The contents of this article are subject to change.(May 2022)
|“||Oi maamme, Suomi, synnyinmaa,
soi, sana kultainen!
— Finlandball about to sing its anthem
|“||To whom it may concern, f**k you.||”|
— Valtteri Bottas
|“||On kauniina muistona Karjalan maa,
mutta vieläkin syömmestä soinnahtaa,
kun soittajan sormista kuulla saa,
|“||Äänd here we goo!||”|
— Lauri Vuohensilta
|“||There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.||”|
— Linus Torvalds
|“||Just leave me alone, I know what to do!||”|
— Kimi Räikkönen
|“||Uh, I dunno. It's unfortunate.||”|
— Valtteri Bottas
— Kimi Räikkönen
|“||It’s too f**king late now, f**k’s sake!||”|
— Kimi Räikkönen
— Patrick Star
Finlandball, officially the Republic of Finlandball, is a sovereign stateball
who likes to drink milk and Nordic countryball located in Northern Europe. To the west, it borders Swedenball, as well as Russiaball to the east and Norwayball to the north. Its clay is divided into 19 regionballs with an Autonomous Regionball, as well as its capital Helsinkiball. With a total area of 338 440 square kilometers, Finlandball ranks 65 in largest countryballs in the world by area, as well as number 8 in Europe. As of 2019, it has a population of 5.521 million inhabitants. There are around 443,000 immigrants, most coming from Russiaball, Estoniaball, Iraqball, Swedenball, Somaliaball, and Yugoslaviaball.
It maintains membership in EUball, as well as the Nordic Councilball and Arctic Councilball. However, it applied to join NATOball after Russiaball invaded Ukraineball.
As the drunkest countryball in Europe, Finlandball does not have many friends. Its adoptive sibling is Swedenball, but it is of family. However, some consider its girlfriend Estoniaball as its best friend, since it sells it cheap alcohol. Another reason nobody likes Finlandball is that it never talks, preferring small talk and it seems unapproachable.
Despite belonging to the Nordic Councilball, it is not technically Nordic, as it belongs to an Uralic group called Finnic, not North Germanic (Norwegian, Swedish, Danish). Despite this, it's still very good at English, just like its sibs.
Its national day is December 6th.
History[edit | edit source]
Finlandball was born as a 1ball. Unlike the majority of Europe, Finlandball, along with Hungaryball and Estoniaball (as well as some parts of western Russiaball) were settled by mongoloid Uralic groups that came from the Ural mountains of Russiaball.
For a while, Finlandball was isolated from the rest of Europe until Scandinavian Christians went through Finland in order to spread Christianity through the Northern Crusades. The Swedes successfully spread Christianity in Finlandball and Paganism died out there. Finlandball was then made a slave of Kingdom of Swedenball, until 1809, when it became part of Russian Empireball.
Russiaball first let Finlandball do its own thing and let rely on its own economy, but later on started the Russification process which annoyed Finlandball. Finland had its identity crisis which lead to it slowly wanting freedom.
In 1917, it gained independence, it descended into civil war between Finnish Whites and Finnish Reds for three months one year later, resulting in Finnish Whites victory.
In 1939, it kicked Soviet Unionball's butt for attempting to anschluss it during the Winter War, but was eventually pressured into giving up 10% of its clay to Sovietball by the war's end in 1940. A year later, the Continuation War broke out and Finlandball aligned itself with Nazi Germanyball during Operation Barbarossa and reclaimed its lost clay, but would see its clay lost once again in 1944 after it was once again pressured into surrendering to USSRball due to there not being enough resources to continue the fight. Finlandball then fought Nazi Germanyball in the Lapland War and paid war reparations to avoid occupation and retained its independence.
Today, Finlandball still works as a drunken farmer, but somehow, it managed to do some worthy things. Most notably, it develops the famous video game, Angry Birds, and the "indestructible" Nokia cellphone that not even Russian or American nukes can destroy. Finlandball celebrated its 100th birthday on December 6th, 2017.
Flag Colors[edit | edit source]
The flag of Finland is a white banner with a blue Nordic cross
|White||255, 255, 255||N/A||#FFFFFF|
|Dark Midnight Blue||0, 47, 108||C100-M56-Y0-K58||#002F6C|
Of course like all Nordic countries, the cross symbolises Christianity. Color-wise, some people say the white stands for the winter, while the blue stands for the many lakes and blue skies in Finland.
Relations/Suhteet[edit | edit source]
Friends/Ystävät[edit | edit source]
- Indonesiaball - I come here during my Nordic Holidays for its beautiful beaches!
- Thailandball - I come here during my Nordic Holidays for its
thicc-ass femboysbeautiful beaches and restaurants!
- Estoniaball - My little sibling and best friend, I buy my vodka from it, always cheap! During World War II, its people fought with my forces. Also, it wants to be Nordic, but unfortunately Swedenball refuses to let its in. Shame. Also we share the same anthem. Oh and by the way, after we gained independence in 1918, we were thinking about uniting together, but that never happended, yuo can thank Soviet Unionball for that perkele.
- Denmarkball - I like to call it Stupid Sweden. Is a friend, exports lots of fun goodies like Lego and Arla, but can't understand what it's saying. Also Norwayball, Swedenball and me like to make fun of its shitty hockey skills.
- Uralball - My parent. Yuo is kind to me and my siblings. I love yuo. It lives with my Russian siblings.
- Hungaryball - My ugric sibling/cousin who got lost in Central Europe and was great on your actual home. The only one in the whole Europe, who not just understands my alcoholism, but does it as well also. I'm sorry for supporting EUball against yuo, forgib me plox. Let me and my Friend into NATO!! PLOX!! *cries*
- Bulgariaball - Friend who needed kebab removed in 1870s . yuo welcoms!
- Italyball - Used to visit you, but now you're becoming unstable. Is everythings okay? Also, fantastic job at winning Eurovision with a rock band!
- Yooperball - American child, got much sisu. Speaks like Canadians. Also much of its population is Finnish!
- Kareliaball - Sibling who lives with Russiaball.
- Mari Elball - Sibling who live with Russiaball.
- Samiball - Polar sibling, some of them live with me.
- Norwayball - Thanks for trying to give me the peak of Mount Halti, I absolutely love you.
- Icelandball - You so small i forget you sometimes but can into drinking PERKELE! BUT WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH RUSSIA?!
also gib more skyrri is so good yummy slurps slurps
- Canadaball - Our North American friend and hockey rival! You played very well in the World Juniors 2019 and the IIHF 2019 You were awesome! Awesome job in getting silver this championship! Thanks for HOSTING IIHF 2021 in EDMONTON DESPITE THE PANDEMIC! :D
- Spainball - Vacation! Also Axis buddies during WW2 even though it is neutral. Also we both hate Cataloniaball, though Basqueball is my friend.
- Swedenball - I was adopted by it. We are good friends now, but in the past I used to be of it clay. Made perkele pakkoruotsi (Forced Swedish lessons in school), perkele! Both of us joined EUball in 1995. Our friendship is maintained at the highest level, and interactions between our public authorities and civil society is of very stronk. New elements of our special friendship are the official minority language status that Finnish receives in Swedenball as well as the business integration between us. We are also united because we applied to join NATOball simultaneously; however, the other Nordicballs and the Baltic countryballs are NATOball members.
- Switzerlandball - Best hockey partner who fought a tough match
- USAball - Minun mate! We won the championship thanks for playing with us! Let's peek against Russiaball at prior times.
- Vietnamball and Indonesiaball - Other Southeast Asian friends. Both guys love my Nokia phones. Me and Vietnam can into beat the superpower. Indonesia likes my curriculum system.
- Philippinesball - Best Southeast Asian Friend. I have several OFWs on my clay. But I'm sorry about your embassy on my capital.
- Ukraineball - Crimeaball is yours and we both hate Russia.
- Indiaball - We both have a love-hate relationship with Swedenball.
- Germanyball - It helped fight me against evil vodka, but you were a Nazi though, so I kicked you out! Anyway we are fine with each other and you're not a Nazi now. Oh we both love drinking.
- Netherlandsball - Taught me how to weed. Also sellings me tulips PERKELE!
- Franceball - You is fun but can you stop with the revolutions. Is a League of Nationsball member, alongside UKball. Also your city stole my flag.
- Kosovoball - My 10th president made an idea of Kosovo becoming a sovereign state, also when Kosovoball became independent Albanians in Finland's clay celebrated and expressed their gratitude to the Finnish Government and President Ahtisaari.
- Polandball - Happy 100th. We are free from Russia's wrath!
- Japanball - I like your anime and cars. Also you should be responsible for making your Vocaloid Miku sing my song and turning it into a meme.
- Wyomingball, Acreball, and 6ball - Friends that exist except humans deny it. I don't like the fact that almost all of you guys (Except Acreball) want to destroy Earthball and humanity. What did they ever do to you?
- Zemgaleball adoptive child
- Basqueball - At least you are not as bad as Cataloniaball, who wants independence more than you do. But you are Spainball's clay and that is why you exist. We both speak difficult languages.
- Saudi Arabiaball - You are not bad kebab just like other kebabs because we both hate Serbiaball and i wonder my siblings hates you.
- Argentinaball - We both can into Tango, liking Donald Trump. Argentinaball is the 1st non-European country that I established diplomatic relations with.
- Peruball - Good South American friend, but Argentinaball will always be my best South American friend!
- South Koreaball - I'm sorry. Please give me the corona inspection kit!
- Türkiyeball - Introduced kebab to me, NICE.
But why can't you sign ratification protocols just like my sibling?
- Russian Empireball - Dad. Thanks for giving me independence. We both hated Soviet Unionball, and we both fought it too.
- Israelcube - I don't recognize Palestine for you so we have common enemies. Still, for humanitarian reasons don't abuse it plox.
- NATOball - LET ME IN, PLOX! RUSSIA MIGHT INVADE ME!
Neutral/Neutraali[edit | edit source]
- UKball - A parent of Canada. I don't mind it. It is nice. But don't make Brexit complicated please!
- Mongoliaball - I'm sometimes considered to be you're ancestor but okay I am (actually I'm not. We just both from Siberia)
- Russiaball - Never forget 1939, but in recent decades our relationship has improved and we are good now. We also vodka-drinking buddies and we go to saunas together. BUT I CRUSHED YOU 4-1 in BRONZE MEDAL IIHF 2021 in EDMONTON! GET REKT LOL! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE TO CANADA AND ME? NOW, LISTEN, HERE, YUO LITTLE SHITBAG, I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE A TREATY, BUT WHY DID YOU INVADE UKRAINE?! THAT'S IT! I'M JOINING NATO, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! EVEN IF YOU INVADE ME, YOU'LL TRIGGER ARTICLE 5. DO YOU REALLY WANT WORLD WAR III?!
- : Then don't join NATO. Simple. Plus it's none of your business.
- Do you think I care you can't stop me and Swedenball from joining.
- Serbiaball - An ally of Russia but stop hurting Kosovoball and leave it alone now! Otherwise...
- Palestineball - I'm not sure what our relations are, plus i don't recognize you for Israelcube, but we have similar pasts with conflict and war, so i guess we can (maybe) be friends in the future?
- Myanmarball - You like my games and products, but STOP. KILLING. THE ROHINGYAS.
- Chinaball - Best Asian friend! I was the third western country to recognize it after my siblings, Denmarkball and Swedenball. At least once a year I make an official state visit to it. Is my fifth largest trading partner, I bring it technology and it brings me tourists, 380,000 of them in fact. We have many sibling cities, is so perkele! Also 24,000 Chinese people live happily in my clay, and I havings many Chinese schools. But. I oppose the Hong Kong National Security law, sorry ystävä!
Enemies/Viholliset[edit | edit source]
- DEMONIC VODKA - NJET MOLOTOFF, NJET MOLOTOFF / VALEHTELIT ENEMMÄN KUIN ITSE BOBRIKOFF! 1939 NEVER FORGET. YUO OCCOPIED MY SIBLINGS AND ATTACKED ME AND MY CHILD. JUST TAKE BACK YOUR VODKA! I HATE YOU COMMUNIST. AT LEAST I REKT YOU IN WINTER WAR AND HUMILIATED YOU! By the way, do you want to play chess? If so, I have many pieces available for you including my German weaponry.
- North Koreaball - Is not to be of trustings perkele. REMOVE KIM FAMILY AND YOUR NUKES FROM YOUR SIBLING!
Altrough you are Asia's highest Literacy rate....
- Somaliaball - STOP IMMIGRATING TO MY CLAY YOU TYHMÄ SÄÄLITTÄVÄ PIRATE!
- Afghanistanball - Same thing as I said to Somalia plus you are the unhappiest country in the world!
- South Sudanball - Same thing I said to Afghanistan only except you have the lowest literacy rate in the world!
- Venezuelaball - Another commie. On 30 March 2020, a patrol boat fired gunshots and collided with a cruiser built in mun clay; but fortunately its ship sank lol.
- Cataloniaball - Communist wannabe. I would have put it jail if it didn't freaking escape to Belgium.
- Moroccoball - NEVER FORGET 2017 TURKU. But I don't recognize Western Sahara and we're friends with USAball so.
- Syriaball - STOP IMMIGRANTING TO MY CLAY! or else.
- Nazi Germanyball - Yuo may have removed Commie and collaborated with me (thanks for the help) but WHY YUO LIKE KILLING JEW SO BAD?! AND DON'T YUO THINK THAT I DID NOT REMEMBER THE TIME THAT YUO INVADED ME IN LATER IN THE WAR! 1943 NEVER FORGET! LAPPI WILL ALWAYS BE FINNISH CLAY PERKELE!
- Türkiyeball - It is like me. But I am Uralic, not TURKIC. AND NO TURKU IS NOT TURKIC! ALSO, SAME AS JAPAN, YUO SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TURNING IEVAN POLKKA INTO A MEME! YUOR RESIDENT HAS SING THE SONG WHILE PLAYING YUOR TRADITIONAL DRUM!
- South Africaball - DECLARED WAR ON ME WHAT I DO TO YUO! WW2 NEVER FORGET! NEVER FORGET APARTHEID!
- Ålandball - Child that hates me. HOW DARE YOU LOVE SWEDEN NOT ME? WHY? WHY?
- Vanuatuball - Just stop thinking that you are the happiest country in the world!
- Alexander Lukashenko - JUST RESIGN ALREADY!
- Marseilleball - Flag stealer!
- WORST ENEMY - YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN THIS! AT LEAST THE SOVIET UNION DIDN'T ENSLAVE ME FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME! YOU THINK YOUR EMPIRE IS SOOOOO COOL WHEN IT'S JUST NOT!
- Englandball - It hates me because I am sibling of Hungaryball. Also, it hates my sibling! FUCK HARRY KANE!
Gallery[edit | edit source]