It's none of your business!! I didn't mean against you! It was the Ukraine who did cause their separatist that they want to Independence plus he offered to join NATO! Plus my crimea is mine due to the Soviet Era! But i don't like it. So that's why i invaded him to teach him a lesson! PLUS don't spread media news about me! IT WILL NEVER HAPPENED!! 
    
    • Siberia-icon.png Siberiaball (IRL) - Sorry, But we still can't become friends because you're inside Russia, sorry. I need to remove vodka parent!
    • Evergrande Crisis - This problem is Still happening in China! It keeps selling stock Just to get money! But that didn't work! Right now it's moving it's Headquarters to Guangzhou-icon.png Guangzhouball hoping that'll make the cost cheaper! You better get back up and try to get money to pay China! USA-icon tangle.png Or Else. USA-icon tangle.png
    • Soviet-icon.png COMMIELAND - OH, YOU ARE THE WORST! I WILL NUKE YOU, I WILL SUCK UP YOUR CITIZENS, I WILL EXECUTE YOU, I WILL ANNEX YOUR LIBERAL COMMIE TOWNS AND BEHEAD PUTIN AND XI! SOON OUR GLORIOUS FREEDOMLAND WILL REIGN! I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A PIG AND MAKE YOU SUFFER LIKE MY HERSHEY SLAVES! BETTER DEAD THAN RE-NO! STOP! PLEASE DON'T LAUNCH ICBMS! PLEASE DON'T MAKE US PAY DEBT! NO! I WILL NEVER PAY DEBT! I WILL FORM ALLIANCE WITH CANADA! Wait, you were making high schoolers SOCIALIST?! THEN I'LL NUKE YOU TOO! ARGH! 1989 NEVER FORGET! I REGRET NOTHING! But thanks for your help in WW2; we were friends when Gorbachev was in office. But never forget that you split Germanyball into two. However, I gave it a coke even though it likes Pepsi more.
    • North Korea-icon.png Nuke country - This guy hates me more than I hate ISIS. I don't know what I did to make it so angry ("totally did nothing"). It's still complaining about the funny movie, but I don't think it's going to stay alive for long. It thinks its nukes can reach my soil, but that won't happen and are strong, but mine are way stronger. It anschlussed me in Red Dawn (2012), Homefront, Homefront: the Revolution, and Modern Combat 3: Fallen Nation but that will never happen in real life MOFO! REMOVE KIM AND HIS UNDEMOCRATIC DYNASTY! SO YOU KILLED ONE OF MY CITIZENS Even though that was its own stupidity that got it killed, EH? AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL GUAM? Okay, THAT'S IT, I'M DECLARING WAR ON YOU! TIME TO UNLEASH the FIRE and FURY ON YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT SOVIET UNIONBALL!
    • SCO-icon.png SCOball - Commie alliance and NATO Haters. REMOVE!
    • Islam-icon.png (Some) Islamballs - this includes Iran-icon.png Iranball, Pakistan-icon.png Pakistanball, Syria-icon.png Syriaball, Iraq-icon.png Iraqball, Palestine-icon.png Palestineball, Taliban-icon.png Afghanistanball, Somalia-icon.png Somaliaball, ISIS-icon.png ISISball, etc. These guys are my #1 enemy because it always try to mess with me through school shootings and bombings and other sorts of terrorism. REMOVE KEBAB! (I think I just looked like a commie guy I know. Crap.)
      • Iran-icon.png Iranball - Some crazy-ass terrorist kebab is threatening me with its missiles! Why did you Launch rockets at my Base in Iraq-icon.png Iraq?!
      • Pakistan-icon.png Pakistanball - PLEASE Stop siding with Russia! You can fight India all you want to because India is siding with Russia too! I NEED YOU TO STOP SIDING WITH RUSSIA AND SIDE WITH ME! I HOPE THE PAKISTANI TALIBAN ACTUALLY TAKE YOU OVER!
      • Syria-icon.png Syriaball - It's still in a civil war and for some reason thinks I'm one of its "enemies."
      • Iraq-icon.png Iraqball (sometimes) - I helped it against this asshole, but it still has second thoughts about me, like a LOT.
      • Palestine-icon.png Palestineball - Some crazy *clears throat* "country" that wants to take my best friend's capital as its own! STOP LAUNCHING ROCKETS AT THEM! AND YOU LAUNCHING ROCKETS AT SYRIA GOT Iran-icon.png IRAN TO LAUNCH ROCKETS AT MY BASE IN Iraq-icon.png IRAQ! JUST STOP ALREADY!
      • Afghanistan-icon.png Afghanistanball - Oh, hey, Afghanist  Wha- HOW?! HOLY CRAP, ALL I DID WAS LEAVE FOR ONE MINUTE! Uh-oh. Afghanistan flashbacks kicking in!, Wait! You Hate Russia?! I think I'll MAYYY (not saying I will) move you to neutral. We also aided them in the Soviet Afghan War a long time ago where it kicked Soviet-icon.png commie ass so hard it went crying back to Moscow-icon.png Moscowball! Hope Russia-icon.png Russiaball never forgets that! Hold on! Russia Banned you from it's country? You know the reason why I moved Russia to my Enemies list, do ya?
      • Somalia-icon.png Somaliaball - Pirates are cool but leave my Somaliland-icon.png adopted sibling alone! There is a reason why I had to intervenine in your commie era!
      • ISIS-icon.png ISISball - Pfft. I can beat you even without trying!
      • Other kebabs - Meh.
    • OAS-icon.png OASball - Goddamn Latinos running the place! it won't give me any authority!
    • Venezuela-icon.png Venezuelaball - f*** YOU, you evil commie or whatever you want to f***ing want to call yourself. You are mean to the smallest Latin American countryballs when they did nothing to you! You can Anschluss me in Call of Duty: Ghosts, but that will never happen f***er. ALSO, THE WHITE HOUSE IS IN WASHINGTON DC, NOT IN NEW YORK, YOU STUPID COMMIE. AND ALSO DO NOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR INFLATION!
    • South Sudan-icon.png South Sudanball - I don't get this guy; I helped it get independence and allow its refugees in, but now it hates me. It even accuses me of pushing regime change, and now it is building closer ties to Russia and China. It also killed one of my journalists!
    • George Soros-icon.png George Soros - Just Get the f**** out of me and Canada-icon.png UK-icon.png Australia-icon.png New Zealand-icon.png NATO-icon.png EU-icon.png France-icon.png Germany-icon.png All of my allies clay, you economic destroyer!!
    • Bolivia-icon.png Boliviaball - Look dude, you cannot be "anti-imperialist" over the loss of a stupid coastline. That's not how anti-imperialist ideas work!
    • Crimea-icon.png Crimeaball - You are Ukrainian and not Russian. Russia-icon.png Russiaball is just an occupier! Even though most of its people are Russian. And you need to stop calling Texas-icon.png Texasball Mexican just because you are really just being some loser!
    • Nicaragua-icon.png Nicaraguaball - Another Commie and Vodka Lover. REMOVE!
    • Majapahit2-icon.png Majapahitball - Some dude with a name I can't pronounce right that stole my flag!
    • German Empire-icon.png German Empireball - I cannot believe that this f***ing idiot sent that telegram to Mexico to try and have it retake my clay. Also, it does not like it when I use shotguns, yet you commit war crimes. But in the beginning, we used to be friends.
    • Reichtangle-icon.png Reichtangle - Stop removing my allies, you idiotic scum!
    • Fiji-icon.png Fijiball - Remove Military Dictatorship! You are the worst pacific island, and stop hating Australiaball! it is also now buying weapons from Russia-icon.png Vodka! But you like my Hawaii-icon.png child, so maybe we can become friends again someday.
    • British Empire-icon.png British Empireball (until some certain time) - F*** you and your expensive taxes. MAYBE IF YOU GAVE IN TO OUR DEMANDS AND LET US HAVE A VOICE IN THE GOVERNMENT INSTEAD OF SILENCING OUR VOICES AND MASSACRING OUR ASSES IN Boston-icon.png BOSTON, I WOULD HAVE STAYED! NEVER FORGET 1812! And tell your Oregon Country-icon.png stupid company TO STOP CLAIMING OREGON! But. (see § Friends § UKball)
    • CSA-icon.png CSAball - OH NO! OH, HELL NO! WHY ARE THERE EVEN MOVEMENTS HONORING YOU, YOU RACIST ASSHOLE! BECAUSE OF YOU, PEOPLE ARE CALLING ME A RACIST, AND BECAUSE OF YOU, MY REPUTATION IS RUINED! YOU CAN RISE UP AGAIN IN ALTERNATIVE FUTURE VIDEOS, BUT THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN! I'VE BURNED YOUR CITIES IN THE PAST, AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN! YOU KILLED MY F***ING PRESIDENT! DO NOT COME THE F*** BACK! USA-icon tangle.png Or Else. USA-icon tangle.png
    • Nazi-icon.png Nazi Germanyball - YOU F***ING DEGENERATE! WHY DID YOU LET JAPAN ATTACK PEARL HARBOR?! ALSO, NOT TO MENTION YOU KILLED 6 MILLION GODDAMN F***ING PEOPLE! AND YOU ARE WORSE THAN EVEN F***ING CSA! AND NOW, FOR SOME REASON, YOUR FLAG IS SHOWING UP IN WHITE NATIONALIST GROUPS IN MY CLAY! EVEN A F***ING East Germany-icon.png COMMIE GERMANY AND Soviet Union-icon.png SOVIET RUSSIA IS BETTER THAN YOU! I'M GLAD HITLER DIED!
    • USC-icon.png United States of Canadaball - It didn't happen. It will never happen. Thank God for that.
    • Brittany-icon.png Brittanyball - Dumb frog people, stealing my flag design. I made it first!
    • Murcia-icon.png Murciaball - Irrelevant part of Mexico's dad that stole my name!
    • PKK-icon.png Turkish Kurdistanball - Terrorist scum. Stop attacking Türkiye-icon.pngKurdistan-icon.png my allies in the region too! USA-icon tangle.png Otherwise. USA-icon tangle.png
    • Eritrea-icon.png Eritreaball - Jesus Christ, calm down, dude. Even I'm afraid of this guy.
    • Zimbabwe-icon.png Zimbabweball - Fix your country and stop blaming me for your inflation you failed 3rd world state.
    • Ukraine-icon.png Nikocado Avocado - This Ukrainian fat boy didn't eat my burgers correctly! GO EAT VEGETABLES, YOU STUPID MUKBANGER!
    • Niger-icon.png Nigerball - Ay, it said the N-word! RACIST!
    • Japanese-Empire-icon.png Evil Japan - YOU! YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR IN HAWAII, AND FOR WHAT?! JUST SO YOU CAN KIDNAP MY Philippines-icon.pngNorthern Mariana Islands-icon.pngGuam-icon.png children?! HAH, I'D BET YOU WOULD LIKE THE TASTE OF MY NUKES! TAKE THAT, SAMURAI!

    Subdivisions

    Map of USAball's stateballs, some territoryballs, and neighboring countryballs.

    States and Territories

    States

    • Alabama-icon.png Alabamaball: "The State Bird is the NASCAR." Well known for rednecks, racists, space camps, and guns. Also, where cruise ships go to die, and it's illegal to salt a railroad track. It's the premier destination to look skinny by comparison. Also, why are you grabbing women's privates? Please stop defending your crimes against girls using religion. That's not how law and order works!
    • Alaska-icon.png Alaskaball: "I have the most land. Beautiful land, and heck, you should see it right now." Bought from Russia before turned into a commie scum where humans and bears are at equal population. Also, 1/5th of our land, half of our snow (aka, seasonal depression), and 2/3rd's of our oil (especially with its brand new oil field). Also, most prepared for a zombie apocalypse, and one of the cities elected a cat as its mayor. Its pizza boxes have targets on the back. But still somewhat free. you get cash in the census just for being alive
    • Arizona-icon.png Arizonaball: "Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out". Where people who like cold weather and guns go to dehydrate and get guns immediately. Largest Navajo population. Also, where no Mexican wants to go near the border. And too many f***ing telescopes. Has my asscrack the grand canyon, but Phoenix sounds about as legit as Jean Grey. Where P.F. Chang's and the most preserved meteor crater comes from. It's great for retirees for folks who think there are too many Cubans in Florida.
    • Arkansas-icon.png Arkansasball: "Great scenery, brilliant people; We have Walmart?" We don't know why it exists other than slave rights. But, of course, it doesn't help that it host a duck calling contest. It makes good yogurt and grows the most rice out of all the states. Evanescence is formed here, Little Rock, to be precise, and Slick Willy came from here. It'sIt's a combination of inbred West Virginians and Southerners. The poorest state of the South, and it also has the most dog owners.
    • California-icon.png Californiaball: "Mexican Boob-Job hippies, who really want to direct!" Where our GMOs, movies, relaxed liberals, and technology are created. And also giant redwoods. Some people think they're geniuses; most believe they are insane. It’s the home of Green Day. It also has the most professional sports teams in the US and is where fortune cookies come from. You had a drought three years ago. It’s Where Americans settle to do porn. What? Are you trying to leave? Don't secede from us, I warn you! Calexit will never happen! Anyways, it is the 2nd most likely to secede, after Texas. So you dropped it because Calexit's leader wanted to live in Siberia-icon.png Siberia. Well, time to poke fun at you for your dumb attempt!
    • Colorado-icon.png Coloradoball: "Snow! I mean Cocaine, but we're also known for skiing." Very nice mountains. Terrible gun control (ahem, remember Columbine). A lot of dunes too. And the Rockies. And gluten-free foods. And who can forget that sweet ass, Mary Jane? KOBE. Home of South Park. Also where the number of ghost towns nearly outnumber the number of living ones.
    • Connecticut-icon.png Connecticutball: "Great schools! Because there's nothing else to do here." The Las Vegas-icon.png Las Vegasball of New England. Currently the 2nd farthest from the free state in New England. (first is Taxachusetts). Nothing bad ever happens here. (except for sandy hook and Bridgeport) and the only state that doesn't have a state fair. It's pretty much a tourist trap state but smarter. The nutmegs are alright, and it's also where lollipops were named (and it's only a 2-hour drive from NYC). Unfortunately, it suffers from pc social justice transgender. Someday I think we should give it back to the British.
    • Delaware-icon.png Delawareball: "Come, we have low corporation fees. No, seriously, please come." Currently on hold for the day it just turned into East Marylandball. Mainly just where department stores dump their merchandise and screen door factories. But it won't have a state tax. As you can see, it'd do anything for more corporations. It also likes to Huck pumpkins the catapults. And it's the only state without national parks. Come on, it only has three counties, from north to south, with populations: New Castle (538,479), Kent (162,310), Sussex (197,145).
    • WashingtonDC-icon.png DCball: "I am the boss here! The leader!" Capital city that wants full representation but can't get it, but still has a spy museum. Also, it stole the thinker statue from Paris-icon.png Parisball. Come at me, "frére!" Some guys want to give its clay back to Maryland, but you know that's not likely.
    • Florida-icon.png Floridaball: "The more north you go, the more south it gets." Home of alligators, citruses, cruise ships, Disney World, crazy spring breaks, greyhound racing, people who eat your face, and the physic capital of Earth-icon.png Earthball. Basically Australia-icon.png Australiaball, but less severe older, and more Cubans. Miami-Parente County even has the largest ethnicity being Cuban. In the end, it's a great place if you enjoy quiet walks on the beach or spend the only good years of your life here. Also, remember the two consecutive days were (first) Christina Grimmie, (then) LGBT members were shot dead in Orlando. PurpleRodri lives in Florida. It is very flat and is home to a lot of lakes. (mainly near Orlando, the home of DisneyWorld)
    • US Georgia-icon.png Georgiaball: "Atlanta! We're kinda ashamed of the rest of it, though." Probably the best state, but unfortunately, it experiences corruption. It's like Missouri, but more south. It's home to Atlanta and more historic Savannah, but the rest is racist rednecks, skinheads, and KKK members. Not the Georgia that was freedommed by Russia-icon.pngAbkhazia-icon.pngSouth Ossetia-icon.pngTransnistria-icon.pngCrimea-icon.png Russia Soviet re mainders. Home of the Walking Dead and Earth-icon.png Earthball's largest poultry convention. And it's doing a favor by keeping Florida out of the rest of the US.
    • Hawaii-icon.png Hawaiiball: "If you lived here, you'd be lazy, too." It used to be our coffee slaves. It was just kinda like, "Hey, can I join?" and the US was just like, "lol kk." Its monarchy was forced to join by some idiots! Wait. it was a republic by the time it united us. Home to the US Pacific Fleet, it is one of the most militarized islands in Earth-icon.png Earthball. Although it treats itself like its own country, I am sorry for taking your freedom away! It's the state where you're least likely to collide with a deer (for obvious reasons) as well as the only rabies-free state.
    • Idaho-icon.png Idahoball: "Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite. Gosh, we're cool." Really f***ing cold and all potatoes. Also, the only state in the Cascades that has virtually no intention to leave. But it's not just spudding; it produces 72 types of precious and semi-precious stones. It passes the time by watching porcupines race. It's also a great place to hide a body.
    • Illinois-icon.png Illinoisball: "Curse? What curse? Curses are made to be broken, not cast upon." Its game is Chicago, corn, deep-dish pizza, mafia, and debt. The official language is American, not English. Now that's a true American.
      • Chicago-icon.png Chicagoball: "Illinois is nothing without me!" The Downstaters want to kick it out, but it just wants to be its capital! My 3rd biggest city people-wise (after NYC and LA). Like cities in Ohio, but not so bankrupt. We filmed the Batman movies here (well, the Dark Knight trilogy anyways).
    • Indiana-icon.png Indianaball: "You have to drive through it to get somewhere better." Where the Indy 500 is. They also made a small fortune off Studebaker in South Bend. Where our Vice President comes from and where all of Illinois's pollution goes. Also, it has no real economy yet produced our first successful goldfish farm. Imagine Applebee's as a state.
    • Iowa-icon.png Iowaball: "56,000 square miles of dull." It is just 56,000 square miles of corn and the highest pig population. And for some reason, there's a 5-minute smooch limit. Guy's capital, Des Moines, and its French-ripoff flag make it look like a legit Frenchman (no, Louisiana is the Frenchman, not you).
    • Kansas-icon.png Kansasball: "White bread, making wheat bread." It's the Centerpiece of 'Murican territory (even though it's mostly farmland). Except for the farmers, are the Civil War almost started here? Used to hate fags until the new pope said it's okay (and us too.) Also, it's home to one of Earth-icon.png Earthball's largest balls of twine to bore your kids with and come home to pizza hut. Making abandoned prairies look beautiful since 1861. Yes, that's where Dorothy and Oz take place in the real world. No, Kansas City belongs to Missouri, though one-third of its metropolitan area belongs to Kansas. Superman was raised here.
    • Kentucky-icon.png Kentuckyball: "Farming from the future, textbooks from 1925." Hillbillies, horses, college basketball, a giant baseball bat, and caves. But it is somewhat scientific. It had the first hand transplant and a scientific method where horses could give birth to zebras.
    • Louisiana-icon.png Louisianaball: "Thanks BP, like we didn't have enough problems." Home of American Frenchies. It's second only to Floridaball in terms of crazy people. Weird voodoo s*** happens here. It has fantastic food, though. Cajun okra and gambling are coming to the state (we put up a golden nugget in Lake Charles as a possible sin city). Also, the most singles out of all stateballs and the international joke-telling contest.
    • Maine-icon.png Maineball: "I love fishing and swimming in the ocean, eh?" It's pretty cool. They eat lobsters and aren’t afraid of anything. It's mainly the fishing and swimming hole of the USA, and its beaches are mainly giant boulders. Can't get there from 'ere, bud. It has the oldest population and produced most of our toothpicks until 2003. It's also where most Stephen King books are set because. why?
    • Maryland-icon.png Marylandball: "Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around." The PO box capital of Earth-icon.png Earthball. It narrowly avoided becoming Southwest Pennsylvania. BUT LEARN TO DRIVE, YOU BONEHEAD! Sorry, I get mad sometimes. The rest of Maryland is very fancy, like Newport and the only state where the main sport is jousting.
    • Massachusetts-icon.png Massachusettsball: "Our chief exports are tea, seafood, and obnoxious sports fans." The state where the revolution began and also where any sense of American enthusiasm ended. They also invented basketball and like staring at birds. It taxes everything, literally. And Harvard, the spirit of America my ass! But on the plus side, it doesn't need red lobster since it's at seafood waters. Home to the top 3 most Irish towns and also where packaged frozen foods were invented.
    • Michigan-icon.png Michigancube: "Cereal and serial." A lot of nice people, and Detroit's no longer bankrupt. (but a lot of shootings and still in the dumps). And Eminem. Also, you're never more than six miles from a lake in that state.
      • Yooper-icon.png Yooperball: "Mitä? I'm not Michigan's clay! Perkele!" Also known as Superiorball and Ontonagonball. It is like Finlandball, which is good if the commies invade the north and Canada collapses. Six of its counties have the largest reported ethnicity as Finnish. What about Alaska?
    • Minnesota-icon.png Minnesotaball: "Too nice not to elect douchebag governors." Likes to go up north to the cabin in the summer and play hockey in the winter. (most normal when it comes to season). Also, my largest mall (but not for too much longer). And most golfers per capital plus, its state flower can last as long as 100 years (probably longer than most countryballs can last).
    • Mississippi-icon.png Mississippiball: "We're gonna need a bigger Bible Belt." It is very redneck; probably even worse than Alabama on this front. It's the state that sleeps with everybody. It has plenty of catfish, crayfish, and okra. It's also the most obese state and where we first sold shoes in pairs.
    • Missouri-icon.png Missouriball: "We're number one. In meth." Home of St. Louis, Kansas City, a huge arch, crystal meth, and civil unrest. I'm worried about it. It's remarkably unremarkable.
    • Montana-icon.png Montanaball: "Speed limits don't matter when you're drunk." Nothing bad ever happens there. (Virtually) NOTHING ever happens here. Plus, any type of animal with antlers outnumbers humans. Also, this is where letter bombs come from.
    • Nebraska-icon.png Nebraskaball:" Footballs, drawls, and overalls." Most homes with indoor plumbing. Also, Omaha-icon.png Omahaball, but who gives a f***? Also, this is where Arbor Day and Earth Day began. It's like Kansas, except the corn farmers are on drugs.
    • Nevada-icon.png Nevadaball: "No laws, no problem! Well, except for all the murders." Home of Area 51, Las Vegas-icon.png Las Vegasball (home of the Pawn Stars), prostitution, and organized crime. In other words, great. 6-icon.png UFOs crash here and the biggest shrimp consumers.
    • NewHampshire-icon.png New Hampshireball: "Half hippie, half French, all upper-class." The closest state to libertarian and the most unrestricted state in New England. It includes New England's highest point. Also where state lotteries, public libraries, and legal gay marriage began. You could say there are beatniks and also, where the first potato was planted in me.
    • NewJersey-icon.png New Jerseyball: "GTL Guidos, turnpikes, leeching off New York." And to think it's the first to ratify our Bill of Rights. Its only purpose is to be made fun of. It doesn’t help that it has the largest pipe organ ever built. And it's shockingly liberal. The only thing good there is Atlantic City for geezers to gamble and Monopoly. It is my most densely populated state (WashingtonDC-icon.pngPhiladelphia-icon.pngChicago-icon.pngNYC-icon.png but not for long). But on the plus side, it has some decent beaches (at least the syringe-free ones) and good tomatoes. I don't call it the Garden State for nothing, and it's also got the most diners in me.
    • NewMexico-icon.png New Mexicoball: "Like regular Mexico but with more UFOs." The title says it all. A lot of Navajos, and my highest spic population. And that Jew Yankovic made a song about its capital. Home of our first nuclear testing.
    • New York-icon.png New Yorkball: "Where the most astronauts come from." Mostly rural, besides the City, Albany, and Buffalo. And the state's less than 1% covered in piss and trash. The beautiful Niagara Falls is located upstate, but the Canada part is the better half. Seinfeld and Friends happened here. Also, the first producers of packaged toilet paper.
      • NYC-icon.png New York Cityball: "World's fourteenth largest city, but first in largest egos." It's a concrete jungle where dreams are made of! Because of it, that other countryballs think that I am egocentric. Unlike Chicago, NYC actually "wants" to leave New York. Only city not developed from a single county (There are five in total: NYC-icon.png Manhattanball, Brooklynball-icon.png Brooklynball, Queens-icon.png Queensball, Bronx-icon.png The Bronxball, and Staten Island-icon.png Staten Islandball!). Also, this is where most of the fighting takes place. Most of the superheroes and around half of the supervillains in Marvel came from (If so, why is Marvel's depiction of NYC in such a good shape, better than the actual you?). Hey child, did I ever tell you when the mayor tried to sell the city back to the Indians?
        • NYC-icon.png Manhattanball: "The Great Borough." It has everything that makes NYC-icon.png New York Cityball famous and important, having famous parks, landmarks, and attractions like the Statue of Liberty, Broadway, Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building, Central Park, The Bronx Zoo, Grand Central Terminal, and, Coney Island, what makes it important?. its financial-ness having one of the most financial districts being called the financial district really unoriginal .
        • Brooklynball-icon.png Brooklynball: "Home of the Brooklyn nets and Prospect park." The most populous out of the boroughballs and most importantly credit cards were invented in its clay so thank it for that. also has the most "romantic" ride in Earth-icon.png Earthball but Kentucky-icon.png Kentuckyball has a more romantic one.
        • Queens-icon.png Queensball: "Airport Central." Home to the New York Mets Baseball team. Is the largest of the boroughballs having the only airports of NYC-icon.png New York Cityball unless you count the Newark Aiport to be apart of New York City, then it has 2/3 of the airports.
        • Bronx-icon.png The Bronxball: "The 2nd Best Zoo" The Bronx has the most crime, poverty, and violence than the other boroughballs but is home to the Yankee Stadium as well as the 2nd best zoo "The Bronx Zoo" sorry kid. At the current moment The Bronxball is poor but getting heavily invested so expect some heavy development in The Bronx across the decades exactly like Harlemball.
        • Staten Island-icon.png Staten Islandball: "Fair Old Richmond." Best place to buy a home and is the closet boroughball to NewJersey-icon.png New Jerseyball, anyways shouldn't you be part of NewJersey-icon.png New Jerseyball? Why are you even part of NYC-icon.png New York Cityball?
    • NorthCarolina-icon.png North Carolinaball: "First in flight and in lung cancer." It is South Carolina's less corrupt and higher-elevated sibling. First in universities, but 48th in education, next to Alabama and West Virginia, and most in furniture (not press board either). Your largest city and county are named after King George III's wife (Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz). Yet, ironically, Mecklenburg County was the first to declare independence on May 20, 1775. Decent move, child. You and Texasball must change your flags because Chileball is mad at me.
    • NorthDakota-icon.png North Dakotaball: "We are better than South Dakota." A very long drive from wherever you live. It's just kind of there. Also has many freedoms for staying out of politics for so long. Plus, where Fargo is (I love the movie). The lesser Dakota. But still, all the best license plates haven't been taken; yet, you can still take some while you can. And uh. well, the countryball's largest genitalia. It's like Canada, but without free healthcare.
    • Ohio-icon.png OhioRawr: "People care about me at election time. OHIO STRONK!" Half child, half pet. Fascinatingly cold. We don't know how it survives up there. Also created the NFL (well, sort of), A whole lot of corn. s***, it's the most f***ing likely to f***ing curse, dicks. Home of the only person who was both a senator and an astronaut, John Glenn.
    • Oklahoma-icon.png Oklahomaball: "Ten days tornado free." Also known as North Texas. Home of EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TORNADO! (Well, almost, Texas still holds the title). Along with it being home to the 2nd most Native Americans after that Texas. Still, it made the Louisiana purchase cheaper because of all the rednecks and tornadoes.
    • Oregon-icon.png Oregonball: "Dreadlocks on Caucasians." It likes to claim it has more freedoms (due to where the pioneers came to); in reality, California's toxins just got to its head (and the other state with the wacky tobaccy). But it still has some green energy the last government gave me. But for some reason, it won't let you pump your gas. It contains the most strip clubs per capita.
    • Pennsylvania-icon.png Pennsylvaniaball: "Even our Amish will fight you." It's the home of the former capital city, Philadelphia. Don't forget about the steel that came from Pittsburgh. Hall n' Oates is from here. Donald Trump was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris. Wait, no, Pittsburgh voted for Clinton.
      • Philadelphia-icon.png Philadelphiaball: "Yo! Adrian!" Most of Pennsylvania's culture and money comes from here. It's torn on the issue of becoming a state of its own, like Chicagoball, but some are grateful and want it to be a state, like New York Cityball.
    • PuertoRico-icon.png Puerto Ricoball: "That's what happens when your loans are all over the place." It will probably become the 51st state, but DC jumps the gun too much. Voted to be the 51st state again lately. Full of Latin Americans who call us gringos. Too many loans. Honestly. It also made the hit song "Despacito," surpassing South Korea-icon.png South Koreaball's "Gangnam Style." I'm proud of you, child. Papa loves you.
    • RhodeIsland-icon.png Rhode Islandball: "No, seriously! We're a state!" Not really an island. Also liberal and dinky. It has oysters too. Home of Family Guy and most weed smokers. Great if you like coffee milk. Last of the original thirteen states who ratified the Constitution, yet asked for 21 amendments! The full name is "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations." The state's like a miniature New Jersey but much better, and it gets freedom points for having no car inspecting.
    • SouthCarolina-icon.png South Carolinaball: "Still accepting Confederate dollars." The only state in the South that can keep its head (although there was a shooting). It's the home of baptist churches, Confederate flags, and historical towns, the safest places in the state. Also created a dance and a candy bar in the same city. And it's still a little racist, yet it is the most polite state. Recently, it's been dealing with people who send contraband into the prison with drones.
    • SouthDakota-icon.png South Dakotaball: "At least we're not the north side." Like India, cattle outnumber people 4 to 1. It has the mountain with our four former (and best) presidents of the past and petrified wood. Not Rapid. Sioux Falls sounds as though a particular Benson family screwed the city up.
    • Tennessee-icon.png Tennesseeball: "Where white people's music comes from. Jack Daniels is from here. Country music as f***, literally. Where bluegrass music originated. Frequently on fire. And Evil Dead took place here! Also, the capital is buried between its walls.
    • Texas-icon.png Texasball: "Everything's bigger, especially our championships." We send our astronauts to space here (Houston, also the fourth largest city in the US.). It has the largest metropolis in the entire South, the DFW. And is it my fault that I always get you mixed up with Chile-icon.png Chileball? JUST CHANGE YOUR FLAG. Gosh. But did Crimea-icon.png Crimeaball call you Mexican, that sore b****.
    • Utah-icon.png Utahball: "Multiple homeland wives." Home of those people who come up to your door and talk to you about Jesus (basically Mitt Romney). Suppose I even Balkanize (pfft, right!). In that case, it'll always be the Holy State of Deseret (Really, Utah is the sacred ground for Mormons). The biggest Jell-O consumers.
    • Vermont-icon.png Vermontball: "Gay marriages on maple syrup farms." Home of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, craft brew, and maple syrup. What's that nail of Quebec (the northern parts of Grand Isle County) doing in your territory? Its capital surprisingly doesn't have a McDonald's (for now). The only non-founding state (and fourteenth overall) that ratified the Constitution. It has a state capital population of 7,855 and the largest city population of 42,452. Both values are the smallest values of any state. WTF is wrong with you?
    • Virginia-icon.png Virginiaball: "From the center of civilization to Hicksville in twenty minutes flat." When you stop seeing Howard Johnson's and start seeing Stucky's, you know you're in Virginia-icon.png Virginiaball. It likes football. It is also covered in trees. The northern area sucks ass, though. Its only notable place is Hampton Roads-icon.png Hampton Roadsball, and it has the most vanity license plates. Where most of our presidents come from. It's 42,000 square miles of DC suburbs, it can't shut the f*** up about Washington, and it has the most prominent military shipyards in Norfolk. Guy's also awesomely weird, with every city administered separately from its nearby counties.
    • Washington-icon.png Washingtonball: "Richer hippies than Oregon." Never to be confused with the capital or the president. Home of Microsoft. And grunge. And Starbucks. And the Seahawks. Shucks, it's the least likely state to gosh darn curse. Also, where parents' day began. They're also a fan of soccer. It is also home to Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates, the richest billionaires in the country. WAIT! Jeff Bezos and Amazon Company is trying to Defunct Walmart?! I WONDERED WHY MY WALMART STORES KEEP CLOSING! REMOVE AMAZON!
    • West Virginia-icon.png West Virginiaball: "The inbred love child of Virginia and DC." It got football, basketball, incest, matches, bestiality, rigged voting machines, and of course country roads, miners, and mountaineers. It's pretty much the countryball's mental asylum. Home of parents day. The least supportive state to the Paris Accords (50-55% support), yet still a majority, though. Wrong direction, Donald Trump. Your views don't represent anyone state, only one-third of conservative Republicans.
    • Wisconsin-icon.png Wisconsinball: "It's too cold to be sober." Cheese hats, Miller, and Schlitz too. This state goes for the gusto. Slender Man Stabbings? What Slender Man? And the hamburger hall of fame.
    • Wyoming-icon.png Wyomingball: "We don't have any gay cowboys, alright?" Least populated state. Practically nobody lives here, give or take 586,107. Nobody cares about Cheyenneball (the ethnicity, not really; your state capital, definitely). It all cares about Yellowstone and its catastrophic supervolcano! The state's so empty you could put its entire population in three NASCAR stadiums.

    Territories

    USAball with some of its territoryballs.
    • American Samoa-icon.png American Samoaball: "0-31 territory Too obscure, even compared to the independent Samoa." You've probably never heard of it. Last untouched paradise in the South Pacific Ocean. Birthplace of Troy Palalamu. Lives a day behind its sibling Samoa-icon.png Samoaball.
    • Baker Island-icon.png Baker Islandball: "Inhabitable WW2 Cook Island." Nope, no bakers and pastries found here. It must be the place of Mr. Krabs, though, because its flag has a crab in it.
    • Guam-icon.png Guamball: "Latte stone pillars? What the hell is that?" Also, once Russian territory. The only place in America alongside the Mariana Islands that North Korea has any hope of touching. Wait a minute, is that a jellyfish on your head?! PUT IT DOWN! Damn it, Guam, it is not a toy! It looks like North Korea is threatening it. Don't worry, little guy; I’ll protect you!
    • Howland Island-icon.png Howland Islandball: "A lighthouse of a wasteland." That eroding island with a collapsed building. No use at all, but still fun to have. Amelia Earheart was rumored to have landed here (but it disappeared), so we have a lighthouse named after it.
    • Jarvis Island-icon.png Jarvis Islandball: "Coral? Island? Or both?" Iron Man's chest landed here. Nah, I was just kidding. It's just the name.
    • Johnstoll Atoll-icon.png Johnston Atollball: "Atoll with a base. Scary?" Abandoned military base in the Pacific. I store my agent orange here. It's only a lighthouse now.
    • Kingman Reef-icon.png Kingman Reefball: "Even lesser than an atoll." Hmm, Show MoreShow Fewermust be where Poseidon lives. It has a population of one young coconut seed.
    • Midway Atoll-icon.png Midway Atollball: "Midway between Asia and Hawaii." Site of a famous World War II battle: My carriers vs. Kamikaze's carriers and I sank all its!
    • Navassa Island-icon.png Navassa Islandball: "The only contested clay of USA-icon.png USAball." Empty island where we have radar and an empty lighthouse in. Claimed by Haitiball, but just in case, right?
    • Northern Mariana Islands-icon.png Northern Mariana Islandsball: "The Mariana Trench should be somewhere near here." Guam's sibling in the north. It chose to join me politically, good boy child. Good boy.
    • Okinawa-icon.png Okinawaball: "Fought hard in 1945." Part of me since 1950. Do you want to apply for statehood? I'll guarantee you more protection alongside Japanball.
    • Palmyra Atoll-icon.png Palmyra Atollball: "There can only be two Palmyras." Nope, not the one ISIS-icon.png ISISball destroyed in Syria-icon.png Syriaball (that's not even an atoll, just the Palmyra ruins). Originally part of Hawaii when it was still a territory.
    • VirginIslands-icon.png Virgin Islandsball: "It hasn't got laid!" My poor child, you're doomed. And where a famous basketball player was born. Want to be a state? Be a part of Puerto Rico first! Also, this is as close you will ever get to South America without a passport.
    • Wake Island-icon.png Wake Islandball: "The wake-up call of my day." Naval base. Off-limits to civilians! Where America's day begins.
    • US Antarctica-icon.png Marie Byrdball: "Definitely colder than Alaska." Soon-to-be-made claim on Antarctica-icon.png Antarcticaball because I have the right to do so. (Wait, . f***.). Obviously. f*** your claims, guys. Let's try to see if I can claim Marie Byrd Landball before Russia can.

    Trivia

    • Minimum driving age is 16 years old in USAball. This explains why teenagers can drive in American movies. Americans start driving earlier than other countries (usually, people can start driving at 18 years old).
    • Alcoholics can only drink once they're 21 years old. Usually, in other countryballs, the age to drink alcohol is 18 years old, so in theory, not in practice, Americans start to drink later.
    • Social media only after 13 years old in the country since 2000 (same as UK-icon.png UKball). This is why most social media platforms have a minimum age for the use of their services. In the EU-icon.png EU, minimum social media age is 16 due to GDPR.
    • It is prohibited to drink alcohol on the streets and other open public places.
    • The driver's license is valid permanently only in the state where the driver resides.
    • Americans are very punctual and schedule the beginning and end of appointments.
    • Americans do not eat lunch during working hours; they have a snack. In USAball, people tend to take shorter lunch breaks than workers in other countries.
    • Many foreigners who watch American movies think there are simply no rules for wearing school uniforms in the country. However, this is not 100% true. Private schools across the country require uniforms. However, public schools in USA-icon.png USAball do not require uniforms, although many have dress codes that regulate student attire.
    • Yank is used as a nickname for Americans in several countries. However, within the USAball, a Yank is just an American from New England-icon.png New Englandball.
    • USAball created various musical rhythms, but its favorite is country music (which only it and Canada-icon.png Canadaball hear).
    • It always wears its sunglasses.
    • The character doesn't have an exact gender (like all the characters in the Polandball universe). Its name is a singular neutral noun in one of the countryball's native languages (English-icon.png English). In English, countries don't have gender.
    • The current national personifications of the USA are Uncle Sam (a man), Lady Liberty (a woman, the Statue of Liberty), and Columbia (a woman).
    • In Romance languages like Spanish-icon.png Spanish and French-icon.png French, the noun United States (Estados Unidos in Spanish; États-Unis in French) is a plural masculine (♂) noun, and America is a singular feminine noun (♀). This also happens in Slavic languages as Russia-icon.png Russian, where the most used name to the country is Soyedinyonnyye Shtaty (United States), a plural masculine (♂) noun.
    • In Romance and Slavic languages, the country is more referred to as United States than America (América in Spanish and Amérique in French is used more to refer to the American continent, North and South America, and rarely to refer to the USA).
    • In the English language, "United States" was a plural noun until the end of the 19th century. Then, around 1890, English speakers started to consider the noun "United States" as a singular noun.
    • In Chinese-icon.png Chinese, the US is known as 美国 (Měiguó), literally "beautiful country." It comes from the second Chinese character (Hanzi) of the transliteration of America as "亚美利加" (Yàměilìjiā). As with the English language, countries have no gender in the Chinese language.
    • It hates Nazi-icon.png Nazism and Soviet-icon.png Communism.
    • USA-icon.png USAball had announced that in June 2021, it would declassify all the information known about UFOs now.
    • It has become an emerging country only after its Civil War.
    • It only became a great power after the First World War. It was only after this war that European countryballs and Japan-icon.png Japanball began to treat it as an important country.
    • It became a superpower only after World War II.
    • It loves junk food. A great example is its taste for hamburgers, hot dogs, fried chicken, etc.
    • Many American buildings do not have the number 13 on the elevator and floors.
    • The tipping culture is powerful, especially in taxis and restaurants.
    • Every American produces more than 2 kilos of garbage daily.
    • The most popular fruit among Americans is the banana.
    • More than 10 billion donuts are consumed annually in the USAball's clay.
    • It spends 1/3 of its annual budget on its army and nuclear weapons.
    • Its favorite sports are American football (NFL), baseball (MLB), and basketball (NBA). Ice Hockey (NHL) is prevalent only in regions with frigid and harsh winters. There is also a soccer (association football) league in the country, the MLS. Other popular sports in the USA are tennis, golf, boxing, wrestling (WWE), volleyball, motorsports (NASCAR, Formula Indy).
    • The NFL was founded in the 1920s, but it only surpassed college football in popularity in the late 1950s
    • MLB was founded in the 1900s, but the league only rose in popularity in the 1920s and 1930s and became a true national league in the 1950s.
    • NBA was founded in the 1940s but only became popular in the mid-1980s.
    • NHL was founded in the 1910s but only expanded to places with hot climates at the end of the 1960s
    • MLS was founded in the 1990s and is increasing in popularity in USA-icon.png USAball in recent years. Soccer in the USA is the third-most played team sport, behind only basketball and American football, and the fourth most popular sport, behind American football, basketball, and baseball.
    • MLS is not the first soccer league in the US; it is the third. The first was ASL (founded in the 1920s), which went bankrupt during the Great Depression in the 1930s; the second was NASL (founded in the 1960s), which went bankrupt in the 1980s due to financial mismanagement.
    • In soccer (association football), it hosted the 2016 Centennial Cup America and three times Earth-icon.png Earthball Cups (1994 for men, and 1999 and 2003 for women). It will host the FIFA World Cup alongside Canada and Mexico in 2026 (in the year of its 250th anniversary).
    • Have the best women's soccer team globally, being the only country that has won four women's world cups (1991, 1999, 2015, and 2019).
    • The highest point is Mount McKinley, Alaska, at 6,194 meters high.
    • New York (then called New Amsterdam) was purchased for US$24.00.
    • Taxes are charged separately from products and services.
    • New York was the first American capital between 1785 and 1790.
    • The Statue of Liberty was a gift from France-icon.png Franceball in 1886.
    • USA-icon.png USAball created the internet. It was initially called ARPAnet.
    • It challenged Japan-icon.png Japanball to a battle of Mechas; it is not yet known when the battle will be. However, from experience, Japanball will probably win.
    • Its favorite superheroes are Captain America and Superman.
    • The countryball's universities occupy 14 of the 20 positions among the best in Earth-icon.png Earthball.
    • It is the country that has won the most medals at the Summer Olympic Games.
    • It will host the 2028 Olympic Games, in Los Angeles-icon.png Los Angelesball.
    • The celebration of Christmas was prohibited in the country until the year 1832.
    • The Global Positioning System (GPS) is American-owned.
    • USAball is the 3rd largest countryball in Earth-icon.png Earthball in terms of land area, but USAball, being the selfish being that it is, counts its territorial area for its land area to pass up China-icon.png Chinaball. But otherwise second place Canada-icon.png Canadaball also counts their territorial areas too, so USA is truly third, and the order goes like this: Russia-icon.png Russiaball, China-icon.png Chinaball, USA-icon.png USAball, then Canada-icon.png Canadaball. It is (truthfully) 3rd in population, only losing to India-icon.png Indiaball and China-icon.png stupid commieland Chinaball.
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