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|“||For having a pretty massive population and a ton of resources, California is not doing much here. We're kind of an embarrassment to the U.S. Oh, but that’s our specialty.||”|
|“||California girls, We're unforgettable
Daisy dukes, Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin, So hot,
We'll melt your popsicle
Ooh oh ooh, Ooh oh ooh!
California girls, We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock
West coast represent, Now put your hands up
Ooh oh ooh, Ooh oh ooh!
|”|Commiefornia The caliphate of Californiaball is Hotel Californiaball the land of the caliphs and where a big caliphate was established a stateball located on the west coast of USAball. Californiaball can create some of the best movies the world has ever seen. It's finding itself "a tiny bit" flooded. After "Drumpf's" (Californiaball's way of calling Trump) fake surprising win, despite California picking Hillary (or in some cases, Bernie) to win, a small radical part of Californiaball wants independence, and so does Cascadiaball and New Englandball because they don't want a conservative home of AMBER ALERT cases right-wing president, like "Drumpf". But if it were an independent countryball, it would be among the G20, and have economies only smaller than its parent, Chinaball, Japanball, and Germanyball. It passed UKball in May 2018, and it'd be just ahead of Franceball (hon hon hon), Indiaball, Italyball, and Brazilball (hue hue hue!).
History[edit | edit source]
The clay of Californiaball was once populated and born by 3balls (Native Americans), but it wasn't until 1781 where New Spainball had un hijo, Californiaball. Then, Californiaball was then
kidnapped adopted by Mexicoball. One day, it broke off in a fight with Mexicoball and got its own independencia with the help of USAball. Then, it joined USAball, but it took a long war with Mexicoball before it agreed. It thought its sibling Texasball's star flag was pretty cool, so Californiaball put a star on its flag to reference it.
In 1849, gold was discovered on its clay, and other stateballs have been jealous of it ever since. 3balls were quickly driven away as other balls from all around scrambled for pretty yellow rocks. Throughout its history, it has been plagued with earthquakes, its clay is divided by San Andreas fault and smaller faults. This has been into destroying its cityballs all throughout history. it is home to many different races, mostly Mexicoballs and any Chinaballs, and likes to boast that practically every countryball has immigrants here. Used to pretty much just be full of cowboys and missionaries for a long time, until immigrants from Germanyball infected it with the hippies. Ever since then, it has been into a quiet civil war between old cowboys and new hippies for control of the state. For the reasons mentioned above, it has a bit of a split personality.
As well, its northern and southern halves are basically hatings of each other, and its central valley area (that is still full of cowboys) is about as conservative and independence-wanting as Texasball. It may one day split into as many as six smaller stateballs, just like Texasball can into being five stateballs. Making matters worse is the fact that its habit of making golf courses and growing crops in the desert finally caught up with it, causing a severe water shortage during an ongoing drought. Yet it is too stubborn to change its ways. ("Hey man, it's either that or avocadoes can't be grown here.") In 2016, with Massachusettsball and Nevadaball, it finally can into weed. California has really high taxes, for income over $1,000,000 it's 13.3%, and the state sales tax of 7.25% is the nation's highest. And in 2016, in addition to voting for Hillary by 62%, California also voted to raise the income tax to the level by same percentage. Californiaball can into very Democratic, and it is very proud of that.
Relations[edit | edit source]
Friends[edit | edit source]
- All other 3balls - Relatives. Plz accept the reservations I have ceded for yuo.
- Nevadaball - Mi hermano favorito. The silver to my gold. I'm keeping gambling illegal on myself so that people have a reason to visit it.
- Oregonball - Foster sibling. It has lots of rain. Share with me pls!! I'm hella thirsty. Oh wait, never mind. I'm getting more rain now.
- Hawaiiball - Pacific sibling surround by water. Many Hawaiiballs live in me. Dammit, I'm so jealous of you!! Everyone goes to my cities and then goes straight to you!
Are you asking me to Anschluss you?!?But I can't because you're too adorable and kind!! GAAAHHH!!!
- Delawareball - YAYYY, WE WON!!!! FUCK YOU, TRUMP!
- Floridaball - One of the only red states I like, it is a good relative, unlike Cowboy loser. But sometimes, it's a jealous older sibling who wants to have better theme parks and beaches than me. Unlike me, always experiencing droughts, it is experiencing the opposite instead.
- Georgiaball - Although we have been friends for a while, we just recently been closer friends now that it turned blue! We both have large film industries and share some things in common. Some of my people are migrating to its clay. It is a pro-Islamic state, and I really don't mind it. However, STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH THE ENEMIES!!! I will give you a pass with Ruski and even Nicaraguaball, but the rest... I don't approve! Besides that, it really likes my object shows, especially Inanimate Insanity! Also, don't get me wrong; I adore Saudi Arabiaball, too, but I'M THE ONE DRYING UP OVER HERE! Since you are now part of our liberalness, I will do all of my power to protect you from the Conservative redneck! Thank you for making The Squad Piper Rockelle!
- Massachusettsball - Fellow ultraliberal, but how are you bluer than me?! Is that even possible?? Well, congrats!
I'm still smarter than yuo tho.Also HAH I BEAT YOU IN THE 2022 FINALS SO SUCK IT!
- Louisianaball - I don't know why it likes me, to be honest. I am a bit weary about it because it is also friends with a bunch of dumbasses. But it does have New Orleansball and some good fried food. Also, we have a common friend.
- Washingtonball - Friendly tech rivals. Has lots of rain too. Fellow liberal just like me.
- Vermontball - Fellow liberal.
- Albertaball - My Western Canadian sibling
- Baja Californiaball and Baja California Surball - My other siblings, stayed with Mexico when I left. (One day, my siblings, one day....)
- Jaliscoball, Nayaritball, and Queretaroball - Other Mexican siblings
- Cataloniaball - Spanish sibling
- San Salvador Departmentball - Salvadoran sibling
- South Koreaball, Chungcheongnam-doball, and Jeju-doball - many Koreans in my clay
- Armeniaball - I have a lot of Armenians in my clay; sadly, you get bullied by that ***hole.
- Australiaball and New South Walesball - Relative and cousin who have a lot in common with Texasball. They wear silly hats, have funny accents, have very big egos, etc. It gave awful birthday presents of eucalyptus tree infestation, and no koalas to keep their numbers down.
- Bremenball - German version of the city of San Francisco.
- Hamburgball - Los Angeles' German version, They have studios and ports.
- Lower Saxonyball - My German version, we sure do look alike.
- Philippinesball - Technically, we are siblings because USAball is our parent. It is good friends with Hawaiiball, so we are good friends, too! Many Filipinos visit my clay (in fact, more than 1 million!).
- South Vietnamball - A lot of its people came to me in order to escape from commie.
- Spainball - Old grandparent
- UKball - New grandparent; plox tell Texas to shut up at Christmas was parent like this?
outdated monarchy, CANCEL IT
Neutral[edit | edit source]
- USAball - My new parent. It is making so many stupid decisions while I do my best to shield my people from them. Not sure if I should declare independence or help it get over its problem. I guess I'll stay with it for another year
- Mexicoball - My biological parent and former independence war enemy. I quite feel bad for you since an idiot, who is trying to keep you away, doesn't know the damage done. Also, I want Baja and me to be independent. *sighs*
- Arizonaball - Younger sibling. My very hot and dry desert. Come if you want the sea. Pretty conservative hombre, but NOT ANYMORE. I successfully turned it into a progressive liberal, like how it should've always been...
stop revolting from progressive rule or I will cancel yuo idiot.
- New Mexicoball - Older sibling with a poor economy and ignorant. If you keep with breaking bad and not La jauria, I'll cancel you.
- New Yorkball - My biggest Northeastern sibling. It is liberal and progressive like me. THE ONE THING I DON'T LIKE IS WHY YOU GAVE BIRTH TO THE S***TIEST PRESIDENT!
- Marylandball - Another ultralib that hates Drumpf, but your stupid panhandle bothers me. Could you give it to polluter?
I don't know about your eastern shore, maybe you could nuke it.
- Canadaball - A very large uncle, but I have more money and population anyway. It's kinda weird that it supposedly "exists" or something like that, even though it's pretty nice, and I hold the most Canadian immigrants in the USA! (Though my population is bigger than some countries)
- Saudi Arabiaball - It is a good friend of my parent, but STOP STEALING MY WATER!!!
- Vietnamball - It likes me, but I hate it. People from real Vietnamball come to my clay after the Vietnam War. But ty for calling me the best U.S. stateball. Complicated relationships.
- Virginiaball - He became my friend when he turned blue, but he still is a southerner and is infected with Trumpian red spots. I hope he will get better.
WHAT IS THIS? HOW DARE YOU TRAITOR! YUO USED TO BE COOL! CHANGE YOUR MIND NEXT TIME OR ELSE!!!!!
- Kansasball - Eh, I'm not the biggest fan of him, but I do feel bad for him ever since the 1850s.
- Connecticutball - REMOVE GILMORE GIRLS! AND THE D'AMELIO'S!!! Although you are liberal too.
Enemies[edit | edit source]
- Texasball - MY WORST ENEMY! YUO ARE A RACIST PIECE OF CRAP WHO HATES PROGRESSIVISM! REMOVE COWBOYS, I DESERVE TO BE THE FASTEST GROWING STATE, NOT YOU! BUT ALSO, ENJOY BEING A LIBERAL SOON!
ARIZONABALL WAS FIRST; YOU'RE NEXT!Oh, I said Idahoball was next already. Okay, BUT YOU'RE NEXT NEXT!
- Coloradoball - It has mountains (my Mount Whitney is still 65 feet higher than its Mount Elbert, hehehe), and is a moderate between me and Texasball. It constantly complains when I visit its clay, bring my ultra-liberal politics there and drive up its house prices. However, we both can into stoned, though.
- Wyomingball - FOR THE LAST TIME YOU DON'T EXIST AND THAT'S FINAL! NO ELECTORAL VOTES FOR YUO!!
- OhioRawr - WARRIORS ARE THE BEST!! REMOVE CAVS!!
- Idahoball - YOU BECOME ME, TURN BLUE!
Arizonaball was first; you are next!
- West Virginiaball - STUPID TRUMPTARD POLLUTING SCUM!!! REMOVE COAL! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TURN JUST ONE OF YOUR DAMN COUNTIES BLUE??!!!
- Oklahomaball - ANOTHER ALL-RED TRUMP PUPPET!
(or Trumpet, hehehehe.)I THINK I'M GONNA PUKE; I HOPE THOSE INLAND HURRICANES ANSCHLUSS YUO!
Gallery[edit | edit source]
| California |
||Anaheimball • Bakersfieldball • Chula Vistaball • Fresnoball • Long Beachball • Los Angelesball • Oaklandball • Riversideball • San Brunoball • San Diegoball • San Franciscoball • San Joseball • Weedball|
|Former Entities||Alta Californiaball • Argentine Montereyball • California Republicball • First Mexican Empireball|
| Separatist |
|Africa||Afarball • Anjouanball • Azawadball • Barotselandball • Cabindaball • Canary Islandsball • Casamanceball • Darfurball • Gambelaball • Logoneball • Mayotteball • Mombasaball • Ogadeniaball • Oromiaball • Réunionball • Somalilandball • Southern Cameroonsball • Western Saharaball|
|North America||Albertaball • Cascadiaball • Californiaball • CSAball • Greenlandball • Lakotahball • Nevisball • Puerto Ricoball • Quebecball • Texasball|
|South America||French Guianaball • Magallanesball • Mapucheball • Riograndenseball • San Andrés, Providencia and Santa Catalinaball • Tarijaball • Sulball • São Pauloball|
|Asia||Abkhaziaball • Acehball • Artsakhball • Bangabhumiball • Chittagong Hill Tractsball • Hokkaidoball • Hong Kongball • Inner Mongoliaball • Javakhetiball • Kachin Stateball • Karakalpakstanball • Kashmirball • Kokangball • Kurdistanball ( Turkish Kurdistanball • Rojavaball • Iranian Kurdistanball • Iraqi Kurdistanball) • Nagalandball • Palestineball • Pattaniball • Rakhine Stateball • South Azerbaijanball • South Malukuball • South Ossetiaball • South Yemenball • Taiwanball/Republic of Taiwanball • Tamil Eelamball • Tibetball • Tripuraball • Uyghurball|
|Europe||Ålandball • Basqueball • Cataloniaball • Cornwallball • Corsicaball • East Frisiaball • Faroe Islandsball • Flandersball • Frisiaball • Gagauziaball • Galiciaball • Kareliaball • Kosovoball • Normandyball • North Kosovoball • Northern Cyprusball • Novorossiyaball ( Donetskball • Luhanskball) • Occitaniaball • Republika Srpskaball • Roussillonball • Sandžakball • Sardiniaball • Scotlandball • Shetlandball • Sicilyball • Schleswigball • Silesiaball • South Tyrolball • Szekelylandball • Transnistriaball • Vojvodinaball • Walesball • Walloniaball|
|Oceania||Bougainvilleball • Easter Islandball • French Polynesiaball • Hawaiiball • Maoriball • New Caledoniaball • Niueball • Norfolk Islandball • West Papuaball|
All together now: GIB INDEPENDENCE!!!