This article may be too long to read and navigate comfortably.
|“||A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.||”|
|“||Rule, Britannia, Britannia shall rule the waves!||”|
|“||Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.||”|
|“||British people may seem charming and quaint on the surface, but don't be fooled. They are extremely dangerous||”|
|“||And when peace comes, remember it will be for us, the children of today, to make the world of tomorrow a better and happier place.||”|
The United Kingdomball,
also known as Royalball Englandball (Great) Britainball, officially known as TERF Island the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Irelandball, is a problem maker sovereign countryball taking up most of the Western European archipelago known as the British isles. They are made up of three combined constituent countryballs and one provinceball, with the latter sharing a border with Irelandball, giving them an area of (93,600 sq mi). Its capital and largest city is Londonball. United Kingdomball is the fourth most populous island nation after Indonesiaball, Japanball, and Philippinesball, and the most populous island nation that isn't from Asia.
While not only a member of NATO and the United Nations, they also work for the G20 (Group of Twenty), a club that has the world's 19 largest economies plus the EUball. This also applies to G7, which they work alongside USAball, Canadaball, Germanyball, Italyball, Franceball, and Japanball.
UKball is often seen as a former superpower on the world stage and a crumbling old man. The British Empire was the largest empire in all of human history. Even today, they still have significant influence, as they are the leading 'soft power' and runs their own organisation of nearly all of their former colonies
along with Portuguese Mozambiqueball, Belgian Rwandaball and French Togoball and Gabonball for some reason called the Commonwealth and is a permanent member of the UN Security Council. Though the empire has dissolved, they love to remember that they once dominated 25% of the world, which is how they coined the phrase Rule Britannia! (Britannia is their Latin name).
UKball's birthday is the 1st of May, as they were formed via the Act of Union, but they don't have an official national or indipendance day. they give them.
Very long ago, Englandball was born as a Germanicball, and and Scotlandball was born as a Celticball. There were many Celticballs, such as Iceniball, and they built things like Stonehenge and lived in stone, wooden or wattle-and-daub (mud) roundhouses.
The SPQRball arrived in 46 AD from continental Europe, having taken over their sister Gaulball (the parent of Franceball). By 59 AD, Iceniball was getting tired of SPQRball's despotism, and launched a rebellion with all the other Celticballs against the SPQRball, winning a few times.
However, the SPQRball's superior tactics and weaponry saw it triumph in the end; after that, the SPQRball used more gentle methods to civilise the Celticballs and introduced Roman ways. They founded the City of Londinium and introduced coins, laws and other things from Rome, making the Celticball's home into the Roman province of Britannia.
SPQRball somehow grew weak and corrupt as the years went by. By 410 AD, it had been defeated in battles by the barbarian Germanics, who sacked Rome numerous times in the 5th century AD and took much of its clay. SPQRball withdrew from Britannia and returned to Rome, where it died in 476 AD.
Once again, the Celticballs entered a dark age without civilisation. Pictsballs from Scotlandball tried to invade, having proven Hadrian's Wall was no match for them, and Walesball was also getting uppity.
In the 7th century AD, though, Saxonballs, Jutesballs, and Angleballs (descendants of the Germanicballs) from Germanyball migrated across the North Sea to Britain, and set up their homes there, becoming Anglo-Saxonballs, and naming the land 'Angle-Land' (or, England).
They lived in peace for about a hundred years, building dykes in Walesball and forming the Kingdom of Merciaball until the Vikings from Scandinavia arrived and found the Angleballs' monasteries easy targets for raids.
They kept harassing the various kingdoms of Saxonballs, such as Kingdom of Wessexball, who took advantage of its alliance with Neustriaball in Franciaball and its technical progress and who held back the Vikings, forming Kingdom of Englandball.
By 1016, however, Denmarkball had become ruler of Englandball. Its rule lasted until the mid 11th century when Englandball became independent when Saxonball was chosen to succeed the throne in 1042 due to Vikingball's absence. Saxonball ruled until 1066, defeating the Vikingballs for one last time at Stanford Bridge, before being killed by Normandyball, who invaded in 1066, at the Battle of Hastings.
After 1066, Normandyball set about stamping out all resistance to its rule in Englandball. It defeated some rebels at the Battle of Ely Island and also conquered places like Sicilyball. It compiled the first modern census of Englandball, the Doomsday Book in 1087. It bought French influence to Englandball, who had Germanic roots. Meanwhile, the Celtic Scotlandball was ruling himself.
In 1140, a civil war broke out in Englandball's head. Its brief period of madness ended in the 1150s, and it returned to building castles such as Windsor across its clay. However, it was frail at this point, even though the Vikingballs had stopped their raiding parties there.
They succeeded the first time, then went back to fighting each other until the mid 13th century when another series of crusades were called. This time, it didn't go so well, and the Muslims defeated the European Christianballs.
Englandball and Franceball also fought each other occasionally, with Franceball occupying London once and Englandball invading continental France. The Celtic Walesball was conquered by it in 1282. It also fought with its northern Celtic neighbour Scotlandball eternal ally of Franceball, occupying its clay, until Scotlandball rose against it in 1297, with the battle of Stirling Bridge being decisive, and humiliating them. However, Englandball triumphed in the end, and Scotlandball was demoted to the status of secondary power.
In 1301, another brief civil war started, but soon, Englandball was over it and invaded and raided its rival clay once more, beginning the Hundred Years' War with it in 1337. It defeated it with Walesball's help at Crecy in 1347. Poitiers in 1356, refusing the loyal fights of the French knights to kill them at a distance, humiliating Franceball again as its ally Burgundyball marched in to help occupy Parisball.
In the 1380s, however, a long civil war broke out in Englandball's clay, just as the Black Death was sweeping through Europe. Nevertheless, by the 15th century, it had written great works of literature, such as the Canterbury tales, which would survive the Dark Ages.
It had also occupied a lot of Ireland, defeating the local Ulsterballs. Then, in 1415, despite failing to take Mont-Saint-Micheal, it won its most decisive battle with Franceball at Agincourt, letting the French knights sink into the mud and killing them away, as before.
Franceball, however, had a trick up its sleeve, and managed to defeat it at Orleansball in 1429, and enter Parisball. However, its luck ran out at the end of 1430, and Burgundyball captured the secret to its success in 1431 and sold it to Englandball who burned it as witchcraft.
However, Franceball who loved its new game to crush the English soldiers, built new regiments of powder artillery to fight at a distance (as preferred Englandball with its archery) and recovered all its clay in a few seasons (except Calais city) by 1453. Understanding that Englandball will never learn to cook correctly and prefers Bordeauxball's wine to it, Burgundyball had abandoned it like a dirty sock towards the end of the Hundred Years' War, crystallising a painful feeling of cultural inferiority for Englandball towards Kingdom of Franceball.
A last attempt to land in Franceball, terminated pitiably by a reception of french artillery and a charge of the Breton chivalry at Formigny in Normandyball (1450), and, three years later another crush in Castillon near Bordeauxball identically. The Hundred Years' War was, in fact, over. A kind of cold war begun between Burgundyball and Franceball who both passed to Renaissance but Englandball stayed neutral.
In the 1470s, it experienced a long period of fear called the Wars of the Roses, which saw its agrarian infrastructure mostly destroyed in battles across the countryside. By 1480, however, the Whites had won the Wars. But in 1485, Walesball contributed to helping kick out the Whites in Englandball's brain and established a new Welsh dynasty in Englandball's clay that year.
Exploration and Expansion (1485 – 1603)
By 1500, Englandball had advanced a lot. However, it was still far behind many other European countries, in particular those in italyball and Franceball who had begun the Renaissance, and Spainball, with its massive golden New World empire. It employed the best European things in its court, like music and the arts, but also continued its wars against Scotlandball in 1513, and Franceball in 1518, but briefly reconciled with its rival at the Field of the Cloth of Gold in 1520, after being athletically and culturally humiliated by its strange French king. The latter didn't kill all the queens it had as it was funny for Englandball. Both rivals went back to fighting each other in 1545 when Englandball betrayed Franceball again and lost its last territories in the continent (Calais city).
it had also abandoned Catholicism in 1536/7 and sacked the monasteries that year, adopting Protestant Anglicanism as its official religion now. Also, it was going through internal turmoil in the 1550s, having developed a passion for burning and beheading. It harshly ruled its slave Irelandball (Kingdom of). It sent ships to explore the New World in 1565, with Virginia being claimed by it. It also had a few religious changes over these years.
Meanwhile, Scotland was going through turmoil as well. In the 1570s, it tried to take over Englandball's clay by assassinating it but was caught and imprisoned until 1587. Englandball also began building himself a navy, as Spainball launched its Imperial Armada at it in 1588. However, a storm came, and the invasion didn't succeed and Englandball launched its armada to it too, but Spainball destroyed all of it. In the 1590s and 1600s, it wrote 37 classic plays. Walesball's turn to rule Englandball's clay ended in 1603, and Scotlandball took over running things, uniting the crowns of England and Scotland (monarchy, not politically yet).
In 1605, some Catholics, who had been working for the Spanish, tried to blow up Englandball's parliament. Their plot, however, failed, and in 1620, some of Englandball's most devout religious parts went to its new colonies in the New World on board a ship called the Mayflower. However, things steadily got worse in Englandball's head as tensions escalated into another Civil War in 1642, with Parliamentarian rebels victorious at Marston Moor in 1644. The Battle of Naseby, in 1645, won the war for them. By 1647, the English Civil War had turned against the Royalists, and in 1649, Englandball executed its crown and declared himself a commonwealth (a type of republic). It colonised Jamaicaball in the 1650s and banned Christmas celebrations. However, despite the Second Civil War briefly instigated by Scotland in 1651 (who lost at the Battle of Worcester), it took until 1660 for the Commonwealth to fall. That year, Englandball had a personality change and became a monarchy again, albeit a constitutional one this time.
Englandball started forming alliances with European countries, after seeing Franceball expand eastwards in the 1670s and 1680s. It had a plague in 1665, followed by a fire in 1666, followed by an invasion of its clay by Dutchballs in 1667. So, it partook in the Nine Years War against Franceball. It became Catholic again in 1685 but then became protestant again in 1688, after its ' Glorious Revolution' that year. It fought a brief (civil) war in Irelandball's clay in 1688 – 1691 but ultimately stayed Protestant after that. In the 1690s, Scotland tried to colonise Panama. Still, the Darien Scheme failed, taking 1/5th of Scotlandball's economy down with it.
England, however, was having a much better time, having made scientific and artistic advances throughout the late 17th century. It discovered calculus and gravity in the 1660s and 1670s, and by 1700, it was one of the world's great powers. The War of the Spanish Succession in 1700 saw it in a giant coalition that won the war in 1704 against Franceball and Spainball who was in a civil war to impose the French Bourbon dynasty. Even without succeeding in penetrating Franceball's clay, the coalition prevented the fusion of the two catholic balls and their giant colonial empires.
In 1714, the newly-formed UK embraced its Germanic roots again and joined in a semi-monarchic union with Duchy of Hanoverball. By now, it had lots of islands in the Caribbean which it had won in various wars and exterminating some natives, as well as Gibraltarball was taken from Spainball in 1709. Large possessions were stretching from the Atlantic to the Appalachian Mountains in North America. Its child Thirteen Coloniesball looked after those for it. In 1715 UKball put down a Catholic uprising by a pro-Jacobite Scotlandball, this happened again in 1745.
By the 1730s, UKball had started to explore India as Portugalball and Franceball ever did and had already conquered many Indian stateballs/rawrs' clay. It had also invented a semi-automated loom called the 'Spinning Jenny' in 1733, and by the mid/late-18th century, UKball was beginning to build large factories powered by a new invention of its, the steam engine, invented in 1765, which began the Industrial Revolution in Britain. It had set up the East India Company, which started a world international trading system, in competition with the dutch and the French one, as well as participating in the War of the Austrian Succession in 1744-1748. It was massacred by Franceball at the Battle of Fontenoy with all its coalition but got its revenge a few years later in the Seven Years' War (1754/56 – 1763).
UKball and its child Thirteen Coloniesball helped defeat Franceball's child New Franceball in the New World, deporting the French people of Acadiaball, kidnapping Quebec in the process, and also kicked Franceball out of India, apart from Pondicherry and later Chandernagnore, when Franceball was busy against Prussiaball in Europe, despite several defeats against the New-France's army and its native allies. By 1763, the battered Franceball sued for peace, losing almost all of its North American possessions to UKball. The war had cost it a lot, however, and UKball began imposing taxes on its child Thirteen Coloniesball to make it help pay for the war. UKball later repealed most of the acts, including the 1765 Stamp Act and the 1766 Quartering Act. Still, when it struck out at its child in 1770's Boston Massacre, tensions arose between parent and child.
Thirteen Coloniesball dumped all of its parent's East India Company tea into Boston Harbour in 1773, causing UKball to impose an armed curfew in its child's clay. In 1774, UKball declared its child's little sibling Massachusettsball to be in a 'state of rebellion and went over-armed. By 1775, the American Revolution/Civil War started. UKball and Thirteen Coloniesball had clashed at Bunker Hill, Lexington, and Concord. An angry Thirteen Coloniesball, in 1776 wrote the Declaration of Independence, declared itself independent and called itself USAball. Meanwhile, UKball discovered and claimed Australiaball's clay and New Zealandball's clay for itself.
Throughout 1777, USAball was defeated by its stronger parent. Still, as aid from its aunt Franceball came trickling in, it was able to defeat it at Saratoga Heights that year, and Franceball, desiring revenge against its rival, came to help actively in 1778, doubling the forces of the rebel army and paralysing the navy of UKball. Spainball and Dutch Republicball also came to help USAball with material giving. By 1781, UKball had been cornered at Yorktown. It surrendered to Franceball and USAball, signing the Treaty of Parisball in 1783 to end the war of American Independence. It had been badly humiliated by its child and had to give up the Ohio Territory to it as well. But, it soon had more important things to worry about, as in 1789, its rival, the bankrupt Kingdom of Franceball, had its Revolution, and became a constitutional monarchy, then a republic.
UKball and the other conservative, monarchist European empires formed a new giant coalition against Franceball, who defeated them in 1792, and again in 1794/5. It made a puppet state out of Dutch Republicball, attacked Papal Statesball in 1797 and tried to disrupt UKball's trade with its colonies in 1798 by landing in Egypt. However, UKball blew up its ships at Aboukir Bay, also known as the Battle of the Nile. It was forced to abandon the plans after building a new organisation in Egypt to withdraw it from English and Turkish influence. In 1800, UKball sent a fleet to Denmark-Norwayball, and Swedenball's clays, to persuade them not to enter the Northern League with Russian Empireball, which succeeded. It annexed Irelandball's clay in 1801 as well. UKball paid a new coalition (the Third one) who was defeated again by Franceball and ended in 1802 with the Peace Treaty of Amiens. However, UKball refused to leave Cape Colony to Batavian Republicball, and war resumed with its sister in 1805. It defeated it at Cape St. Vincent, then annihilated its navy at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805, escaping from an immediate invasion, winning control of the high seas. At the same time, it sent a new coalition of Austrian Empireball and Russian Empireball to bash its on the continent but Franceball crushed it in the battle of Ulm, and after taking Viennaball, in Austerlitz. Denmark-Norwayball, having been attacked by UKball, joined Franceball in 1807/9, and by 1811 Franceball, after having kicked all the successive coalitions, ruled most of Europe. Meanwhile, UKball had its child British North Americaball (now Canadaball) burn down USAball's White House in 1814 during the war of 1812, due to a fight between the two siblings.
But then Franceball invaded Imperial Russiaball's clay in late-1812, winning at Borodino, but was forced to retreat from a burning Moscow when it was sick. It was defeated by the Sixth Coalition in 1813 at the Battle of Leipzig, and by June 1814, the Coalition forces were moving in on Paris; UKball had landed in Portugalball's clay (its ally since 1386) and helped Spainball kick out Franceball and Napoleonic (Kingdom of) Spainball, its child, there in the Peninsular Wars (1808-1814). Franceball sent its Bonapartist instincts to Elba, but they escaped, and in mid-1815, returned to Franceball's clay.
The Hundred Days Campaign, or the War of the Seventh Coalition, saw Kingdom of Prussiaball defeated at Les Quatre Bras by an instantly resurrected french Grande Armée, before the gathered Prussiaball's army, UKball and Dutch Republicball stepped in to help it at the Battle of Waterloo, where Franceball was defeated for good. Its Bonapartist instincts sent to UKball's estranged child St Helenaball's clay, where they died in 1821. UKball and Austrian Empireball set up the Congress of Vienna to decide on the terms of the Treaty of Paris and the Treaty of Kiel as well, sharing a new Europe in Great Empires to control Franceball.
After the reduction of the liberal Franceball, UKball emerged as the world superpower. It now had a massive overseas empire and billions of pounds' worth in industrial and economic revenue. Some Corn Laws were introduced in 1816, during the famines of the Regency period, and saw the 1819 Peterloo massacre become a black mark on UKball's name. However, by 1825 UKball was once again on top of the world for real. It began a policy of abolitionism (anti-slavery) and was the first to abolish the slave trade in 1807. Ukball freed its 8ball slaves in 1833. It now took on weak nations such as NepalRawr, Bhutanball and Tringapore to expand its Empire, and pushed the Boers in South Africa out of the Cape Colony and Beyond the Zambeze rivers. Tasmania was also colonised, and the native Australian Aboriginalsball hunted down almost to extinction (as well as them being killed by diseases like Smallpox and Measles). It also intervened in the Rio de la Plataball to create Uruguayball in 1825.
However, Indiaball soon put UKball's status to the test, as in 1839, its most profitable colony, India, experienced troubles with the Afghanballs to the North-West. The East India Company's opium trade with Qing Chinaball had also just been cut off. Ukball beat up Qing China for Hong Kongball in 1841/2. It was no longer affiliated with Hanoverball, as in 1838, the royal union had been dissolved due to Hanoverball's Salic Laws. In 1843, UKball invaded Gwalioreball's clay in India and began annexing the Indian State Rawrs. Punjabball was annexed formally in 1849, and the Xhosaballs in the Natal in South Africa were warred against too. UKball's cities grew and grew in the mid-19th century, as the Industrial Revolution attracted migration to London. However, Irelandball's potato famine in 1845 caused discontent in its mind. The Maori signed the Treaty of Waitangi with it in 1840, though, which made it happy.
During this time, Franceball, who understood that it had to be discreet on the European chessboard, began the building of a new giant empire in Asia, the Pacific Ocean and Africa and strengthened its industrial strength with new inventions, returning to the race when countryballs thought they eradicated it. UKball signed pacts and treaties with its old enemies Franceball and USAball, giving it Caribou (the city) in the 1842 Webster-Ashburton Treaty.
However, right after hosting the Great Exhibition of 1851, it went to war with Franceball and Sardiniaball against Russian Empireball, who was being aggressive towards the declining Ottoman Empireball. Despite a stunning victory under the French commandment at Sevastopol in Crimea, UKball suffered a bad defeat due to a military blunder at the Battle of Balaclava, in 1854, when it charged Russian artillery on horseback and received quite a spanking. By 1856, after Russiaball had planned another Baltic expedition, the Treaty of Paris was signed to end the Crimean War, which had seen war photography and nursing hospitals introduced to war. UKball was soon again called to arms the following year when its Indian servants mutinied. It had to step in to resolve the Indian mutiny of 1857-8, after which it annexed Awadhball's clay. The 1856 Arrow Incident also gave it an excuse to go to war with Qing Chinaball again, with Franceball, in 1860, when it burned down Qing Chinaball's Summer Palace, and got Kowloon for its adopted child Hong Kongball.
UKball also built a large sewer system at home after the Great Stink of 1858 and introduced labour and welfare laws, including pensions, in the 1850s and 1860s. It did not interfere with USAball's Civil War and instead made inventions like photography, steamships and discovered Darwinian evolution. By 1871, however, the balance of power was dramatically shifted when two newly-unified nations appeared on the world stage - italyball and German Empireball. With the help of UKball, France finished it's Suez Canal project on the Egyptian Khedivateball to get quick access to their colonies in asia. As demands for Home Rule from the Irish and Scottish grew, it ignored them. It fought the Zulu Wars of 1878-79 and the First Boer War of 1881 for the Empire. However, after an Egyptian campaign in 1882, UKball participated in the Berlin Conference, and during the Scramble for Africa, forcibly adopted many new African balls, such as Sokotoball, and Rhodesiaball. It got Cyprusball in 1878 following an incident with Ottoman Empireball.
In 1885, it led a campaign in Canada, and in 1892 formed the Labour party at home, after the Ripper murders of 1888. In 1890, it traded Heligolandball to Germanyball for custody of Zanzibarball, with whom it fought a 38-minute war within 1896. It got machine guns and rifles for its new armies and fought the Mahdist Sudanballs at Omdurman in 1898, then Orangjeball and Transvaalball in the Second Boer War of 1899-1902. It also helped relieve the 1900 Siege of Peking. Still, it was humiliated by the Boers at the Battle of Ladysmith and the Siege of Mafeking in 1900. The Siege of Khartoum in 1898 also helped resolve the Fashoda crisis with its sister.
The new century dawned with UKball at the apex of its power, the largest, most powerful, and by far the wealthiest Empire known in history. It sent an expedition to Tibet in 1903. It formed an Entente Cordiale with its former rival Franceball in 1904, and then with Russian Empireball in 1907, against the ever-growing threat of German Empireball, who was now engaged in a naval arms race with UKball over Dreadnoughts. The 1905 and 1911 Morocco crises drew the Entente closer together. Despite a 1902 Venezuelan dispute, UKball continued to maintain excellent relations with USAball. As the disillusioned working class, suffragettes, Scotlandball and Irelandball demanded Home Rule, all contributed towards the fractioning of Edwardian Britain, Serbiaball's assassination of Austria-Hungaryball's archduke led to the alliances of Europe dragging UKball and its associates into the Great War in 1914.
The Great War, the Jazz Age, and Another War (1914 – 1945)
The German Empireball activated its Schlieffen Plan in August 1914 and raped Belgiumball and Luxembourgball, whom UKball was bound by the 1839 Treaty of London to protect. So, UKball went to war, and landed in Franceball's clay, blocking German Empireball in the Race to the Sea, and ultimately ended up in the trenches with Canadaball, Australiaball, and New Zealandball against German Empireball. Around Christmas time in the same year, it and Germanyball had a brief truce. Their soldiers exchanged gifts, played games, but the most important game of all was their first-ever football game. Then in 1915, saw the use of planes for both reconnaissance and bombing, airships, and poison gas in warfare. It got its children Canadaball, Australiaball, and New Zealandball to land in Ottoman Empireball's Gallipoli peninsula, but they were held back at Suvla Bay for a few months. Meanwhile, Egyptball, UKball's adoptive child, invaded Ottoman Palestine and got the oppressed Arabballs to help revolt against Ottoman Empireball in exchange for freedom and self-determination after the war. However, UKball and Franceball's 1917 Sykes-Picot Agreement made sure that it did not happen. UKball and Franceball also captured German Empireball's other overseas colonies, such as German South-West Africaball, German East Africaball, German New Guineaball, and fought with it in the Falklands, and in the Indian Ocean. UKball's ally Japanball helped take Kiau Chau and German Samoaball.
By 1916, the war on the Western Front had reached a stalemate, and Franceball's Neuve-Chapelle offensive failed to break through. UKball fought at Jutland and introduced with Franceball tanks at the Battle of the Somme. Still, the stalemate continued. In April 1916, Irelandball hosted an uprising in Dublin; UKball failed to crush it. In March 1917, the DORA Act was enforced strictly, and Russian Empireball had a revolution and became a republic, but remained in the war until October, when it had another revolution. USAball, however, was sent the intercepted Zimmermann telegram by German Empireball to Mexicoball, and joined the Allies as a result. By March 1918, USAball had arrived in Europe, and Germanyball, after signing the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk, charged the Western Front in a last-desperate attack, which failed. German Empireball signed the armistice at 11:11 a.m., 11 November 1918, after seeing its allies surrender and starving due to UKball's naval blockade.
The following year, the 1919 Paris Peace Conference saw UKball and Franceball divide up German Empireball's colonies- UKball got German East Africaball, German New Guineaball, and its child South Africaball got German South-West Africaball. It also got Palestinecube, Transjordanball, and Iraqball from the Ottoman Empireball's clays. UKball and its sister carved up the German Empireball's clay in Europe as well- its child, Weimar Republicball, inherited an impoverished nation of strife and turmoil, as UKball demanded reparations of £6.6 billion. Despite the reparations, UKball still suffered from post-war austerity for the first few years of the 1920s, including being forced to concede defeat in Ireland in 1922, and giving Irelandball its freedom, as Irish Free Stateball (it kept Northern Irelandball), but it also discovered Tutankhamen's tomb in Egyptball's clay, as well as giving women the vote. League of Nationsball had just been created, of which UKball was a founding member. It now turned to its child USAball for entertainment and took home things like cocktails and the Charleston. Despite a General Strike in 1926, the Empire and Homeland did well until the global financial crash of 1929.
UKball, with its stock market plummeting, decided to listen to the Labour party in its head- it cut spending costs to the bone and adopted a policy of 'Britain's problems first' in response to the growing threat of Nazi Germanyball and Imperial Japanball abroad. In 1931, the Statute of Westminster gave its children Canadaball, Newfoundlandball, South Africaball, Australiaball, and New Zealandball de facto independence. British Rajball was also getting stroppy for independence. In 1935 it failed to help defend Abyssiniaball against the Fascist italyball, and did nothing to stop Nazi Germanyball from remilitarising the Rhineland in 1936, then Anschluss Austriaball in 1938. After Nazi Germanyball kidnapped Czechoslovakiaball, UKball and Franceball signed the Munich Agreement with Nazi Germanyball. But just as the 1933 Four Powers Pact and the 1935 Stresa Front had failed, this agreement was overstepped by Nazi Germanyball in January 1939 when it annexed Czechoslovakiaball's clay. UKball began remilitarising, and in September 1939 declared war on Nazi Germanyball after it invaded Polandball's clay.
UKball and Franceball did nothing but wait behind the Maginot Line as Nazi Germanyball blitzkrieged through Polandball, Denmarkball, Norwayball (UKball did try to intervene here, but failed at Narvik), Netherlandsball, Belgiumball (again), and Luxembourgball. Franceball's clay was invaded in June 1940. It built a defensive line in a kamikaze operation in Dunkirk. It sacrificed some troops to cause enormous damages to german forces before surrendering and let intact UKball's army clear out to continue the war. UKball jumped in Englandball after being raped by Nazi Germanyball, who then began a battle for air supremacy with UKball's RAF against its weakened by Franceball Luftwaffe in the skies. After Franceball was divided between Free Franceball (fighting with Englandball) and Vichy Franceball (beginning a collaboration with the enemy) Nazi Germanyball then switched to trying to bomb UKball into submission. UKball survived the blitz and began assembling convoys to help protect merchant and supply shipping from its child, sending supplies to it from across the Atlantic. It was helpless as Nazi Germanyball sunk some of its best ships and took out its naval base at Crete, but was able to decipher its Enigma codes from mid-1941 onwards, thanks to Bletchley Park.
After Nazi Germanyball's invasion of Soviet Unionball in June 1941, and Imperial Japanball's bombing of USAball's Pearl harbor naval base, UKball gained two major allies in the war. The following days saw Imperial Japanball attack UKball's colonies in SouthEast Asia and South Pacific, such as British Hong Kongball, Malayaball, Crown Colony of Sarawakball, British North Borneoball, British Solomon Islandsball, British New Guineaball, British Nauruball and British Tringapore, which was poorly protected from land- Japan just rode a bike through the dense jungle. By mid-1942, British Burmaball had also fallen, as had New Guineaball, and Australiaball's clay was being bombed. After the Battle of the Coral Sea, the tide began to turn for the ANZAC forces. Meanwhile, UKball was diverting food away from British Indiaball to help sustain the war effort, causing famine for British Indiaball. After Free Franceball slowed the german and italian advance down at the defensive battle of Bir Hakeim in North Africa, UKball defeated Nazi Germanyball at the second battle of El Alamein, and with USAball's help drove Nazi Germanyball back into Sicily, which was invaded in early 1943.
Meanwhile, the battle of Imphal halted Japanball's rampage in South-Eastern Asia, and as the Allies pushed up italyball's clay, italyball had a personality change and became non-fascist after the 25 Luglio coup. italian Socialist Republicball continued fighting the Allies though, who landed in Monte Cassio, then in the South of Franceball's clay in Operation Dragoon. On the morning of 6th June 1944, USAball, UKball, and Canadaball literally stormed five beaches in Normandy, liberating Caen, then allowed Free Franceball to take Parisball back in September 1944. Instantly, Free Franceball resurrected a strong army as it did in 1815 to give a decisive boost to the strikes on the western front. UKball and Co. pushed on into the Ardennes, winning the Battle of the Bulge, and surviving the V-1 and V-2 rocket assaults, and liberating the Low Countries, pushing onwards into the heartland of Nazi Germanyball itself. UKball's RAF bombed Nazi Germanyball's cities even more heavily than it had been, vapourising Dresden and Hamburg. As the allies closed in on Berlin in February to April of 1945, Nazi Germanyball committed suicide, ending the war in Europe with the surrender on 8 May 1945 (V-E Day). Imperial Japanball surrendered a few months later, on 3 September 1945 (V-J Day), after two atom bombs had been dropped on its cities by its child, ending the Second World War altogether. Their British colonies in Southeast Asia and the South Pacific have been restored by it.
After the Wars - Reconstruction, Cold War, Thatcherism
After World War II, UKball was broke, but it wanted to take advantage of its current troop position. It tried to keep Syriaball and Lebanonball's clay who were under Franceball's protection but gave up fighting its ally, having already suffered damage on its part in Senegalball's clay during the war and knowing the risks. The billion-dollar debt to USAball had to be paid back in full, and there was the cost of re-building. However, the colonies were now demanding their self-determination. In 1947, following a proposed partition plan by the newly-created UNball, the successor to League of Nationsball, of which UKball was a permanent Security Council member, Indiaball (and Pakistanball, and Bangladeshball) all became independent. Malayaball followed with a communist insurgency in 1948, and Palestine went to the UN, only to be partitioned with the Jewcubes who had survived the Holocaust that year too (although the peacefulness of this partition is debatable) and independence was also granted to Burmaball. Canadaball absorbed Newfoundlandball in 1949, just as a new Cold War era was looming over the horizon. With USAball and Sovietball both now possessing weapons of mass destruction, UKball was no longer a true superpower. Unlike its rival, rather than fight costly colonial wars, it just let its colonies go. Gold Coastball left in 1958, Nigeriaball in 1959, Egyptball kicked UKball out of its clay following the 1956 Suez Crisis, and Sudanball did so after the condominium of 1898 expired in 1958, Kenyaball and Tanzaniaball in 1961/2, Rhodesiaballs in the early 1960s, Gambiaball and Sierra Leoneball in 1962, and Adenball in 1959. Cyprusball left in 1960, but UKball kept two military bases on the island. It fought in Korea in 1950-53 as well.
In the 1970s, UKball developed punk rock. Despite the oil crisis of 1973 and the power shortages during the 1978-79 winter of discontent, UKball's resolve stood firm. It embraced Thatcherism in 1979, despite Scotlandball's renewed calls for independence, rejecting its 1979 referendum, and using its oil (from the McCrone report). The SNP was not pleased, and in 1982, when Argentinaball tried to invade Falklandsball's clay, the now workaholic UKball went to war sending a large naval Task Force (assembled in Portsmouthball, a cityball of UKball), winning over Argentinaball decisively. Its Thatcherism saw the mines closed and the stock markets crisis, apart from in 1987, when Black Monday hit. By 1989, as the Iron Curtain fell, UKball had become a 'modern' state- advanced in technology yet retaining its culture. Even though the 1990s, as the economy became unstable, and Scotlandball, Northern Irelandball, and Walesball each received their own parliaments. In 1997, Chinaball stole Hong Kongball, which destroyed its empire. As UKball entered the new millennium, it also helped remove the Y2K bug.
UKball was now officially involved in the Second Gulf War coalition in 2003, and it fought in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria between 2007 and 2015. UKball is no longer quite as powerful as it used to be (though still proving that size isn't everything). Still, after the 2005 terrorist attacks left it reeling, UKball now has one of the best security systems in the world and is one of the world's most advanced nations. It now continues to rule, despite a close 2014/5 Scottish independence referendum vote.
On 24 June 2016, UKball announced that they would leave EUball, as it disliked being told what to do, giving birth to a secret joy in the heart of Franceball—who prophesying it—and was waiting for it to transform the union. This led to Germanyball and other EU countryballs trying to convince it to stay, much to UKball's disgust. Negotiations to entirely leave are currently underway, but now Scotlandball and Northern Ireland are contemplating independence from UKball so that they can remain in EUball. On 8 June 2017, it had an election which Theresa May won, but there was a hung parliament. When it decided, it was half asleep and didn't know what was going on. When UKball woke up and learned what it had done, it panicked and tried to get a do-over. It still hasn't got one and is beginning to hate its Prime Minister for refusing to give one.
On 19 May 2018, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got married. UKball celebrated this special day. In May 2019, Theresa May decided to resign and was succeeded by Boris Johnson.
On 31 January/1 February 2020, it finally left EUball and is now talking with it about their deal with its Brexit leader and make some article 50 with former prime minister to make the border cant cross on it to Eurozone (except for the non country of EUball). Also on 31 January, the first case of COVID-19 was reported in its clay by Chinese nationals. Boris Johnson was also accused of holding parties at his residence during lockdown which violated his stay at home order that was issued a month after Brexit, and this scandal became known as "Partygate", an obvious reference to Watergate.
On 1 July 2020, Chinaball impacted a controversial law on Hong Kongball to 'prevent' Hong Kongers from protesting. UKball became insanely mad and vowed to take revenge by extending BN(O) rights. Australiaball also did the same thing because it also opposed the NSL. After China heard this, the relations between the UK and China became rapidly hostile.
On 9 April 2021, Prince Philip, who was the Queen's husband, sadly died and his funeral was held 8 days later. This led to an outpouring of grief and the country held a few days of mourning
except Boris Johnson who continued his parties. The next few months would prove that this was a turning point for the Queen, who began cancelling many planned appearances due to mobility issues which currently persist today. In July, the England football team (largely hated by most of the world watching the Euros because of their toxic fans) faced off against Italyball and lost in the Final, being the closest they came to winning a tournament since the 1966 FIFA tournament which they had won.
In February 2022 the Queen celebrated her 70th anniversary of her accession to the British throne, though during the central weekend of the celebrations she had to miss a couple of her appearances to major events and either stayed home at Windsor castle or simply made balcony appearances, causing much worry for the people. A few days after the main celebrations the Queen became the second-longest reigning monarch of a sovereign state with a verifiable reign by exact date behind Louis XIV.
In late June, a political scandal erupted as several members of Johnson's cabinet resigned, and one of the members of the cabinet Johnson assigned to the job a couple of days after the resignations proved to be a convicted sex offender which caused even more resignations. Despite surviving a no confidence vote earlier, the resignations were too much for Johnson and he subsequently announced his resignation on July 7, to the happiness of most of the population. After this, the Conservatives held an election among their MPs (and votes were reserved for MPs only) and two candidates emerged: Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss. The latter, Liz Truss, was revealed to have won the vote, and took over as the 3rd female Prime Minister in British history.
Occurring at around the same time, temperatures risen all throughout Europe, causing many areas of UKball's clay being flooded, and forced in severe drought. Temperatures risen to record-breaking highs, which really didn't help the cost of living crisis the countryball was already facing. Matters were made much worse on the 8th of September, when Queen Elizabeth II died at the height of the crisis.
It loves Crumpets, tea
('a bit too much, as they panics when they run out and stabs anyone who steals it'), Fish and Chips, Football, 'Doctor Who, Top Hats, Monocles, Canes, Scotch Whisky, Pork, Stiff Upper Lip, and World Domination, it also apparently loves the EU Food laws, despite not being in it.'
Nowadays, UKball experiences heavy nostalgia for its old empire like Russiaball, back when it ruled the waves (still does, but not as much) but it along with others is planning space exploration and will rebuild the empire there (Britannia rule the stars?).
Has a friendly rivalry with estranged child USAball (Although sometimes slightly annoyed by its arrogance) and Germanyball, who is UKball's other favorite European friend alongside the likes of Belgiumball. Kicked Franceball's bum with the likes of Reichtangle, although these days they are friends. Currently doesn't like Spainball as they pretend they are strong and can take Gibraltarball, same with Argentinaball and Malvinasball (Malvinas? What is that?).
Nations and Provinces within UKball
UKball is a combined kingdom of three different constituent countryballs and one provinceball:
- Englandball - The leading ball of the UK, it is the leader of the other three, holding both the British Monarchy and Parliament. ('in some comics, Englandball is synonymous with the whole UK, while in others its the exact opposite') its old Imperial self loves conquest, roast beef, and tea. Its modern Chav self loves Rock and Roll, anarchy, football, and speaking in crude English (u wot m8?! I'll bash your f***ing head, swear on me, mum). It is now upset that it has no government like the other countries in the UK do.
- Scotlandball - The northern neighbour of Englandball, it loves bagpipes, claymores, and FREEDOM. It still cannot into independence. It is sometimes found under UKball's tophat. After leaving the EU, it wants to leave more and more by the minute from Englandball (not anymore). It is very often seen arguing with England.
- Walesball - West of Englandball, Walesball is the sibling of Scotlandball and the origin of medieval England's longbow, which helped them defeat Franceball sometimes. Still loves molesting sheep today.
- Northern Irelandball - Once upon a time, all of Irelandball's clay was part of the UK. But after that, it rebelled in 1916. Ireland was split into two, with the northern side ( Ulsterball being split himself) remaining loyal to UKball.
|Resolution Blue||0, 31, 126||C100-M75-Y0-K51||#001F7E|
|White||255, 255, 255||N/A||#FFFFFF|
|Philippine Red||208, 12, 39||C0-M94-Y81-K18||#D00C27|
After the fusion of Englandball and Kingdom of Irelandball, the newly-formed UK changed its flag to the red, white, and blue double cross shape it is today. It always has a top hat and monocle on. In its home clay, UKball can be found drinking tea and eating fish and chips, or complaining about immigrants alongside USAball.
- Hong Kongball - One of the best children I ever had. I raised them from after the Qing Dynasty began to fall apart
from the opiumuntil the dirty dim sum that is Qing's modern self took it away from me. I spend a lot of time mourning for them and their harsh fate under Chinaball's rule. Also, I love your beautiful milk tea, child.
- Portugalball - They are my England's oldest ally and best mate. If I were Sherlock Holmes, they would be my Wattson, but unfortunately, we don't talk a lot with each other nowadays. On rare occasions, we may get together to play a football game and drink in a pub. I also tip my hat to you for stopping that tosser Dr ACactivism during my dear SuRie's performance at Eurovision 2018 before things got worse, cheers m8!
- Franceball - My former rival and one of my best friends. Once, we fought a few wars while colonizing North America and ended up having one of the best nights of my life (and the U.S. and Canada were born after that. It's a pretty long story!) As Japan would say, I have been kind of a tsundere to them.
- Croatiaball - A great Slavic nation who beat my child, England in the World Cup in 2018. They've been no slouch in the 2020 (1) Euros, either! They're pretty good at Football, you know!
- Spainball - We've really had a complicated relationship, but nowadays we're fine, because we're both allies in NATO. And Gibraltar is still mine, but if you really want them that bad, I'd advise you: please take good care of it! I suppose this whole drama started when I went to war with them, and sank the Spanish Armada.
- Canadaball - They're the good child, loyally following the crown and always being happy to help when I need them. Unlike their sibling, America, who revolted against me, they opted for independence peacefully. Sincere thanks for expelling four of Russia's spies!
- Rohingyaball - I'll support you against murderous Myanmar, and they will achieve freedom no matter what it takes!
- Belizeball - They're relatively peaceful, and sadly, I don't really hear from them. But if their idiotic neighbour tries anything, I'm sure to defend them!
- USAball - They are my eldest, biggest, strongest, and also my proudest child. They're always there to aid me in my time of need, and they even invite me sometimes to fight extremist kebabs like ISIS together as a parent and child together. They've also made me extremely proud as they've become bigger and stronger than I ever could! But would it kill them to use the metric system just once? And how they outdo me in every way possible sometimes makes me jealous. Oh, and by the way, I owe them a huge thanks for expelling 60 of Russia's spies.
- Israelcube - They're just so cute! I molded them and Palestine's land after the First World War, and the U.S. brought them to life with me later. Years ago we didn't like each other much but after i left you to be on your own we have a good relationahip.
I MIGHT RECOGNISE PALESTINE SOMEDAY THO
- Australiaball - They're the delinquent child that was always kind of insane, like that time they went to war with emus and lost, wrestled crocodiles, swam in the swamp and ran across the outback. but still kinda makes a good living from their environment. Also, they must stop giving me more grandchildren. Who do they keep getting busy with/adopting children from, and why does this always happen?
- Papua New Guineaball - Australia's adopted child, which technically makes them my grandchild, But the situation isn't as straightforward as one might think. We just hope they won't grow into another uninhabitable, scorching hot piece of land like their parent. Also, when Bougainville gains independence, I'll be a grand-grandparent. Dear God help me!
- Indiaball Pakistanball Bangladeshball and Myanmarball - These guys all make up what used to be the ol' Raj! But since they split in the 70s, they all started to hate each other. Well, at least I still keep kind of good relations with them all!
- New Zealandball - One of my younger children. They happen to love 'sheep-shagging', whatever that is. I heard one of the joint-first people to climb Mt. Everest was Edmund Hillary, who was a Kiwi, so congrats to them!
- Germanyball - My Germanic sibling and also a friend of mine after our. Rather complicated past, but it's great when we hang out and have been together! I'm jealous of how they are both obscenely wealthy and how France instantly fell in love after Brexit. One time, France cheated on me with Germany and the friggin' EU was the result! God, I hate that union.
- Philippinesball - An old ally and close friend. I'm sorry about how my people have mistreated their workers! And won't they just admit that Malaysia owns Sabah already?!
- Saudi Arabiaball - I really don't get why I like them. Oh yeah, they have good oil (like father like son)! BUT THEY MUST REMOVE SHARIA LAW AND DEVELOP SOME F***ING RESPECT FOR HUMAN RIGHTS!
- Netherlandsball - They kinda control the English Channel too. I like to think of them as close relatives. Their language is so frigging to learn, but they make up for it by being able to speak excellent English! And they love to go biking with me every now and then
even though we can't technically bike because we don't have limbs!
- Belgiumball - I've stood up for them when Germany tried to invade them. Twice. But did they really have to humiliate me in the 2018 World Cup? They're pretty strong, especially in footie.
- Egyptball - They're kinda one of my more insane and rebelious kids, to put it simply. I don't care what they think, I'm not giving the Rosetta Stone back! They'll just have to make a duplicate.
But why won't they give the Suez back to me?
- Ontarioball - One of my favourite grandchildren. They love me and have always stuck by me. They're easily better than Quebec.
- South Africaball - It is also kind of insane along with Egyptball right now. They still hate us for the concentration camps, but they're okay now. The high off of the BRICS must be getting to it. Also, thanks for Nelson Mandela and removing your apartheid parent.
- Botswanaball - My southern African child who also hates Argentinaball for stealing its flag.
- Brazilball - The child of Portugalball. We have found a common enemy, but it also happens to be my football rival. You're welcome to invent football. It was one of my best friends when it was an empire. Still, in 1865 we had a difficult situation, but nowadays, we're okay, by the way.
- Mexicoball - The child of Spainball This boy is good at making tacos, sombreros for royal people and more exotic delicious food. And it hates Argentinaball too, so that's a real bonus.
- South Koreaball - The good one, I helped it big time in the Korean War, so it doesn't get annexed into it evil sibling.
it is also my Proudest child's girlfriend hehe.
- Irelandball - Well, I may give you some credits for helping in the World Wars and some carter of 🥔 potatoes, your favorite food.
(STILL DO, YOU ARE MY COLONY!)
- Hungaryball - Were both hate Idiot Union.
- Barbadosball - My child who turned into a republic recently.
- Chileball - It is
my bastard child'sfriend of the Southern. It supported me during Falklands War and I supported it during a war between Peru And Bolivia.
- Zanzibarball - I adopted it, and it's also the birthplace of Freddie Mercury (RIP
SailorFreddie Mercury, we miss you so much).
- Swedenball - We're so good friends that even in war we don't fight each other. It also builds a lot of furniture nowadays. VIKING STRONK! And sadly Estoniaball cannot into nordic.
- Malaysiaball - Good Asian child, very good chef and a half sibling to Indonesiaball. It's quite rich in culture. It looks twinned with USAball, and it hates dumb union for banning your palm oil and its sibling's nickle.
- Bruneiball - Another good chef and a rich child of mine.
- Indonesiaball - How dare you bully my 3 sons! But I'm sorry for 1811 and 1945, and currently we‘re friends right now and I support you because we both hate that s***ty poop for banning your nickle and your sibling's palm oil from EU. I quite like its cuisine, and it likes tea just like i do.
- UAEball - Sort of, and a good adopted child in the Middle East, but it doesn't like my culture anyway.
But give me some monies.
- Tringapore - Also an excellent chef (I love its chicken rice), ex-adoptive child, it used to provide lots of money for me. I'm so proud of its accomplishments what eludes me is its abhorrence of bubble gum. Also, one of the cleanest and world's most intelligent children mine and is also twinned with Hong Kongball.
- Ghanaball - An African child of mine. You made a fine ol' song! Quite catchy, Iid say!
When I do die, can you set up the coffin dance at my funeral? I heard it's something.
- Nigeriaball - Another African child of mine. It's having internal problems, but I know I'll get through it. Also, what the hell is wrong with the dramatic TV shows you have there?! Remove them from this instant! I also know about your 'Nigerian Prince' scam, even though you're a republic or something. I wished you were a monarchy like your prince scam!
- Thailandball - My second favourite curry takeaway after India. It and I are best friends in Asia, do you remember Bowring treat we are a good memory, we both have a monarchy, and I like the Queen. I also gave it some Harriers for its royal navy back then. Ah, the good ol' VTOL days.
- Kuwaitball - Another one of my Middle Eastern children that has been independent since 1961. I will protect you if my child tried to Anschluss you again!
- Ethiopiaball - It used to be the enemy that I failed to occupy it during the Scramble for Africa. But I really like its injera
(You say you are the creator of coffee! HOW DARE YOU CREATE A VILE THING)
- Ukraineball - I support it on Crimeaball. Also my child's best friend. Thank you for the 12 points at Eurovision 2022, our first in 5 years!
- Bulgariaball - My brave friend.
(See § Enemies)
- Islamic Republic of Afghanistanball - Rest in peace, old
chapbuddy. Your movements were overthrown and that d***head emerges victorious at last.
- Elizabeth II - Her majesty is the longest reigning monarch of my land, who ruled for over 70 years. but unfortunately, she's dead at 96. You may be gone and have done a bunch o' controversial things, but you cared and loved us and you were always there by our side when you were alive. Rest in peace her majesty, your legacy shall forever be remembered, and God bless you!
- Quebecball - You speak
FrogFrench more than you speak English, and you are also my most rebellious child and keep wanting to get its independence since the time it was in my clay. I taught my child Canadaball not to give you independence and to keep you in his clay.
- Polandball - Now, listen here, you little pierogi eater! Just clean my toilets, already! What's taking you so long?! At least I helped you in both world Wars.
- Belarusball - Oi, you Russian puppet or whatever you are. What's with your anger towards me, eh? Do you need some tea to calm your skirts down? Yes, I have evidence that Russiaball sent nerve agents on my streets. Whatever Lukashenko wants to do to me, just for your information, me, Canada, USA, and many others will retaliate against you.
- Serbiaball - A former war criminal
and trying to deny the genocidebut is still a good ol' chap. Somewhat my other citizens loved this guy because I supported it with WW1. However, it became a commie and me, and my strong child failed to reclaim its crown. But I Still have great relations with it.
- Guyanaball - Thanks for forgiving me child. And again, sorry about 1953, don't remember that, okay? I'll stand on your side in case Venezuelaball gets their territorial ambitions on Essequibo.
- Inuitball - They won't give me the Northwest passage! But thanks for not killing my men.
- Icelandball - Oi, listen to me you little Bjork face. Why you love Russia so bad? And stop trying to throw me into Iceland! THIS IS WHY MY REICH DOESN'T WORK ON YOU! NEVER FORGET COD WARS! But you thanked me for my restaurants.
- Mauritiusball - One of my strongest children from the Indian Ocean. Until it doesn't make me let go of the BIOT. It DOES NOT FOLLOW THE CROWN! JUST FOLLOW THE DAMN CROWN ALREADY!
- Scotlandball - Please don't leave me! Wait, you don't want to? Okay, don't worry, I'll find a way to relax from Brexit.
- Peruball - Sort of like. It's dreaming to be like Japan and it thinks me and my children will die.
- Cyprusball - it's the other bad child. Well, kind of. Sort of. It DOESN'T FOLLOWS THE CROWN! Also, a madman who cannot into making me let Akrotiri and Dhekelia go. But my people love to visit it; we need to get out of the weather after all
(that's why I need to revive the empire!), so ugh, I'll be on terms with you.
- Vietnamball - It hates Chinaball for trying to anschluss it and I don't care if Mainland China was trying to annex you! But give pho. It's friends with USAball so we're fine.
- Iraqball - My child who also likes tea. But never forget 1991 where yuo tried to Anschluss my child. We'll help you against that terrorist! ''
2003 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE?!
- Ugandaball - An adopted child from Africa who hates homosexuals, in which I disapprove. Err. your films is. quite special. Eh?
- Mongoliaball - It's good, but it was my worst enemy ever since it was these Empire days. Oh wait, and it has an embassy in London you!
- Japanball - It likes tea like us. A different kind, though, and we had an alliance back then. Also, thanks for making me the 8th Pokémon region (Galar)! BUT WHY DID YOU WANT TO KILL MY child. It's 'WALES', not 'WHALES'!
- South Sudanball - You must be Sudanball's child! I'm your grandparent. (Also, I heard that your parent was the real oil thief. you might want to consider changing your status for the USA, it can't buy your oil.)
- Englandball - Stop complaining about having no parliament, period.
- Armeniaball - You're a good friend of mine but I can't recognise your genocide because you're a bloody puppet of vodka. And don't destroy my environment, please.
- Walesball - Well, if you are dating my child. *
- Northern Irelandball - Please stop trying to reunite with the other Ireland! Oh wait, you don't want to? Or you do. I never know what you want, make up your mind, child! I even accept that you go to live with Ireland if it is through a democratic referendum. But only in that way. Also, what is your obsession with flags?
- Vodka bully - YOU! YES YOU! STOP TERRORISING MY PLUMBER, UKRAINE AND MY child! YOU, CHINA AND IRAN ARE NO MATCH AGAINST THE ALL MIGHTY POWER OF NATO! Well, at least we can be friends now because we both hate that s***bag and into likings tea.
- Kazakhbrick - Why don't you like my new Borat movie, is it really bad? Uzbekistan are nosy people in their brain?
- Sudanball - Look, child. I know you have border disputes with Ethiopiaball right now, but you shouldn't have started the war with it.
You better stop fighting around its borders and claim its land
- Palestineball - My
step-childresult of a previous colony, our relations are rather complicated, but I still feel bad for it due to the current situation with Israelcube right now.
- Brittanyball - It's another guy from France who likes me, but. (See § Worst enemies)
- Romaniaball - Nice guy, but remove vampires
even though vampires live in its clay. (§ Enemies)But at least we both hate this fake guru.
- Somaliaball - We are good friends but GIVE MY child who I don't officially recognise yet but still maintain unofficial relations with INDEPENDENCE NOW!
- EUball - Recently, you these days are being such a dickhead. You promised you could help your first six members. Still, you didn't, you're just giving threats, such as Article 13 and implying sanctions on my children, especially Malaysia, Sudan, etc. You wot m8, 2020 best year of my life! Long live Brexit! Cry to your parent; it won't help! I'm glad Russiaball is giving you what you deserve, TALLY HO!
- Thirteen Coloniesball - AKA USA during its young times. But we're good now.
- Argentinaball - NOW, LISTEN HERE, M8, we've already fixed our international relations, so STOP CLAIMING THOSE DAMN FALKLANDS! REMEMBER 1982! You weren't even bothered when I got those islands at the year 1833! SO GIVE ME THE FALKLANDS RIGHT NOW, REMOVE MESSI! REMOVE TANGO!
- Iranball - This country who loves making threats towards my child and cannot stop being nuclear. But its poetry is the best I guess.
- Sealandball - My rightful fort.
(actually, I'm about to recognise you, BUT PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE, it's really embarrassing!)Also, you ain't recognised boi!
- Zimbabweball - My own
evil blimeychild Can't you run yourself correctly?! Also, you just kicked out all of your white residents!
- Syriaball - Fix Your barbaric country, Remove Assad! But at least it hates Jihaywan.
Romaniaball and Bulgariaball - STOP STEALING MY JOBS YOU STUPID AND ANNOYING ROMAS! AND FOLLOW THE BLOODY CROWN, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I WILL INVADE YOU! THAT'S WHY POLAND IS MY PLUMBER, NOT YOU! (I'm also not sure if Romania is a vampire or not)
- Northern Cyprusball - Stop messing with Cyprus, eh.
- Nazi Germanyball - It cannot cross the channel. Hehe! I'm really glad that it never invaded me. BUT YOU JUST BLITZED MY CAPITAL LONDON! REMOVE NAZI! REMOVE BLITZKRIEG! REMOVE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ARGENTINA? I was right about you!
- Liechtensteinball - You stole my National Anthem! I had it first m8!
- Chadball - HOW DARE YOU HARASS MY child BY CALLING it A VIRGIN?! AND ALSO STOP TERRORIZING MY child'S EPIC GAMES FANBASE!
- Chinaball - We both like tea but I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY child AT JUNE 30 2020! Also stop killing innocent Uyghurs.
- Venezuelaball - it HATES FOUR OF MY children and supports Argentinaball on believing that Falklands are it!
- North Koreaball - STOP TRYING TO HACK OUR HOSPitALS WitH YOUR RANSOMWARE! WE HAD TO RESORT TO WRITE IMPORTANT PAPERS INSTEAD OF TYPING THEM, THANKS TO YOU (Thankfully, I stopped your attack)!
- Myanmarball - Can you just control your own government my
idiot blimeychild?! Well, it's also the Tatmadaw's fault. YOU DESERVED TO GET SANCTIONED BY MY child!
- Lebanonball - This blimey hates me for no exactly reason!
- Cambodiaball - It SUPPORTS NATIONAL SECURitY LAW AND SAYS HONG KONG BELONGS TO CHINA, it'S HOW SHAMEFUL it IS! I HOPE VIETNAM WILL ANSCHLUSS YOU! IM GLAD THIS b**** BEATING YOU IN FOOTBALL!
- Crimeaball - Crimea is Ukraine! Also, my
flaglesschild is mine and stop saying that it's Irish!
- Basqueball - M8, I have the flag first. Just change your flag already! Now I'm happy that Icelandball created that Basque-killing prank on you, lol.
They hate us translating their names - WHAT THE F*** IS UP WITH YOU THREE?! WHY DO YOU HATE US TRANSLATING YOUR NAMES?! SPEAK THE KING'S, YOU BL**DY MONGROLS!
EVIL COCKBALLS! (WORST ENEMIES EVER!)
- ISISball - Now, listen here, you little jihad kebabface. YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR WITH YOUR GODFORSAKEN IDEOLOGY, SUCH AS MASS GENOCIDES, BEHEADING MY MEN, MURDERING INNOCENT CITIZENS, PILLAGING MY TOWNS, DRIVING OVER PEOPLE, AND KILLING MY POLICEMEN, ALL IN THE NAME OF ALLAH AND FOR A STUPID BLOODY DISGRACE OF A MISINTERPRETATION OF YOUR BELIEFS. EVEN AL-QAEDA THINKS YOU'RE TOO VIOLENT NOW!
- Identity stealer (Rarely) - YOU F***ING COPYCAT! YOU JUST STOLE MY NAME AND YOU GONE EVEN WORSE, YOU JUST STOLE TWO OF MY CHILDREN'S AND MY GRANDCHILD'S FLAG! NO INDEPENDENCE FOR YOU! GO BACK TO FRANCE! THAT'S WHERE YOU BELONG, YOU BLOODY TW*T!
- Napoleon - GO TO HELL WHERE GOD CAN JUDGE YOU. WHY DO YOU WANT TO ANNEX MY FRIENDS?!
- Andrew Tate - OH MY GOD, YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PATHETIC “INFLUENCER” WHO LIKES TO SCAM HIS FOLLOWERS AND IS PROMOTING A VERY DISGUSTING IDEOLOGY AT THE SAME TIME! THE FACT THAT YOU WERE RAISED ON MY CLAY MADE IT EVEN WORSE! I AM GLAD THAT YOU ARE FINALLY BANNED FROM SOCIAL MEDIA!!!
- UKball has the most historical territories in the world due to their own Empire.
- Its flag is called the Union Flag (or the Union Jack when flown in ships). Its design represents a blending of the English and Scottish flags and the flag of St Patrick which represents Ireland. The Welsh don't get a part because they were a part of England when the flag was designed.
- In Polandball rule, UKball must always wear a top hat and a monocle as a stereotypical way to show themselves as elegant and intellectual.
- In 16th century England, bearded men had to pay special taxes.
- Before Englandball invented the English language, they spoke French.
- London's Big Ben is not the clock, but the bell inside it. It rings every 15 minutes, and one can hear it from five miles.
- The King owns all the sturgeons, whales and dolphins in the waters within 3 miles of the UK.
- People say that one of its children, Englandball is one of the most dangerous players in the Euro and World Cup.
How to draw
This is how to draw UKball:
- Draw the typical circle (NO CIRCLE TOOL) with a blue background.
- Draw a white cross like this: (--|--)
- Draw another white cross like this: (><)
- Repeat steps 2 and 3, but with fewer wide lines and in ''red''.
- Draw a black top hat
- Draw the eyes and a monocle and cane (Optional), and you're finished!