|“||Äänd here we goo!||”|
— Lauri Vuohensilta
|“||There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.||”|
— Linus Torvalds
Finlandball, officially the Republic of Finlandball or Republic of
Perkele Finlandball, is Darude a fictional sovereign stateball and a secret mongol puppet Nordic countryball located in Northern Europe. To the west he borders Swedenball, as well as Russiaball to the east and Norwayball to the north. His clay is divided into 19 regionballs with an Autonomous Regionball, as well as his capital Helsinkiball. With a total area of 338 440 square kilometers, Finlandball ranks 65 in largest countryballs in the world by area, as well as number 8 in Europe. As of 2019, he has a population of 5.521 million inhabitants. There are around 443 000 immigrants, most coming from Russiaball, Estoniaball, Iraqball, Swedenball, Somaliaball and Yugoslaviaball. He is notorious for creating Angry Birds.
As the drunkest countryball in Europe, Finlandball does not have many friends. His adoptive brother is Sweden, but he is of family. However, some consider his sister/wife Estoniaball as his best friend, since it sells him cheap alcohol. Another reason nobody likes Finlandball is that he never talks, preferring small talk and he seems unapproachable.
Despite belonging to the Nordic Councilball, he is not technically Nordic, as he belongs to an Uralic group called Finnic. You can see his language, which is different from the true Nordic bois' Germanic languages (Norwegian, Swedish, Danish). Despite this, he's still very good at English, just like his bros.
His national day is December 6th.
Finlandball was born as a 1ball. Unlike the majority of Europe, Finlandball, along with Hungaryball and Estoniaball (as well as some parts of western Russiaball) were settled by mongoloid Uralic groups that came from the Ural mountains of Russiaball. For a while, Finlandball was isolated from the rest of Europe until Scandinavian Christians went through Finland in order to spread Christianity through the Northern Crusades. The Swedes successfully spread Christianity in Finlandball and Paganism died out there. Finlandball was then made a slave of Swedenball, until 1809, when he became part of Russian Empireball. In 1917 he gained independence, he descended into civil war between Finnish Whites and Finnish Reds for three months one year later, resulting in Finnish Whites victory. Then in 1939, he kicked Soviet Unionball's butt for attempting to anschluss him during the Winter War, but was eventually pressured into giving up 10% of its clay to Sovietball by the war's end in 1940. A year later, the Continuation War broke out and Finlandball aligned itself with Nazi Germanyball during Operation Barbarossa and reclaimed its lost clay, but would see its clay lost once again in 1944 after it was once again pressured into surrendering to USSRball due to there not being enough resources to continue the fight. Finlandball then fought Nazi Germanyball in the Lapland War and paid war reparations to avoid occupation and retained his independence.
Today, Finlandball still works as a drunken farmer, but somehow, he managed to do some worthy things. Most notably, he develops the famous video game, Angry Birds, and the "indestructible" Nokia cellphone that not even Russian or American nukes can destroy. Finlandball celebrated his 100th birthday on December 6th, 2017.
The flag of Finland is a white banner with a blue Nordic cross
|Catalina Blue||0, 53, 128||C100-M59-Y0-K50||#003580|
|White||255, 255, 255||N/A||#FFFFFF|
Of course like all Nordic countries, the cross symbolises Christianity. Color-wise, some people say the white stands for the winter, while the blue stands for the many lakes and blue skies in Finland.
- Estoniaball - My sister and best friend, I buy my vodka from her, always cheap! During World War II, its people fought with my forces. Also it wants to be Nordic, but unfortunately Swedenball refuses to let its in. Shame...
But I think one of these days you will, don't yuo worryAlso we share the same anthem. Oh and by the way, after we gained independence in 1918, we were thinking about uniting together, but that never happended, yuo can thank Soviet Unionball for that perkele.
- Denmarkball - I like to call him Stupid Sweden. Is of friend, exports lots of fun goodies like Lego and Arla, but can't understand what he's saying. Also Norwayball, Swedenball and me like to make fun of his shitty hockey skills.
- Hungaryball - My elder brother who got lost in Central Europe and was great on your actual home. The only one in the whole Europe, who not just understands my alcoholism, but does it as well also. I'm sorry for supporting EUball against yuo, plox forgib me.
- Bulgariaball - Freind who needed kebab removed in 1870s . yuo welcoms!
- Italyball -
axis buddyused to visit you, but now you're becoming unstable. Is everythings okay? Also, fantastic job at winning Eurovision with a rock band! Just remember I did it before you.
- Yooperball - American child, got much sisu. Speaks like Canadians. Also much of his population is Finnish!
- Kareliaball - Son who lives with Russiaball.
- Mari Elball - Brother who live with Russiaball.
- Uralball - My Mother who I love, it lives with my Russian brothers.
- Samiball - polar brother, some of him lives with me.
- Norwayball - thanks for trying to give me the peak of Mount Halti, I absolutely love you.
I finally surpassed you in the World Happiness Report lol.
- Icelandball - You so small i forget you sometimes but can into drinking PERKELE! BUT WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH RUSSIA!!??
also gib more skyrri is so good yummy slurps slurps
- Canadaball - Our North American friend and hockey rival! You played very well in the World Juniors 2019 and the IIHF 2019 You were awesome! Awesome job in getting silver this championship! Thanks for HOSTING IIHF 2021 in EDMONTON DESPITE THE PANDEMIC!! :D
- Spainball - Vacation! Also Axis buddies during WW2 even though he is neutral. Also we both hate Cataloniaball, though Basqueball is my friend.
- Swedenball - I was adopted by him. We are good friends now, but in the past I used to be of him clay. Made perkele pakkoruotsi (Forced Swedish lessons in school), perkele! Both I and He joined the European Union in 1995. Our friendship are maintained at the highest level, and interactions between our public authorities and civil society is of very stronk. New elements of our special friendship are the official minority language status that Finnish receives in Swedenball as well as the business integration between us. We are also united by the fact that neither of us have decided to join NATO, whereas all the other Nordic Countries as well as the Baltic States are NATO members.
- Switzerlandball - Best hockey partner who fought a tough match
- USAball - Ay mate! We won the championship thanks for playing with us! Let's peek against Russiaball at prior times...
- Vietnamball and Indonesiaball - Other Southeast Asian friends. Both guys love my Nokia phones. Me and Vietnam can into beat the superpower.
- Philippinesball - Best Southeast Asian Friend. I have several OFWs on my clay. But I'm sorry about your embassy on my capital.
- Ukraineball - Crimeaball is yours and we both hate Russia.
- Indiaball - We both have a love-hate relationship with Swedenball.
BUT DON’T MESS WITH MY FRIEND ANYWAY, YOU FAKE MUSLIMS! AND YOUR T-SERIES SUCK ANYWAY, SO MY FRIEND’S PEWDIEPIE WILL WIN!!!
- Germanyball - He helped fight me against vodka, but you were a Nazi though, so I kicked you out! Anyway we are fine with each other and you're not a Nazi now. Oh we both love drinking.
- Netherlandsball - Taught me how to weed. Also sellings me tulips PERKELE!
- Franceball - You is fun but can you stop with the revolutions. Also a League of Nationsball member, alongside UKball.
- Kosovoball - My 10th president made an idea of Kosovo becoming a sovereign state, also when Kosovoball became independent Albanians in Finland's clay celebrated and expressed their gratitude to the Finnish Government and President Ahtisaari.
- Polandball - Happy 100th. We are fre from Russia's wrath!
- Japanball - I like your anime and cars. Also you should be responsible for making your Vocaloid Miku sing my song and turning it into a meme.
- Wyomingball, Acreball, and 6ball - Friends that exist except humans deny it. I don't like the fact that almost all of you guys (Except Acreball) want to destroy Earthball and humanity. What did they ever do to you?
- Zemgaleball adoptive son
- Basqueball - At least you are not as bad as Cataloniaball, who wants independence more than you do. But you are Spainball's clay and that is why you exist. We both speak difficult languages.
- Saudi Arabiaball - You are not bad kebab just like other kebabs because we both hate Serbiaball and i wonder my brothers hates you.
- Argentinaball - We both can into Tango, liking Donald Trump. Argentinaball is the 1st non-European country that I established diplomatic relations with.
- Peruball - Good South American friend, but Argentinaball will always be my best South American friend!
- South Koreaball - I'm sorry. Please give me the corona inspection kit!!
- Turkeyball - Introduced kebab to me. NICE
- Russian Empireball - Dad. Thanks for giving me independence. We both hated Soviet Unionball, and we both fought him too.
- Namibiaball - Best African friend. Also we both like Reichtangle. (He is the Reich's colony while I was his client state.)
- Israelcube - I don't recognize Palestine for you so we have common enemies. Still, for some humanitarian reasons don't abuse him plox.
- NATOball - He hates me sometimes because of too much of my neutrality. But My Sister and My Brother joined to him so were ok now.
- UKball - A father of Canada. I don't mind him. He is nice. But don't make Brexit complicated please!
- Mongoliaball - I'm sometimes considered to be you're ancestor but okay I am (actually I'm not. We just both from Siberia)
- Russiaball - Never forget 1939, but in recent decades our relationship has improved and we are good now. We also vodka-drinking buddies and we go to saunas together. BUT I CRUSHED YOU 4-1 in BRONZE MEDAL IIHF 2021 in EDMONTON! GET REKT! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE TO CANADA AND ME?
- Serbiaball - An ally of Russia but stop hurting Kosovo and leave him alone now! Otherwise...
- Palestineball - I'm not sure what our relations are, plus i don't recognize you for Israelcube, but we have similar pasts with conflict and war, so i guess we can (maybe) be friends in the future?
- Myanmarball - You like my games and products, but STOP. KILLING. THE ROHINGYAS.
- Chinaball - Best Asian friend! I was the third western country to recognize him after my brothers, Denmarkball and Swedenball. At least once a year I make an official state visit to him. Is my fifth largest trading partner, I bring him technology and he brings me tourists, 380,000 of them in fact. We have many sister cities, is so perkele! Also 24,000 Chinese people live happily in my clay, and I havings many Chinese schools. But... I oppose the Hong Kong National Security law, sorry ystävä!
- Soviet Unionball - NJET MOLOTOFF, NJET MOLOTOFF / VALEHTELIT ENEMMÄN KUIN ITSE BOBRIKOFF!!! 1939 NEVER FORGET. YUO OCCOPIED MY SIBLINGS AND ATTACKED ME AND OCCOPIED MY SON. JUST TAKE BACK YOUR VODKA!!! I HATE YOU FUCKING COMMUNIST. AT LEAST I REKT YOU IN WINTER WAR AND HUMILIATED YOU!
- North Koreaball - Is not to be of trustings perkele... REMOVE KIM FAMILY AND YOUR NUKES FROM YOUR BROTHER!!!
- Somaliaball - STOP IMMIGRATING TO MY CLAY YOU TYHMÄ SÄÄLITTÄVÄ PIRATE!!!
- Venezuelaball - Another commie... In 30 March 2020, a patrol boat fired gunshots and collided with a cruiser built in mun clay; but fortunately his ship sank lol.
- Cataloniaball - Communist wannabe. I would have put him jail if he didn't freaking escape to Belgium.
- Moroccoball - NEVER FORGET 2017 TURKU. But I don't recognize Western Sahara and we're friends with USAball so...
- Syriaball - STOP IMMIGRANTING TO MY CLAY! or else...
- Nazi Germanyball - Yuo may have removed Commie and collaborated with me (thanks for the help) but WHY YUO LIKE KILLING JEW SO BAD!? AND DON'T YUO THINK THAT I DID NOT REMEMBER THE TIME THAT YUO INVADED ME IN LATER IN THE WAR! 1943 NEVER FORGET!!! LAPPI WILL ALWAYS BE FINNISH CLAY PERKELE!
- Turkeyball - He is like me. But I am Uralic not TURKIC. AND NO TURKU IS NOT TURKIC!! ALSO, SAME AS JAPAN, YUO SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TURNING IEVAN POLKKA INTO A MEME! YUOR RESIDENT HAS SING THE SONG WHILE PLAYING YUOR TRADITIONAL DRUM!
- South Africaball - DECLARED WAR ON ME WHAT I DO TO YUO!! WW2 NEVER FORGET!! NEVER FORGET APARTHEID!
- Ålandball - Daughter that hates me. HOW DARE YOU LOVE SWEDEN NOT ME? WHY? WHY??????
- Alexander Lukashenko - JUST RESIGN ALREADY!!!
- Marseilleball - Flag stealer!!
- WORST ENEMY - YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN HIM!!!! AT LEAST THE SOVIET UNION DIDN'T ENSLAVE ME FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME!!! YOU THINK YOUR EMPIRE IS SOOOOO COOL WHEN IT'S JUST NOT!!!