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    Polandball Wiki

    Russian Empireball

    The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia.
     
    — Otto von Bismarck

    The Russian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball is an historical countryball. Its clay once stretched from Europe all the way across the continents of Asia into North America, and even one time in Africa for a short moment in 1881 (Sagallo, Russia's Short-Lived Cossack Colony In Africa).

    It was murdered and destroyed completely by his child, the Russian SFSR (old)-icon.png Russian SFSRball (aka Soviet-icon.png Sovietball) during the 1917 Russian Revolution-icon.png Russian Revolution. At its greatest extent, its size was 22.8 million square kilometers, so it is about 33% bigger than its present self.

    History

    Conquest and Expansion (1721-1801)

    Russian Empireball was born in 1721 and replaced its parent Tsardom of Russia-icon.png Tsardom of Russiaball that year. It descended from Slavs-icon.png Slavsball and Mongol Empire-icon.png Mongol Empireball and by 1721, already had a vast domain stretching from the Baltic Sea to Central Siberia.

    In 1739, Russian Empireball and Austrian Empireball tried to gangbang Ottoman Empireball in the Austro-Russian-Turkish War but it somehow beat them both and the war became inconclusive.

    In the 1760s, Imperial Russiaball explored and conquered the Siberian and Central Asia plains and steppes with little difficulty or resistance from the local 1-icon.png 1ball tribes that lived there. It even went across the Bering Straits into Alaska and North America.

    In 1774, the Russian Empireball took Crimea. Up until 1792 at the Treaty of Jassy, the Russians completely beat up the Ottomans.

    In 1772, 1790, and 1795 Russiaball participated in Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball Poland-Lithuania-icon.png all three partitions of Polandball and Lithuaniaball's clay with Kingdom of Prussia-icon.png Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austria-icon.png Austriaball.

    Poland-Lithuania-icon.png Polandball's 1791 uprising against it was crushed with ease, and the Kingdom of France-icon.png French Revolution saw Russiaball from the Armed League of Neutrality of the North in 1799, in favour of trade with France-icon.png Franceball rather than UK-icon.png UKball. The League was disbanded in 1801.

    European Affairs (1801-1881)

    In 1806, France-icon.png Franceball had invaded Poland-icon.png Polandball's former clay, and after a disagreement with Imperial Russiaball, who had just conquered Finland-icon.png Finlandball in 1809, it invaded Russiaball's clay in 1812 and reached Moscow-icon.png Moscow, but Russiaball retreated and burned it to the ground with a scorched earth strategy.

    Russiaball blocked its route home at Maloyaroslavets and forced it into conflict at Borodino. Franceball retreated safely, but by 1814, Russiaball was in the coalition that was advancing upon Paris. In 1815, after Kingdom of France-icon.png Franceball's nationalistic fever calmed down, Russiaball was included in the Concert of Europe and became interested in the Balkans.

    In 1853, after falling out with Ottoman-icon.png Ottoman Empireball, Imperial Russiaball threatened an invasion of Constantinople, which alarmed UK-icon.png UKball and France-icon.png Franceball, who sent their armies to the Crimea to help Ottoman-icon.png Ottoman Empireball.

    UK-icon.png UKball was mortally wounded at Sevastopol-icon.png Sevastopol, but the fortress fell, and Russiaball agreed to disarm the Black Sea in 1856. Meanwhile, Russiaball sold its child Russian America-icon.png Russian North Americaball to USA-icon.png USAball, who renamed it Alaska-icon.png Alaskaball, in 1867, something it would come to regret.

    But Russiaball was not finished with the Balkans. In 1877 the Russo-Turkish war broke out, and in 1878 UK-icon.png UKball and France-icon.png Franceball stepped in again, drawing up new borders for the clay there.

    Ottoman-icon.png Ottoman Empireball was forced to retreat from Eastern Europe, and United Principalities-icon.png Romaniaball and Bulgaria-icon.png Bulgariaball born. In 1881, Russiaball survived an assassination attempt that would change its life. It also attempted to abolish serfdom at this point.

    Russia in Revolution and Collapse (1881-1917)

    In 1883, Russiaball got a new flag and started to expand south-east into Qing-icon.png Qing Chinaball's clay, taking Manchuriaball and Mongolia-icon.png Mongolia in the 1890s. Russiaball started to build the Trans-Siberian Railroad and also attempted to reform itself with the Industrial Revolution.

    It also started a colony called Sangallo in 1893, but it was stopped quickly France-icon.png Franceball. By 1900, Russiaball was still largely agricultural and undeveloped, despite having vast reserves of untapped resources. It was not too successful in imperialism, despite being in the Boxer expeditionary force of 1900.

    It lost the Russo-Japanese War in 1904-05, after having its fleets sunk at Port Arthur and Tshuima Straits. Its accidental child Soviet-icon.png Sovietball, born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, used these failures as excuses to lampoon its parent.

    In 1905, Russiaball had a partial breakdown, which resulted in it cutting itself and forming a new parliament (the Duma) which had little power. In 1907 it joined the Triple Entente with UK-icon.png UKball and France-icon.png Franceball, against the expanding German Empire-icon.png Imperial Germanyball, and 1912 saw it attempt to interfere with the Balkan Wars, in favour of its Slavic siblings.

    However, in 1914 the Great War saw the strong but unprepared Russiaball suffer many wounds at the Masurian Lakes and Tannenburg battles. It had more luck during Osowiec, where the German's suffered heavy losses after the attack of the dead men, and also during the East invasion of Prussia, which resulted in an undecided outcome.

    It was also more successful against the incompetent Austria-Hungary-icon.png Austria-Hungaryball, invading its Galicia clay, as well as Ottoman-icon.png Ottomanball trying to invade it in winter, and held the front at a heavy cost for two years, until something inside it snapped in 1917.

    From March 8 to March 16, 1917, it had a personality change, resulting in it becoming a republican ball, but its child Bolshevikball was still fed up and used its parent's weak state to murder it and take its place on November 7, 1917 during the Russian Revolution-icon.png October Revolution. It became Russian SFSR (old)-icon.png R.S.F.S.Rball that year, and later after the Russian Civil War Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball in 1922.

    Relationships

    Friends

    • USA-icon.png USAball - I sold Alaska to it. We were warm neutral, but still really good friends. Both served in numerous wars together, stopped the Russo-Japanese War, and more. We've had a down in 1903-1905 but even still, we are very good friends. I’m very sorry that my Soviet-icon.png child and Russia-icon.png Grandchild both hate you so much. Other than that, we both hate Lenin-icon.png Vladimir Lenin, Leon Trotsky-icon.png Leon Trotsky, and Stalin-icon.png Joseph Stalin.
    • Austrian Empire-icon.png Austrian Empireball - I help it in its wars and it supports me too. But we had to be at war in WW1, sadly... And also an ally against that Ottoman-icon.png kebab.
    • France-icon.png Franceball - Forced me into surrender on occasion. But was defeated by glorious Russia! Then we teamed up against the German Empire-icon.png German Empireball. BUT NEVER FORGET THAT WAR!
    • UK-icon.png UKball - Fought it in the Crimea with France-icon.png Franceball. Then we teamed up against the German Empire-icon.png German Empireball.
    • Union of South Africa-icon.png Union of South Africaball - I had good relations with it when it was a Dominion of the British Empire. I also had close military relations with it and I like the Boers.
    • Armenia-icon.png Armeniaball - Kept a bit of its clay around as secret weapon against kebab. May it pay for what it did to you. Presently the only clay Armenia-icon.png Armeniaball has left.
    • Abyssinia-icon.png Ethiopian Empireball - Fellow Eastern Orthodox sibling that hates the UK. I also helped it during the first Ethio-Italian war. We are also good trading partners. Sadly, its emperor was also murdered by the Soviet-icon.png Derg-icon.png EVIL REDS.
    • Kingdom of Romania-icon.png Kingdom of Romaniaball, Bulgaria-icon.png Kingdom of Bulgariaball and Kingdom of Serbia-icon.png Kingdom of Serbiaball - I freed them from Ottoman-icon.png Ottoman Empireball.
    • Cuba-icon (Batista).png Republic of Cubaball - You are the real Cuba. Sadly those evil Communism-icon.png Communists also killed you as well in 1959. But that was 42 years later or nearly 2 generations later.
    • German Empire-icon.png German Empireball- We almost had an alliance in 1905. Our leaders are cousins btw.
    • Italian-Empire-icon.png Kingdom of Italyball- We are good friends and I like you very much. Thank you for fighting the evil Russian SFSR-icon (soldier 1919).png Reds. But leave Abyssinia alone plox!!
    • Finland-icon.png Finlandball - My child who likes me for giving independence. Also, both remove tomato communism.
    • Poland-icon.png Congress Polandball - My other child who tried to escape home in 1830 and 1863. You helped a bit in 1914.
    • Alaska-icon.png Alaskaball - Also my child whom I'm sorry about for selling it. Good thing 'Merica protected it from tomato vodka.
    • Belarus-icon.png Belarusball/Byelorussian SSR-icon.png Byelorussian SSRball - It is my cute child! After Poland-Lithuania-icon.png Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball finally died, I adopted it. It cried a lot when I was killed/murdered. I miss you too my sweet child!
    • Anticommunism-icon.png Anti-Communismball - I super agree with you 100%. Please, don't forget what first happened here in 1917, we will help you against the evil Russian SFSR-icon (soldier 1919).png Reds.
    • White Movement-icon.png White Movementballs - Thank you for preserving my legacy and fighting against the Russian SFSR-icon (soldier 1919).png Reds (although you did kind of bad I appreciate the effort).

    Neutral

    Enemies

    • Sweden-icon.png Swedish Empireball - My pathetic enemy that I defeated in 1721. LOL you're pathetic and I hope you die.
    • Ottoman-icon.png Ottoman Empireball - My rival, one which I usually defeated easily. I always wanted to anschluss Istanbul-icon.png its capital to restore Byzantine-icon.png Byzantineball. Not to mention, this asshole committed genocide against Armenia-icon.png Armenians.
    • German Empire-icon.png German Empireball - We used to be friends. Our Leaders were cousins! You wouldn't have won if it weren't for the REDS!
    • Qing-icon.png Qingball - Manchuria is mine! 1911 best year!!!
    • CSA-icon.png SLAVE LOVER - YUO FUCKING DIXIE PIG! YOU ONLY SUCCEEDED BECAUSE YUO JUST LIKE SLAVERY! YOU DID NOT BECAUSE OF STATES RIGHTS, FUCKING CYKA! AND THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND DECLARE WAR ON MY FRIEND AND BLAMED THE WAR ON IT!?! UNACCEPTABLE! I WILL SUPPORT THE NORTH, ALSO YOU WANTED THE POLISH NATIONAL GOVERNMENT TO JOIN YOU BECAUSE THEY SUPPORTED YOU! IN 1865 NEVER FORGET! REMOVE SLAVERY! REMOVE DIXIE!
    • Switzerland-icon.png Switzerlandball - Stop gibbing Lenin-icon.png Lenin refuge! Throw the idiot man into a prison, the bastard.
    • Communism-icon.png Communismball - Stop revolution!! Stop revolting!! Remove Lenin-icon.png Vladimir Lenin! You're hampering our war effort!
    • Russian SFSR (old)-icon.png Russian SFSRball - Communist child who rebelled against me and later murdered me in 1917 because I had starved it.
    • Soviet-icon.png Soviet Unionball - False communist successor to me and Russian Republic-icon.png my child! Remove Lenin-icon.png Lenin!! Remove Leon Trotsky-icon.png Trotsky, and Remove Stalin-icon.png Stalin!! Remove the Reds! Remove Soviet and Remove Communism!
    • Russia-icon.png Russiaball - You Traitor! You are just like your evil, monstrous and totalitarian Soviet-icon.png Parent Sovietball!! You still follow its policies!!
    • Estonia-icon.png Estoniaball - My child who hates me, because I killed it in 1896 using stampede, I did not mean it! Also it says I'm responsable for my Soviet-icon.png child and my Russia-icon.png grandchild existing. Look, It's not my fault okay? (cries)
    • Lithuania-icon.png Lithuaniaball - Another child who hates me, but this time, it hates me for no reason. (why)

    Gallery

    PolandGallery.png
    Polandball Wiki has a gallery of artwork, comics, gifs and videos of Russian Empireball.

    Click here to see it.



    VE
    Finland-icon.png Perkele Bane of Soviets Republic of Darude Sandstorm Linux and Angry Birds Finland Finland-icon.png
    Regions

    Aland-icon.png ÅlandballCenteralFinland-icon.png Central FinlandballCenteralOstrobothnia-icon.png Central OstrobothniaballKainuu-icon.png KainuuballKymenlaakso-icon.png KymenlaaksoballLapland-icon.png LaplandballNorth Karelia-icon.png North KareliaballNorthern Ostrobothnia-icon.png Northern OstrobothniaballNorthern Savonia-icon.png Northern SavoniaballOstrobothnia-icon.png OstrobothniaballPäijät-Häme-icon.png Päijät-HämeballPirkanmaa-icon.png PirkanmaaballSatakunta-icon.png SatakuntaballSouth Karelia-icon.png South KareliaballSouthern Ostrobothnia-icon.png Southern OstrobothniaballSouthern Savonia-icon.png Southern SavoniaballSouthwest Finland-icon.png Southwest FinlandballTavastia Proper-icon.png Tavastia ProperballUusimaa-icon.png Uusimaaball

    Finland
    Cities Helsinki-icon.png HelsinkiballMariehamn-icon.png MariehamnballPori-icon.png PoriballTurku-icon.png TurkuballTampere-icon.png TampereballSavonlinna-icon.png Savonlinnaball

    Enonkoski-icon.png Enonkoskiball

    Former entities 2-icon.png Migrants from East (Prehistoric Europeans)Sami-icon.png SamiballSwedish Empire-icon.png Swedish EmpireballRussian-Empire-icon.png Russian Empireball (Grand Duchy of Finland-icon.png Grand Duchy of Finlandball) • Finland-icon.png Kingdom of FinlandballFinland-icon.png DR FinlandballRed-icon.png Finnish Socialist Workers' RepublicballKarelian ASSR-icon.png Karelian ASSRballKarelo-Finnish SSR-icon.png Karelo-Finnish SSRball
    VE
    Turkmen-icon.png Türkmenistan The Land That Rules by a Dictator Turkmen-icon.png
    District Turkmen carpet1.gif Ashgabat-icon.png AshgabatballTurkmen-icon (division).png AhalballTurkmen-icon (division).png BalkanballTurkmen-icon (division).png DaşoguzballTurkmen-icon (division).png LebapballTurkmen-icon (division).png Maryball
    Former Entities Turkmen carpet2.gif

    Turkmen carpet3.gif Turkmen carpet4.gif Turkmen carpet5.gif

    2-icon.png Migrants from South (Steppe Peoples)Bukhar Khudahs-icon.png Bukhar KhudahballPrincipality of Farghana-icon.png Principality of FarghanaballSamanid Empire-icon.png Samanid EmpireballGhaznavid Empire-icon.png Ghaznavid EmpireballSeljuk-icon.png Seljuk EmpireballGhurid Dynasty-icon.png Ghurid DynastyballAbbasid-icon.png AbbasidballQara Khitai-icon.png Qara KhitaiballKhwarazmian dynasty-icon.png Khwarazmian dynastyballChagatai Khanate-icon.png Chagatai KhanateballMongol Empire-icon.png Mongol EmpireballIlkhanate-icon.png IlkhanateballKurt dynasty-icon.png Kurt dynastyballTimurid Empire-icon.png Timurid EmpireballKhanate of Bukhara-icon.png Khanate of BukharaballSafavid-icon.png Safavid dynastyballEmirate of Bukhara-icon.png Emirate of BukharaballAfsharid dynasty-icon.png Afsharid dynastyballKhanate of Khiva-icon.png Khanate of KhivaballRussia-icon.png Russian TurkestanballTurkestan ASSR-icon.png Turkestan ASSRballKhorezm SSR-icon.png Khorezm SSRballTurkmen SSR-icon.png Turkmen SSRball
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