|“||Strč prst skrz krk.
(Stick your finger through the neck)
|“||Trochu piva si rád dám!
(I'd like some beer!)
|“||Tři sta třicet tři stříbrných stříkaček stříkalo přes tři sta třicet tři stříbrných střech.
(Three hundred and thirty-three silver syringes sprayed over three hundred and thirty-three silver roofs)
|“||I PLAY POKÉMON GO EVERYDAY||”|
— Misha/Mishovy Šílenosti (Pokemon GO kid)
|“||Jožin z Bažin||”|
— Ivan Mládek
Czechiaball, officially the Czech Republicball or Bohemiaball is a countryball located in Central Europe. Its clay is landlocked, bordered by Polandball to the north, Austriaball to the south, Slovakiaball to the east, and Germanyball to the west. The countryball is divided into 13 regionballs, with its capital Pragueball located in the Western half of the countryball, giving it a total area of about 30,450 square miles (78,865 square kilometers), making it the 113th largest countryball in the world. As of 2018, giving its a population of about 10.62 million inhabitants and is the European countryball that has the saddest anthem.
Like most other former communist stateballs, after the Soviet Union collapsed, Czechiaball decided to join EUball and NATOball to gain protection from Russiaball. Czechiaball is also a member in the Visegrád Groupball, being in Central Europe, as well as the UNball like almost every other countryball.
Czechiaball is often seen as the most stable and prosperous of all the post-communist stateballs of Europe. While it has had a rough history, being part of several different kingdomballs, duchyballs, empireballs, and unionballs, he was still able to keep its sense of nationalistic central European Slavic identity, making it one of the more peaceful Slavs of Europe. It also loves listening to Bohemian Rhapsody. It has very good beer.
Its national day is October 28, inherited from Czechoslovakiaball.
We are told that this ball started as a Samoball. Samoball formed a union for the market only and haven't even dreamed about being a kingdomball. When Czechball realized that Samo Empireball isn't enough, it turned to Great Moraviaball, it decided to have dukes and be as powerful as hell. But inside that Great Moraviaball was a smaller Bohemiaball, Moraviaball, and Nitraball (on Slovakiaball). After some years, this kingdomball included Hungaryball, Holy Roman Empireball, and Polandball. When it became bored of this, it started a war with Vaticanball, took farmers, women, and children and kicked asses during the four crusades. After that, Czechiaball became calmer and took a nap; during this nap, someone moved it in with Jagiellonianball, it wasn't even bothered, Slav master is a friend.
After that, it became very lazy and when Jagellonianball decided to give itself to Habsburgball, Czechiaball didn't even move a finger. Since then it had waited to someone beat Habsburgball and finally in 1918, it turned into Czechoslovakiaball, enjoyed this for a few years until the Naziball said: "You ist mein now" and Allies were like: "Is good, no war", but Naziball was also like: "No, you are nich of being Tscheckienslovakien, now du bist of Böhmen und Mähren!" Czechoslovakiaball was all like: "Oh no, fuck off". And then there was the war...
Few years after USSRball decided to make Czechoslovakiaball socialist. It was grateful to USSRball (for letting it in space and helping it build two nuclear power plants), but it wasn't that friend which it claims to be and after Czechoslovakiaball tried to go its own way, USSRball slaved it for 40 years. In 1989 it got pissed and got rid of USSRball.
Four years after that, Slovakiaball decided to leave it. Since then, Czech Republicball was bored and felt alone so one day it decides to visit EUball and its friends and eventually it decide to stay them. Actually, Czech Republicball is interesting with 3 presidents Václav Havel, writer and humanist, Václav Klaus, who stole pen and Miloš Zeman with his funny English language or drink alcohol. *bubblebum*
In 2016, Czech Republicball changed its name to Czechiaball, yet most still call it Czech Republicball despite the name change.
In 2020, relations between Czechiaball and Taiwanball became softer and more friendlier. Miloš Vystrčil once said, 'I believe that Taiwan is a free and democratic country. I believe that free and democratic countries have the right and obligation to cooperate with one another. This is why I have issued an invitation to the speaker of Taiwan’s Legislative Yuan, inviting him to lead a delegation to visit the senate of the Czech Republic so that our two countries can continue our cooperation.' Vystrcil emphasized that he had done nothing wrong. He said he did not feel he had infringed on the “One China” policy, as the Czech Republicball defines it. He said that Chinaball has its interpretation of the policy, but that other countryballs have the right to see it differently.
- Slovakiaball - Best friend and twin sibling. Our languages are very similar.
- Czechoslovakiaball - Union with Slovakia.
- Liberlandball - Child. But why aren't you real?
- Kingdom of Bohemiaball - Child
- Indonesiaball - It likes my shoes and my gun. Is a good friend.
- 🍺 Beer - Who needs balls with your gold friend?
- Austriaball - Old friend (But I still remember Austria-Hungary.) And it sometimes pisses me and Slovakiaball off with its anti-nuclear power stance. Nevertheless, I am going to expand both Dukovany and Temelín and I don't care what you think.
- Hungaryball - Visegrád 4 stronk!
- Polandball - It is the other westernmost Slav and my sibling. We are strong partners in peacekeeping. Gratulacje Poland! Happy 100th anniversary to you. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE RUSSIAN BASTARD WITH NATO!
- Croatiaball - Favourite holiday destination. (Can't wait for summer!)
- Germanyball - My good old beer friend. Thanks for getting me into the EU but you are also scary. Don't give me that nightmare again. I'm still watching you.
- Mongoliaball - After Taiwan, my favorite Asian buddy. We are very good friends and business partners.
- Syriaball - Best friend in the middle east, but why do you hate my friend?
- Israelcube - We are good friends (it bought weapons from me and I recognize Jerusalem as its capital), but you should meet my arab friend.
- Vietnamball - Friends ever since with trading of humans. It like me and my sib as well. It usually calls me Séc all the time.
- Romaniaball - Latin Beer buddy. I like its Dacia cars and it likes my Škoda cars too.
- Serbiaball - It's good Slavic friend
- Sloveniaball .- Pls, join Visegrad my Slavic friend.
- Ukraineball - Best supportive sibling! I will defend you from the Russians just like what happened to me in 1968! Also Crimeaball is yours.
- USAball - Playing hockey with the Americans is great! We play a role in peacekeeping. GG you win this time 3-2 in hockey (IIHF 2018).
- Canadaball - Playing hockey with Canada is fun! We like Canadians and they like us! Maple Syrup is great! I support you over China and Russia!
- Cyprusball - Nothing special, we just get along very well.
- North Dakotaball - Ah yes, our colony in the USAball.
- Chinaball - Hey, why're you mad at me? Is it because I became friends with your older sibling Taiwan? It's okay, you're still my friend and one of my biggest trading partners but being with Taiwan is much better than you. It's so nice and kind. BUT I WON'T FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO HONG KONG IN JUNE 30 2020!
- EUball - It is good money gibber, but it is also annoying (It wants to send refugees to my country without my consent!)
- North Koreaball - (It buys weapons and guns mostly from Czechia). It's making peace with its Southern sibling which is a sign of relief.
- Iranball - It Hates Saudi Arabiaball but I don't think that my friend USAball hates you.
- Liechtensteinball - Go away, I will keep MY castles!
- Russiaball - F*cker. It's definitely exploded my munition warehouse in Vrbětice. Also Krym is Ukrainian!
- Torturer - My worst nightmare ever, I will remember you for bringing shame to my country in 1968.
- Boliviaball - NO PACIFIC COAST FOR YOU, TRAITOR!
- GENOCIDER - One of my worst nightmares EVER! Don't remind me of the past or I'll cry in bed with Poland. Bad as Soviet Unionball. (Who always comforts me and was also a victim).
- Kosovoball - I may recognize you but you're a Albania's bootlicker who asked NATOball to bomb my Friend. NEVER FORGET 1999 AND YOU TOOK ONE OF MY PEOPLE IN THE YELLOW HOUSE!!!
- Crimeaball - You're part of Ukrainian clay and not Russian!
- Palestineball - I do recognize yuo but Remove Hamas!
- Holy Roman Empireball - Same as Nazi Germanyball and Reichtangle.
- Austrian Empireball - Same as Holy Roman Empireball
- Austria-Hungaryball - Same as Austrian Empireball.
- ISISball - Go somewhere else with your terrorism such as Pakistan or some other desert countries.
- Turkeyball (In football) - Defeated me in euro 2008 and euro 2016 with 3-2 and 2-0. But also don't forget I won 4-0 from you so hahahahahaha. But your kebab is tasty and very good.
- Saudi Arabiaball - STOP HATING ME AND MY TWIN SIBLING FOR BEING CATHOLIC!! YOU ARABIC HOG I HOPE YOU WILL GET NUKED BY IRAN SOON!
- Tornadoes - WHY YOU RUINED MY CHILD!
- Chechnyaball - NAME STEALER!
- Anyone who confuses it with Chechnyaball - ALL OF YOU ARE IDIOTS! I AM NOT SOME CONSTITUENT REPUBLIC OR WHATEVER, I CAN INTO INDEPENDENCE!
|Regions||Central Bohemiaball • Hradec Královéball • Karlovy Varyball • Liberecball • Moravia-Silesiaball • Olomoucball • Pardubiceball • Plzeňball • South Bohemiaball • South Moraviaball • Vysočinaball • Ústí nad Labemball • Zlínball|
|Region Capitals||Brnoball • Ostravaball • Plzeň Cityball • Pragueball|
|Geographical regions||Bohemiaball • Moraviaball • Silesiaball|
|Former entities||Great Moraviaball • Duchy of Bohemiaball • Kingdom of Bohemiaball • Austria-Hungaryball • Czechoslovakiaball • Nazi Germanyball ( Protectorate of Bohemia and Moraviaball) • Czechoslovak Socialist Republicball ( Czech SRball) • Czech and Slovak Federal Republicball|
|Members||Czechiaball • Hungaryball • Polandball • Slovakiaball|
|Members||Austriaball • Bulgariaball • Croatiaball • Germanyball • Hungaryball • Moldovaball • Romaniaball • Russiaball • Serbiaball • Slovakiaball • Ukraineball|
|Observers||Belgiumball • Cyprusball • Czechiaball • Franceball • Georgiaball • Greeceball • Macedoniaball • Montenegroball • Netherlandsball • Turkeyball|
|West Slavs||Czechiaball • Polandball • Slovakiaball|
|East Slavs||Belarusball • Russiaball • Ukraineball|
|South Slavs||Bosnia and Herzegovinaball • Bulgariaball • Croatiaball • Montenegroball • North Macedoniaball • Serbiaball • Sloveniaball|
|Non-Independent Slavs||Carpathian Rutheniaball • Moraviaball • Kashubiaball • Goraniball • Sorbsball • Lemkoball|
|Historical Slavs||Slavsball • Kyivan Rusball • Kingdom of Polandball • Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball • Great Moraviaball • Grand Duchy of Muscovyball • Tsardom of Russiaball • Russian Empireball • Czechoslovakiaball • Kingdom of Yugoslaviaball • Soviet Unionball • Yugoslaviaball|
|Founders||Belgiumball • Canadaball • Denmarkball • Franceball • Icelandball • Italyball • Luxembourgball • Netherlandsball • Norwayball • Portugalball • UKball • USAball|
|Joined during the Cold War|| Greeceball • Türkiyeball
|Joined after the Cold War|| Czechiaball • Hungaryball • Polandball
|Membership Action Plan||Bosnia and Herzegovinaball|
|Intensified Dialogue||Finlandball • Georgiaball • Ukraineball • Swedenball|
|Individual Partnership Action Plan||Azerbaijanball • Armeniaball • Kazakhstanbrick • Moldovaball • Serbiaball|
|Organisationball for Economic Co-operation and Development|
||Australiaball • Austriaball • Belgiumball • Canadaball • Chileball • Colombiaball • Czechiaball • Denmarkball • Estoniaball • Finlandball • Franceball • Germanyball • Greeceball • Hungaryball • Icelandball • Irelandball • Israelcube • Italyball • Japanball • Latviaball • Lithuaniaball • Luxembourgball • Mexicoball • Netherlandsball • New Zealandball • Norwayball • Polandball • Portugalball • Slovakiaball • Sloveniaball • Spainball • South Koreaball • Swedenball • Switzerlandball • Turkeyball • UKball • USAball|
|Former Members||Free Territory of Triesteball|